It chokes, terrifies, amuses  —  Far better than anyone had any reason to hope or even suspect.  —  Aug. 18, 2006.  —  MOVIE CRITIC  —  Snakes on a Plane  —  Starring Samuel L. Jackson, Julianna Margulies, David Koechner, Bobby Cannavale and Rachel Blanchard.  Directed by David R. Ellis.

Bad Reviews For B-Day  —  by Cynthia Nixon of, "Fox News."  —  Beyonce: New Album 'B'Day,' First Look  —  Imagine if Whitney Houston never had Clive Davis steering her career for those first few important image-defining albums.  The result would have been Beyonce Knowles ' new "B'Day," …

Hottest Videos — Week of 08/13  —  Shanna Moakler won't let her recent nasty break-up from Travis Barker ruin her dance moves.  The former Miss USA shook her groove thang outside of Hyde after her debut on "Dancing with the Stars."  —  The Paris Hilton Posse once again lashed out at Lindsay Lohan with more "Firecrotch" ridicule.

Kevin Federline Aims for the 'Oh My God' Factor  —  Kevin Federline isn't nervous about making his nationally televised debut as a rapper at the Teen Choice Awards on Sunday: In fact, Britney Spears's husband tells PEOPLE he's going for the "Oh-my-God" factor when he closes the show with a song …

Nick Lachey to Auction off Reminders of Marriage to Jessica  —  Nick Lachey is so bitter about his break up with ex-wife Jessica Simpson that he has decided to get rid of some special reminders from their relationship.  The singer has decided to auction items on eBay from their three-year marriage.

Panty Creamer of the Day: Boy George  —  Boy George on day 5 of his community service in NYC on August 18th

Halle Berry Gets Help Walking Up The Stairs  —  Don't you love it when your boy cops a feel as you are walking up the stairs in front of him.  He's trying to come off as this helpful gent, meanwhile we all know the real deal.  Here is Halle Berry getting some help from her boyfriend.

Brody Plays the Field  —  Brody Jenner had a run-in with ex-girlfriend Kristin Cavallari last night at Hyde.  The "Laguna Beach" babe arrived at the hot Hollywood club just minutes before the "Princes of Malibu" star.  —  Jenner has been linked to Nicole Richie after being spotted with the …

Keane pull out of gig at Edinburgh festival  —  Brit award winners Keane have pulled out of their Edinburgh festival gig because frontman, Tom Chaplin, is suffering from exhaustion.  The trio had been due to close this year's T on the Fringe festival with a concert in Princes Street Gardens on August 30.

Nicky Hilton Carries On Family Biz  —  In the not so distant future, if you are in Miami and need a place to stay, look no further than Nicky O. The hotel heiress, Nicky Hilton, is staying in the family business of accommodating wayward travelers.  She is proud of her new venture, and the rest of the famous family "is not involved."

Kate Hudson and Owen Wilsons' morning after  —  We caught these shots of Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson leaving a hotel in Australia during their promo tour for You, Me and Dupree.  At the time it seemed kind of odd that they were hiding their faces and hanging their heads when they were traveling together to promote a film.

Lindsay Lohan Boobs Are Shocking  —  In case you guys didn't know, Lindsay Lohan has real big boobies.  I know it's shocking.  It shocks me everytime she's in a bikini and just a few days ago it shocked me even more when we saw the profile of her breasts.  Now here she is at the Smashbox …

PARTY PRIORITY  —  BEYONCÉ Knowles has pulled out of a promotional tour of England next month for the debut of her new album, "B'Day," supposedly because of the terrorism scare.  But music insiders say the real reason is she doesn't want to miss the lavish 25th birthday bash boyfriend Jay-Z is throwing for her in New York.

They are Such Comedians  —  I'm guessing that Tara Reid and her pals either received these t-shirts at the even they were at or they just came back from a Spencer's gift store.  They think are so funny.  That's what cheap drugs will do to you.  Tara points out that her friend is wearing a tee that says "Been In a Hilton."

Madonna Shows Emotion At Her B-Day Bash  —  The Mirror's 3AM reports on Madonna's emotional tribute to her husband, Guy Ritchie: … Wow.  Since there's plenty of evidence to indicate that Madonna couldn't act her way out of a paper bag, her speech must have been genuine.  Good for the Ritchies, then.

Kelly Clarkson Parties Like a Rock Star  —  If you're watching this at work you should turn the volume down a tad because of the use of naughty words and well, the rock and roll.

Suri is a runt, already needs retouching  —  This is a black-haired runt, so, for all I know, it could be Suri.  —  It's time for the next edition of What Could Be Wrong With Suri.  This time the information comes from someone who was supposedly present for this elusive Vanity Fair photoshoot.

Mean Girls  —  People magazine claims to have Britney Spears on the cover of their new issue (on newsstands now) but I am having a hard time believing this is our dear Britney.  It doesn't even look like her ... what the hell did they do to her face?  —  It kinda sorta looks like her …