Britney snaps over Kevin's six pet sharks  —  Plus: Justin Timberlake's granny says he's not ready for marriage  —  Britney Spears is ruining all of K-Fed's fun.  —  The pop star is making her aspiring rap star hubby, Kevin Federline, get rid of his pet sharks, according to Life & Style.

SLIPPERY WAGON  —  RECENTLY rehabbed oil heir Brandon Davis is hitting the bottle again.  At the launch party for Paris Hilton's debut album at Suite in Miami, a drunken Davis climbed onstage and announced to the crowd, "I wrote a special new song called 'Firecrotch,' and it's for Lindsay Lohan!"

Suspect confesses to JonBenet Ramsey killing  —  Ex-teacher claims death wasn't intentional: 'I loved her'  —  BANGKOK, Thailand (CNN) — An American arrested in Thailand said Thursday he was with child beauty queen JonBenet Ramsey when she died in 1996 and called her death "an accident."

Lohan sexy black listed  —  LAZY LOHAN has been banned from a JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE gig this weekend - because she's bad for his image.  —  Justin is playing a showcase of new album FutureSex/LoveSounds at the House Of Blues in Los Angeles on Saturday.  —  And the snake-hipped singer's management …

Sean Preston Channels His Inner Federline  —  We're off to see the (studio) wizard  —  The manny returns... ...but so do the unfortunate tent-shorts  —  Britney might not feel like facing the press, but at least she's moving out of her "shrouded in blankets" phase!

KEIRA'S BAD STYLE  —  Now, we don't mind a bit of individualism when it comes to fashion here at Showbiz HQ.  —  However, we do get a little irked by A-list stars who flout a dress code but get away with it because of who they are.  —  There are many, many times when we want to go to work …

The Wonders Of Rehab  —  Kate Moss & Pete Doherty at an impromptu bar gig (is there any other kind with Doherty?) performance in North London.  [ed. note: This bloke goes from "court appearance coat & tie" to "cracked-out sweaty shirtless" faster than ANYONE.]

Chef Batali workin' on a side dish?  —  Celebrity chef Mario Batali has been enjoying la dolce vita this summer, with late-night drinking sessions at the Spotted Pig.  —  During one recent bacchanal, which lasted almost until sunrise, the red-headed restaurateur told his companions he was leaving to "drop in on Courtney Love."

Jennifer Aniston Sets the Record Straight: 'I'm Not Engaged!'  —  Jennifer Aniston, in an exclusive interview today with PEOPLE, denied published reports that she and Vince Vaughn are engaged, calling the stories "insane" and saying that "people are getting fed a lot of bull."

'Stalker' a talker  —  Farrell fanatic dumps 1 judge, lectures a 2nd, calls for delay  —  DAILY NEWS WEST COAST BUREAU CHIEF  —  SANTA MONICA, Calif. - The alleged stalker who accosted actor Colin Farrell on "The Tonight Show" stage played lawyer in a bizarre court appearance yesterday …

Don't Call Nicole Richie Anorexic  —  You can call her disgusting, skeletal, ugly, a bag of bones, annoying, that girl that never would have been famous if it wasn't for the fact that Paris Hilton made a stupid sex tape that got on the internet which in turn got her a reality show deal …

Denis Leary Tells Mel Gibson To Shove It  —  So, Denis Leary was on the Red Sox broadcast last night, and discovered that Boston first baseman Kevin Youkilis was Jewish.  It sent Leary into a "Hey, Mel Gibson, HOW'S REHAB??!!" rant that, while not quite rivaling the famous Rick Sutcliffe …

BEYONCE'S DIET WARNING  —  Beyonce has warned women off her super-thin, super-fast maple syrup diet.  —  And she wants everyone to know that she is very happy indeed with her curves.  —  The diet has caused something of a craze since it was publicised that Beyonce lost a stone in weight in just 10 days.

Jack and Coke  —  Just another fun night out with LL and her mom.  Seriously what is going on here?  A dirty sheet-less bed with LL and a bottle of Jack and a fur coat.  We need answers but first we will create more questions.  WTF is that white stuff on the nightstand?  —  Source

Access Exclusive: Kelly Clarkson Gets Crazy!  —  It's Kelly Clarkson as you've never seen her before.  —  The 24-year-old Kelly was front row on Monday night at Hollywood's Key Club watching the Metal Skool concert with drink in hand.  —  And when the band noticed Kelly in the crowd, they decided to bring her on stage.

Val Kilmer Hangs Ten (Over His Beltline)  —  Sadly, the surfboard Val's carrying in these pictures appears to belong to his eleven-year-old son Jack - it's a shame, really, since Val could really use some exercise himself — maybe Beyonce might be willing to share her maple syrup recipie?

Hollywood A-List Too High For Christina Ricci  —  Christina Ricci feels that her height is the reason for her not getting many big roles in Hollywood.  I'm not sure how Christina can feel this way since she was on two episodes of "Grey's Anatomy" this past season, which were probably the two most talked about episodes of the season.

Elizabeth Vargas Welcomes a Baby Boy  —  ABC news anchor Elizabeth Vargas has given birth to a baby boy, PEOPLE has confirmed.  —  Samuel Wyatt Cohn, who was born on Wednesday with a full head of hair, weighs in at 7 lbs. 9 oz.  —  This is the second child for Vargas and her husband …