South Park gets revenge on Chef  —  South Park has exacted revenge on its former star Isaac Hayes by turning his character Chef into a paedophile and seemingly killing him off.  —  The opening episode of the 10th series, screened in the US on Wednesday, appeared to be a satire on Scientology.

Britney Hosts Kevin's Birthday Bash  —  Britney Spears threw husband Kevin Federline a birthday party on Tuesday in his favorite city: Las Vegas, PEOPLE reports in its upcoming issue.  —  The singer and Federline, who turned 28 on March 21, arrived just after 8:30 p.m. at the restaurant Tao Las Vegas …

Paris Hilton returns to play the field  —  Heiress checks out new sweeties; Paula Abdul hangs with the guys  —  Another day, another sweetie for Paris Hilton.  Make that two sweeties.  —  The partying heiress - who apparently has split with Stavros Niarchos - has been busy auditioning replacements.

Lindsay Lohan: Wonder Woman?  —  I am at war with myself.  My brain is having trouble processing the thought of Lindsay Lohan as Wonder Woman.  Yes, you read correctly, Lindsay Lohan wants to play Wonder Woman in the upcoming film being written and directed by Joss Whedon, of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, reports The Sun.

DEDICATION HONORS NUDE BRITNEY SPEARS GIVING BIRTH  —  Pop-Star's Pregnancy Idealized In Brooklyn 'Monument to Pro-Life'  —  A nude Britney Spears on a bearskin rug while giving birth to her firstborn marks a 'first' for Pro-Life.  Pop-star Britney Spears is the "ideal" …

Doherty Pleads Guilty Then Kicks Reporter  —  LONDON - Moments after pleading guilty to seven drug charges Thursday, Pete Doherty lashed out at reporters covering his court appearance and kicked one in the arm.  —  Trudi Barber, a reporter for the British Broadcasting Corp.'s Radio One station …

Bust at Hot Hollywood Club  —  Mood raided by LAPD vice  —  (Mar. 23, 4:20PM ET) — At least 10 LAPD vice officers raided club Mood in Hollywood early Thursday morning, and TMZ caught all the action on tape.  —  One woman was arrested, cuffed and taken into custody.

Paula Abdul's New Guy  —  Mere weeks ago Paula Abdul grew teary talking to TV's Dr. Phil about the difficulty of finding true love.  He promptly set her up on 10 blind dates - but that was before Tony Schiena.  —  At last Tuesday's opening of the Leona Edmiston boutique in West Hollywood …

NO KID GLOVES  —  March 23, 2006 — WHITE trash king Kid Rock is accused of roughing up photographers and a fan who waylaid him outside an L.A. nightclub early yesterday morning.  Rachelle Kaplan, who runs a paparazzi video company with her husband, Gary Kaplan, says the rap-rocker …

Eva Longoria Sets the Record Straight  —  It's Eva Longoria on the offensive, attacking reports about her sex life!  —  The stunning "Desperate Housewives" star came right to "Extra" to set the record straight about her relationship with NBA star Tony Parker, and to give us the real deal about her sex life.

PRIMETIME.COM  —  March 23, 2006 — WHO says don't kiss and tell?  —  Certainly not Jessica Cutler.  True, when the low-level congressional staffer who'd been chronicling her Capitol Hill sexcapades was outed by fellow D.C. blogger Wonkette, she was fired from her position in an Ohio congressman's office.

In divorce saga, Ron has the last word  —  Ronald Perelman and Ellen Barkin may have fought like cats and dogs during their stormy 5 1/2-year marriage, but there's one thing on which they can probably agree:  —  The billionaire beat the actress in the battle of spin that took place behind the scenes …

Memo Pad: Roll Cameras ... T Bill  —  ROLL CAMERAS: American Media's reality show may be burning in development hell, but Jann Wenner's contribution to the candid camera genre is coming along nicely.  Casting gets under way this week with an ad in the new issue of Rolling Stone calling for applications.

Paul Bunyan, Modern-Day Sex Symbol  —  LAST December John Martin sat in on a focus group for a trend-forecasting company at which young professionals were asked about their grooming habits.  Mr. Martin found he had nothing useful to contribute.  His shaving regimen involves the use of a razor about as frequently as the seasons change.

Memo Pad: Black Marks ... Personnel Business  —  BLACK MARKS: Fashion memoirist Emily Davies' claim that her uncredited use of previously published material was an accident is seeming less credible.  Davies, a former fashion writer for the Times of London, continues to insist she had no intention …

Willis drops (die) hard line on Colombia  —  Bruce Willis is ready to rescind his invasion order against the nation of Colombia.  —  You may recall that the "Armageddon" star recently declared that the United States should consider "going to Colombia and doing whatever it takes to end the cocaine trade."

What Happened to Michael Douglas?  —  No wonder he was bashing Brad and Angelina.  It looks like someone was living in a cave for the past few months.  Let's hope his new look is for a movie role.  —  Source

Meet the Mets, and their angry celebrity fans  —  Trying to sell people on a losing baseball team is always an intriguing marketing proposition, and something, as a Mets fan, I'm quite familiar with.  It's a little disturbing to drive by Shea Stadium midseason to see a slogan proudly declaring that …