Kevin Federline's TV rap debut panned  —  NEW YORK - Kevin Federline's TV debut as a rapper is getting derided as a not-ready-for-prime-time disaster by critics in cyberspace and the hip-hop community.  —  On Sunday, Federline — also known as K-Fed and Mr. Britney Spears — performed his new single …

From the pen of Lindsay's dad  —  Prison inmate Michael Lohan is dipping his toe in the shark-infested waters of editorial cartooning.  —  Lindsay Lohan's dad - serving time at the Collins Correctional Facility outside Buffalo - has just sent Lowdown an epic drawing depicting his troubled relationship …

The Three Amigos: Trouble In Paradise?  —  Could it be splitsville for Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong, celebdom's most visible new BFFs?  A report today in the New York Daily News' Ben Widdicombe says that Jake Gyllenhaal has edged out Matt for the plum role of playing Lance …

Brad Pitt is smoking hot.  Brad Pitt smoking is not.  —  Why does Brad Pitt smoke?  Is he addicted and/or does he think it looks cool?  He could eat his boogers and it would look cool, but smoking is just a nasty habit.  It's not like he's succumbing to peer pressure on set since he's hanging …

Brittany Murphy, Fiancé End Engagement  —  Brittany Murphy and Joe Macaluso, engaged since last New Year's Eve, have broken off their engagement, PEOPLE has learned exclusively.  —  The two "have amicably ended their engagement.  They remain close friends and wish each other much happiness," a rep for Murphy tells PEOPLE.

'JACKASS' TUNE SLIMES JESSICA  —  ONLY a jackass would stoop to crude sexual innuendo about Jessica Simpson - and that's exactly what Chris Pontius, one of Johnny Knoxville's doofy daredevil stuntmen in the upcoming "Jackass: Number Two," has done.  —  A source tells us Pontius has penned …

Officials say Madonna's liquid plan is all wet  —  Plus: Ashton Kutcher knows his place, as Demi Moore's accessory  —  When Madonna isn't busy being crucified in concert or horseback riding in the English countryside, she wants to use the powers of Kabbalah to rid the world of nuclear waste.

Live Rattlesnakes Released In 'Snakes On A Plane' Theater  —  Two live diamondback rattlesnakes were released in an Arizona movie theater during a showing of the new film "Snakes on a Plane," according to Local 6 News.  —  Authorities said pranksters released the young venomous rattlesnakes …

Break  —  Talk about bringing sexy back (and now, thanks to Justin's song we're gonna be using that phrase for quite some time now), here are amazing new pictures of Jude Law playing a little game of cricket with some friends on the beach over the weekend ...

ALL EYES ON 'SNL' - AGAIN  —  AUDITIONS NEXT WEEK  —  WHAT's going on be hind the scenes at "Saturday Night Live" this month may be more dramatic than any thing you'll see on the two prime-time shows starting this fall based on the famed late-night comedy.

James Blunt Gets His Rocks Off  —  Singer James Blunt has purchased a gun that shoots rocks at his fans.  This is no stunt that you will see at a concert of the 32 year- old Brit.  He has purchased the weapon to scare away crazed fans from his holiday retreat in Ibiza.

Kate Hudson Pulls Out of UK Premiere  —  Kate Hudson may be rearranging her plans while on her cell phone.  She has pulled out of the UK premiere of You, Me, and Dupree to avoid any awkwardness surrounding the recent announcement of her divorce.  Better yet, to avoid any speculation about her possible affair with her co-star, Owen.

Natalie Portman is a Brunette Again, and Still Not Wearing a Bra  —  There are a lot of reasons I like Natalie Portman, not least of which is the fact that she rarely seems to wear a bra.  It's not a big thing, but there is definitely something sexy about a girl who doesn't.

What the Hell Happened to Amanda Bynes?  —  Okay, first of all, I'm not calling Amanda Bynes fat.  I'm well aware that doing so would be extremely premature, unfair, and potentially libelous.  However, I will ask you, what the hell happened to Amanda Bynes.

Nick and Vanessa off to NYC  —  Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo took their love to the skies yesterday as they left Los Angeles and headed to New York City.  If I were Nick I would not be wearing camouflage pants to the airport at the moment, it probably sends the wrong message to security.

Oops!  Pete's otherwise engaged  —  Did supermodel-loving junkie Pete Doherty miss his own wedding Saturday?  —  His girlfriend, Kate Moss, flew 14 close friends, including her brother Nick, to a resort in Bali last week, causing widespread speculation the couple was planning to get married.

ICYMI: Lohan's Family Circus  —  (Click image to view larger size.)  —  Jail can be a pretty boring place, which explains Michael Lohan's bizarre foray into satirical cartooning.  Sitting helplessly in his cell, Lindsay Lohan's daddy must rely on the power of his mighty pen if he hopes …

Paris Hilton: My Album's So Good, 'I Cry'  —  Paris Hilton is releasing her album Paris on Tuesday, though for the 25-year-old hotel heiress, socialite and star of The Simple Life, making music is nothing new, she reveals.  —  "When I was little," she tells Blender magazine for its September issue …

Hulk Hogan is Still Yellow  —  It must suck to be Hulk Hogan's fluffer.  Somebody got him ready to go out and sport his appropriately colored banana hammock and you know it wasn't that wife of his.  She looks more like Rex Kwan Do's wife, Starla, in Napoleon Dynamite than anything resembling …

Is Ben Affleck's Movie Curse Over?  —  For a while there, it seemed like everything Ben Affleck touched turned to crap.  But things may be looking up for the former member of a little something we like to call "Bennifer."  In his new movie, "Hollywoodland," Ben takes on the role …