Luv Bites Paris in the...Arm  —  Wasn't Paris Hilton supposed to have ditched her furry friend a while ago?  —  No, we don't mean the Simple Life star's ubiquitous Chihuahua, but rather the deceptively adorable kinkajou named Baby Luv that bit her on the arm earlier this week.

Kanye West Is Engaged  —  Rapper and producer Kanye West is engaged, several sources have confirmed to PEOPLE exclusively.  —  West, 29, proposed to his girlfriend, Alexis, while overseas for two weeks recently, sources close to the singer tell PEOPLE.  —  Alexis, whose last name …

Actor Lou Diamond Phillips Arrested  —  UPDATE 4:00 p.m. ET: TMZ has learned that Phillips was released from jail on his own recognizance at 12:00 p.m. PT He did not post bail.  Representatives for Phillips tell TMZ that no charges will be filed and that the entire incident was a "misunderstanding."

Elle's shock over 'Body' double Klum  —  Is Heidi Klum a "Body" snatcher?  —  Fellow supermodel Elle Macpherson, who's been known as "The Body" ever since Time magazine dubbed her that in a 1986 cover story, has every reason to think so.  —  This week, Klum has been claiming the title …

Beckham Gets Booted  —  It's a good thing he's got a fragrance in the works, cause it looks like David Beckham's going to be having a little more free time on his hands coming up here pretty soon.  Page Six has the scoop about a huge announcement concerning the British soccer superstar:

Curiouser & Curiouser  —  It looks like it's gonna be a slow newsday ... but we'll make the best of it ... let's get to it ...  In case you weren't sufficiently horrified yesterday by the first grainy pics of the supposed baby Suri Holmes Cruise allegedly borne of the sexual union of Tom Cruise …

Boo!  It's Tyra Banks and Nicole Richie  —  Here are Tyra Banks and Nicole Richie filming a segment for Tyra's show.  Now did Halloween come early cuz' I see a couple of witches.  Man, I don't think I've ever seen two celebrities look so bad together since Liza Minnelli and David Gest.

Talk show host Mike Douglas dead  —  WEST PALM BEACH, Florida (AP) — Mike Douglas, who drew on his affable personality and singing talent during 21 years as a talk show host, died Friday on his 81st birthday, his wife said.  —  He died at 5:30 a.m. in a Palm Beach Gardens hospital, said his wife, Genevieve Douglas.

Kristen Bell is OK!  —  In news that isn't really news, Kristen Bell is doing fine after she didn't really hurt herself on Wednesday.  The Veronica Mars cutie was rushed to the hospital after she slammed a car door on her hand, and feared she had broken it, but she didn't.

Kingston Rossdale  —  Harajuku Lover Mommy  —  Rock Steady!  Gwen Stefani took 2-month-old son Kingston Rossdale back to the recording studio yestertday at Mix Magic in Los Angeles.  Gwen wore a Harajuku Lovers tube top and sweats, topped off with Dior shoes.

Screech: I Was Mugged!  —  Where was the bell when he needed it?  —  Dustin Diamond, the irrepressible Samuel "Screech" Powers of Saved by the Bell fame, says he and a female fan got into a dust-up in an Omaha, Nebraska, hotel room that resulted in her trying to mug him.

California's Never Gonna Have A Real Governor Again  —  PR Inside says: … This is just retarded.

Reese Witherspoon Is Not Happy With Jessica Simpson  —  Reese Witherspoon thinks Jessica Simpson is stupid for acting 'cute and stupid'.  Yeah, she pretty much is on the money about that one. … Reese Witherspoon Slams 'Stupid' Jessica Simpson [Entertainmentwise]  —  Written by Lauren Burch

Paris Aims For Her Waist, Fails  —  Speaking personally, I always thought the recent trend of wearing belts as wide as the Mississippi was kind of a joke; I just don't see how it's possible to wear one of those things without looking like an idiot.  Even worse, Paris Hilton …

The White Oprah  —  I feel like Dinah Lohan is going out of her way to make me hate her.  —  Star magazine reports that the judgement-impaired mother of the now infamous Lindsay Lohan has finally felt comfortable enough to allow her thinly-veiled desires for personal fame and attention …

US WEEKLY STANDS FIRM ON ANISTON/VAUGHN ENGAGEMENT STORY  —  The editors of Us Weekly magazine are refusing to back down after their headline-making news about a Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn engagement was slammed by the actress' publicist.  —  Aniston's spokesman Stephen Huvane attacked …

Jordan's Breasts are Gigantic!  —  Jordan just signed a multi-million dollar deal with Panache to be the "chest" of their new range of bras for big-chested women.  She has started by modeling a line based on sweets.  She was extremely surprised when she was professionally measured by the label.