WEEK AHEAD: Jessica Hosts Teen Choice Awards  —  Jessica Simpson is the master of ceremonies at the Teen Choice Awards - and her ex, Nick Lachey, will be there, too.  PEOPLE looks at the big night (and the potential drama), plus other events happening in the coming week:

It chokes, terrifies, amuses  —  Far better than anyone had any reason to hope or even suspect.  —  Aug. 18, 2006.  —  MOVIE CRITIC  —  Snakes on a Plane  —  Starring Samuel L. Jackson, Julianna Margulies, David Koechner, Bobby Cannavale and Rachel Blanchard.  Directed by David R. Ellis.

Kevin Federline Aims for the 'Oh My God' Factor  —  Kevin Federline isn't nervous about making his nationally televised debut as a rapper at the Teen Choice Awards on Sunday: In fact, Britney Spears's husband tells PEOPLE he's going for the "Oh-my-God" factor when he closes the show with a song …

Rumor Willis' 18th Birthday Party  —  The stars came out for Rumor Willis' 18th birthday.  Father Bruce was there along with step-dad Ashton Kutcher, Lindsay Lohan and industry giants Courtney Love and her daughter Francis Bean, Michelle Trachtenburg, Danny Masterson, and Soleil Moon Frye.

Hottest Videos — Week of 08/13  —  Shanna Moakler won't let her recent nasty break-up from Travis Barker ruin her dance moves.  The former Miss USA shook her groove thang outside of Hyde after her debut on "Dancing with the Stars."  —  The Paris Hilton Posse once again lashed out at Lindsay Lohan with more "Firecrotch" ridicule.

SHE'S NO. 1!  —  PARIS Hilton has finally broken a world record - and not for skankiness.  The saucy celebutard has made the Guinness Book of World Records for being "the most overrated celeb."  A spokesperson for the book says it based its ranking on magazine polls in which readers voted on their …

Panty Creamer of the Day: Boy George  —  Boy George on day 5 of his community service in NYC on August 18th

ICYMI: Unintentional Anti-Drug Messages  —  Our friends over at CRACKED have compiled a pretty YouTubular list of the "5 Most Obviously Drug-Fueled TV Appearances Ever".  These are really fun to watch, but some glaring omissions include The Hoff on American Idol, Alan Thicke …

MR. DEMI'S WILD OLD DAYS  —  DEMI Moore learned what a relentless horndog Ashton Kutcher used to be when she first bedded down at his home.  The "Punk'd" party boy tells the September Details that his doorbell would ring in the middle of the night with legions of hot young admirers looking for a good time …

BADASSSSSSSS  —  INTERNET PHENOMENON "SNAKES" TIPS THE SCALES  —  TO HORRIBLY GOOD  —  Rating:  —  I saw something stomach-churningly scary at the Lincoln Square in Manhattan Thursday night: the inside of the men's room.  I also saw "Snakes on a Plane."

Keane pull out of gig at Edinburgh festival  —  Brit award winners Keane have pulled out of their Edinburgh festival gig because frontman, Tom Chaplin, is suffering from exhaustion.  The trio had been due to close this year's T on the Fringe festival with a concert in Princes Street Gardens on August 30.

Halle Berry Gets Help Walking Up The Stairs  —  Don't you love it when your boy cops a feel as you are walking up the stairs in front of him.  He's trying to come off as this helpful gent, meanwhile we all know the real deal.  Here is Halle Berry getting some help from her boyfriend.

PARTY PRIORITY  —  BEYONCÉ Knowles has pulled out of a promotional tour of England next month for the debut of her new album, "B'Day," supposedly because of the terrorism scare.  But music insiders say the real reason is she doesn't want to miss the lavish 25th birthday bash boyfriend Jay-Z is throwing for her in New York.

Brody Plays the Field  —  Brody Jenner had a run-in with ex-girlfriend Kristin Cavallari last night at Hyde.  The "Laguna Beach" babe arrived at the hot Hollywood club just minutes before the "Princes of Malibu" star.  —  Jenner has been linked to Nicole Richie after being spotted with the …

Nicky Hilton Carries On Family Biz  —  In the not so distant future, if you are in Miami and need a place to stay, look no further than Nicky O. The hotel heiress, Nicky Hilton, is staying in the family business of accommodating wayward travelers.  She is proud of her new venture, and the rest of the famous family "is not involved."

Suri is a runt, already needs retouching  —  This is a black-haired runt, so, for all I know, it could be Suri.  —  It's time for the next edition of What Could Be Wrong With Suri.  This time the information comes from someone who was supposedly present for this elusive Vanity Fair photoshoot.

The Odd Couple  —  What are Michael Stipe and Michael Douglas doing together or is that CZJ without her wig and make-up.  Anyway, this odd couple spent some time together and grabbed an ice cream cone on the Italian island of Ponzo. … WTF?!  [Hello]