"South Park" Roasts Chef, Literally  —  Trey Parker and Matt Stone have buried the hatchet with—sorry, into—Isaac Hayes.  —  On Wednesday's South Park 10th season premiere, Hayes' Chef character was struck by lightning, impaled, shot, mauled by a mountain lion, eaten by a grizzly bear …

Paula Abdul's New Guy  —  Mere weeks ago Paula Abdul grew teary talking to TV's Dr. Phil about the difficulty of finding true love.  He promptly set her up on 10 blind dates - but that was before Tony Schiena.  —  At last Tuesday's opening of the Leona Edmiston boutique in West Hollywood …

Britney celebrates Kevin's birthday in Vegas - and drinks!  —  Britney Spears celebrates Kevin Federline's birthday in Vegas - and drinks!  —  If you believe the tabloids, Britney Spears's biggest problem with her husband, Kevin Federline is his partying.  And the place Kevin most likes to party is Las Vegas.

Lindsay Lohan: Wonder Woman?  —  I am at war with myself.  My brain is having trouble processing the thought of Lindsay Lohan as Wonder Woman.  Yes, you read correctly, Lindsay Lohan wants to play Wonder Woman in the upcoming film being written and directed by Joss Whedon, of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, reports The Sun.

Bust at Hot Hollywood Club  —  Mood raided by LAPD vice  —  (Mar. 23, 4:20PM ET) — At least 10 LAPD vice officers raided club Mood in Hollywood early Thursday morning, and TMZ caught all the action on tape.  —  One woman was arrested, cuffed and taken into custody.

Former Clay Aiken Fans Speak Out  —  These people need to get a life.  If Clay Aiken is gay, he's deep in the closet (not very convincingly).  And since Mr. Aiken hasn't denied or verified the rumors, this whole complaint really has no basis whatsoever.  Grow up people.

Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro are so Dunzo  —  This has been one hell of a week for celebrity break-up news.  First there was Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber, and then Scarlett Johansson and Josh Hartnett.  And even though I wrote in my links list yesterday that I didn't care about whether …

Eva Longoria Claims Allure Twisted Her Words  —  First Lindsay Lohan, then someone else who I can't remember, and now Eva Longoria are all claiming that there words have been twisted by magazine reporters.  I have a suggestion for all celebrities.  Why not just have all celebrities start creating their own podcasts.

French Clothing Great Lacoste Dies  —  Bernard Lacoste, the French clothing manufacturer who for more than four decades put crocodiles on the chests of people around the world, died Tuesday in a Paris hospital of a lengthy, undisclosed illness, said his company.  He was 74.

What Happened to Michael Douglas?  —  No wonder he was bashing Brad and Angelina.  It looks like someone was living in a cave for the past few months.  Let's hope his new look is for a movie role.  —  Source

Paris Hilton returns to play the field  —  Heiress checks out new sweeties; Paula Abdul hangs with the guys  —  Another day, another sweetie for Paris Hilton.  Make that two sweeties.  —  The partying heiress - who apparently has split with Stavros Niarchos - has been busy auditioning replacements.

NO KID GLOVES  —  March 23, 2006 — WHITE trash king Kid Rock is accused of roughing up photographers and a fan who waylaid him outside an L.A. nightclub early yesterday morning.  Rachelle Kaplan, who runs a paparazzi video company with her husband, Gary Kaplan, says the rap-rocker …

In divorce saga, Ron has the last word  —  Ronald Perelman and Ellen Barkin may have fought like cats and dogs during their stormy 5 1/2-year marriage, but there's one thing on which they can probably agree:  —  The billionaire beat the actress in the battle of spin that took place behind the scenes …

Pink Is Good At Being Ugly  —  I have to give Pink credit; she really knows how to make herself look ugly.  It amazes me that she goes out of her way to be like this.  I don't know what's so wrong with making an effort to be sexy.  It's not a crime.  All right, maybe she's no Jessica Simpson …

Doherty Pleads Guilty Then Kicks Reporter  —  LONDON — Moments after pleading guilty to seven drug charges Thursday, Pete Doherty lashed out at reporters covering his court appearance and kicked one in the arm.  —  Trudi Barber, a reporter for the British Broadcasting Corp.'s Radio One station …

Ex Madam To The Stars Fleiss Speaks On Charlie Sheen Prostitute Allegations  —  Former Hollywood madam HEIDI FLEISS knew her ex-client CHARLIE SHEEN's marriage to DENISE RICHARDS was doomed because the playboy loved the company of prostitutes too much.  —  Richards shocked Hollywood …

Before they were Lost.  —  It's like they acted or something before Lost.  Most of this is old news, but now we have video.  —  Josh Holloway who plays Sawyer on Lost, dancing with a monkey in an Old Navy commercial for Performance Fleece Pullovers.  Check out those brooding dance moves.

PRIMETIME.COM  —  March 23, 2006 — WHO says don't kiss and tell?  —  Certainly not Jessica Cutler.  True, when the low-level congressional staffer who'd been chronicling her Capitol Hill sexcapades was outed by fellow D.C. blogger Wonkette, she was fired from her position in an Ohio congressman's office.