Britney snaps over Kevin's six pet sharks  —  Plus: Justin Timberlake's granny says he's not ready for marriage  —  Britney Spears is ruining all of K-Fed's fun.  —  The pop star is making her aspiring rap star hubby, Kevin Federline, get rid of his pet sharks, according to Life & Style.

SLIPPERY WAGON  —  RECENTLY rehabbed oil heir Brandon Davis is hitting the bottle again.  At the launch party for Paris Hilton's debut album at Suite in Miami, a drunken Davis climbed onstage and announced to the crowd, "I wrote a special new song called 'Firecrotch,' and it's for Lindsay Lohan!"

Suspect confesses to JonBenet Ramsey killing  —  Ex-teacher claims death wasn't intentional: 'I loved her'  —  BANGKOK, Thailand (CNN) — An American arrested in Thailand said Thursday he was with child beauty queen JonBenet Ramsey when she died in 1996 and called her death "an accident."

KEIRA'S BAD STYLE  —  Now, we don't mind a bit of individualism when it comes to fashion here at Showbiz HQ.  —  However, we do get a little irked by A-list stars who flout a dress code but get away with it because of who they are.  —  There are many, many times when we want to go to work …

Lohan sexy black listed  —  LAZY LOHAN has been banned from a JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE gig this weekend - because she's bad for his image.  —  Justin is playing a showcase of new album FutureSex/LoveSounds at the House Of Blues in Los Angeles on Saturday.  —  And the snake-hipped singer's management …

Jennifer Aniston Sets the Record Straight: 'I'm Not Engaged!'  —  Jennifer Aniston, in an exclusive interview today with PEOPLE, denied published reports that she and Vince Vaughn are engaged, calling the stories "insane" and saying that "people are getting fed a lot of bull."

The Wonders Of Rehab  —  Kate Moss & Pete Doherty at an impromptu bar gig (is there any other kind with Doherty?) performance in North London.  [ed. note: This bloke goes from "court appearance coat & tie" to "cracked-out sweaty shirtless" faster than ANYONE.]

What Exactly Is Going On Here?  —  Filed Under: Exclusives!  > Lindsay Lohan

'Stalker' a talker  —  Farrell fanatic dumps 1 judge, lectures a 2nd, calls for delay  —  DAILY NEWS WEST COAST BUREAU CHIEF  —  SANTA MONICA, Calif. - The alleged stalker who accosted actor Colin Farrell on "The Tonight Show" stage played lawyer in a bizarre court appearance yesterday …

BEYONCE'S DIET WARNING  —  Beyonce has warned women off her super-thin, super-fast maple syrup diet.  —  And she wants everyone to know that she is very happy indeed with her curves.  —  The diet has caused something of a craze since it was publicised that Beyonce lost a stone in weight in just 10 days.

Chef Batali workin' on a side dish?  —  Celebrity chef Mario Batali has been enjoying la dolce vita this summer, with late-night drinking sessions at the Spotted Pig.  —  During one recent bacchanal, which lasted almost until sunrise, the red-headed restaurateur told his companions he was leaving to "drop in on Courtney Love."

Val Kilmer Hangs Ten (Over His Beltline)  —  Sadly, the surfboard Val's carrying in these pictures appears to belong to his eleven-year-old son Jack - it's a shame, really, since Val could really use some exercise himself — maybe Beyonce might be willing to share her maple syrup recipie?

Denis Leary Tells Mel Gibson To Shove It  —  So, Denis Leary was on the Red Sox broadcast last night, and discovered that Boston first baseman Kevin Youkilis was Jewish.  It sent Leary into a "Hey, Mel Gibson, HOW'S REHAB??!!" rant that, while not quite rivaling the famous Rick Sutcliffe …

Access Exclusive: Kelly Clarkson Gets Crazy!  —  It's Kelly Clarkson as you've never seen her before.  —  The 24-year-old Kelly was front row on Monday night at Hollywood's Key Club watching the Metal Skool concert with drink in hand.  —  And when the band noticed Kelly in the crowd, they decided to bring her on stage.

Blink-182 Rocker & Wife Welcome a Son  —  Former blink-182 singer-guitarist Tom DeLonge and his wife, furniture designer Jennifer, have welcomed their second child, Jonas Rocket DeLonge, the musician's rep tells PEOPLE exclusively.  —  The baby, who was born at 5:03 p.m. on Wednesday in Los Angeles …