Tom and Katie's Secret Wedding Plans, L. Ron Hubbard Approved  —  For months the world has been speculating as to when (and if) Tom Cruise will make an honest woman out of Katie Holmes.  Well, at least as honest as a contractual relationship can ever really be.

MEL'S REHAB ROLE  —  'TRYING TO STAY ALIVE': REP  —  Mel Gibson checked into rehab yesterday as his rep hinted at the star's uphill battle, saying, "The guy is trying to stay alive."  —  After spewing anti-Semitic comments and cursing a cop when he was arrested for drunken driving last week …

Sobering truths from Lohan's beau  —  There's a reason Harry Morton is such a good influence on Lindsay Lohan.  Morton's half-sister, the model turned bounty hunter Domino Harvey, died around this time last year of what was largely suspected to be a drug overdose, after years of battling substance abuse.

LOHAN SACKED BY ISLAND RECORDS  —  LATEST: LINDSAY LOHAN has reportedly been fired by her UK record label Island Records after she failed to travel to London for a planned promotional campaign for her album SPEAK.  The disc, which was recorded last year (05), ended up being shelved by the furious pop bosses …

Tori Spelling dumps designer duds on eBay  —  Plus: Tabloid report made Shannen Doherty burst into tears  —  Former rich kid Tori Spelling is economizing.  —  The former "Beverly Hills, 90210" star not only is selling off a bunch of old clothes on eBay, she's also registered for close …

Jamie Lynn Spears Has Failed Us  —  If any of you were holding out hope for redemption for the Spears family, specifically the potential hotness of Britney's younger sister, Jamie Lynn, that dream is now dead.  Yesterday I would have thought that Jamie could lose and arm and grow fangs …

Ooh La La, La La La La  —  Is it really wrong to miss the old Kevin Federline from days of yore?  I suppose I can appreciate that homeslice is trying to clean up his act ... I didn't mind so much the combed hair and neckties ... the sweater vests gave me pause but it was nice to see him trying.

Cher to auction 700 items from her home  —  LOS ANGELES - Come October, the highest bidder can sleep in Cher's bed.  It's one of 700 items from the superstar's Malibu home that will be auctioned beginning Oct. 3.  The sale includes furniture, artwork, jewelry, a 2003 H2 Hummer and original costumes by Bob Mackie.

Keira Knightey: Weird Chest Pictures  —  Keira's Been Cloned!  —  Do you like it when couples dress alike?  Well, you can add Keira Knightley and Rupert Friend to that list of couples who match their outfits.  Keira, 21, and Rupert, 23 stepped out for a bit of London shopping in matching straw hats, sunglasses, jeans, and shirts.

They Said What?  —  • "It wasn't crazy crazy, but we didn't go out in the Ferrari to read scriptures."  — Jamie Foxx, on partying with costar Colin Farrell while filming Miami Vice, to David Letterman  —  • "I've taken the vow of chastity ... for about 25 minutes."

Cindy Crawford's Husband Is A Daredevil  —  Ever wondered how to score a model like Cindy Crawford?  Well, make sure you're very wealthy, very handsome and psychotic enough to jump off huge boats into shark infested waters.  OK, I'm not sure if the water is shark infested …

Paris Says She's Back with Stavros - For Now  —  Paris Hilton is back together with her ex-boyfriend, Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos - at least for now.  —  "We're together now here.  We love each other," Hilton, who, like Niarchos, is in Saint-Tropez, told PEOPLE on Monday …

"Batman" Goes for "Brokeback"  —  Batman has a new adversary from Down Under.  —  Warner Bros. confirmed Monday that Heath Ledger will be playing The Joker in The Dark Knight, the next installment of the rejuvenated Batman franchise.  —  "I'm excited to continue the story we started with Batman Begins …

Victoria's Secret Makeup Can Make You Very Sexy  —  What happens when you put Heidi Klum, Alessandra Ambrosio, Karolina Kurkova and Izabel Goulart in one room?  You get hot models selling Victoria's Secret new 'Very Sexy Makeup' line.  Now since when did Victoria's Secret start marketing makeup …

Jackie Chan: Movie deal with Jet Li near  —  HONG KONG - A movie costarring two of the biggest names in kung fu cinema — Jackie Chan and Jet Li — is nearly a sealed deal, with the only outstanding issue being the script, Chan said Tuesday.  —  "All the hurdles have been overcome.

Jessica Simpson's Dad is a Pimp  —  So what does that make Jessica Simpson?  Some people may differ on the answer to that question, but it definitely makes Jessica Simpson's mom unhappy.  According to MSNBC, Jessica's parents have been fighting over their daughter's new sexier image, and Mama no like.

Tom Cruise Fights Dirty  —  From the fancy logo atop our site, as well as our moniker, "A Socialite's Life," one might assume that we would be above including posts on our blog simply for the sake of getting to see the word "crotch" in print.  And one would be very, very wrong.

Mimi is Trying!  —  I'm not going to say she looks like a fool, because our Mimi is trying!  She wants to be that woman so bad, but it's just not clicking.  I'm constantly getting the 1990s San Fernando porn star vibe from her.  The glasses just confirm the look.