The Excremental Suri  —  We may not know what Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' daughter looks like on the outside, but her insides are about to become a little less mysterious.  —  Turning "fine art" into what may be the most subjective term in the world, a bronze sculpture entitled Suri's Bronzed Baby Poop …

John Mayer Infects Jessica Simpson!!!  —  It doesn't take a genius to put two and two together and get ONE really interesting non-coincidence!  —  As we reported earlier, Jessica Simpson and fellow musician John Mayer are a hot new couple.  —  The two aren't confirming their relationship just yet...because they can't!

SET UP, FED UP  —  GWEN Stefani has had it with the MTV Video Music Awards.  The "No Doubt" cutie is said to be "boycotting" tomorrow's show because of the shoddy treatment she got last year.  "She had a ton of nominations and was under the impression she would be taking home at least one award," our insider said.

Brit's Kev to play sponger  —  KEVIN Federline is to appear on TV — as the deadbeat husband of a celebrity.  —  Britney Spears' hubby will be seen in three episodes of ITV4's Entourage.  —  The HBO series focuses on a hot young Hollywood actor and his freeloading mates.

Jennifer Aniston, The Nike Swoosh and The Super Bowl?  —  Jennifer Aniston certainly has the toned body to promote physical fitness.  The Hollywood actress know to many as "America's Sweetheart" just won a strange scientific study where her legs were dubbed "ideal"  —  Fair enough - she has great gams.

Lachey, DiScala Buy Basketball Team  —  Nick Lachey and A.J. DiScala have long been friends, and now they're business partners in the perfect venture: The two sports fans are starting a basketball team.  —  They, along with a group of celebrity owners, on Tuesday announced the formation of …

John Travolta's Kiss  —  Mmm.  Someone's going to have to take the Scientology homo-detox course again.  —  (Image source)

Matt Leinart To Be a Dad  —  Football star Matt Leinart is going to be father.  The Arizona Cardinals quarterback and USC women's basketball player Brynn Cameron are expecting a baby in the fall.  —  Leinart, one of PEOPLE's Most Beautiful People this year, graduated from USC in December 2005 …

Michelle Trachtenberg's Ass: Coming to a Theatre Near You  —  So, I need to admit something.  I don't always pay as close attention as I should.  While reading the blogs I read everyday, I'll generally skim the content for anything that pops out at me, but I don't usually go through everything word for word.

Jessica Biel's Back To Butch  —  It looks like Jessica Biel is done promoting her new movie The Illusionist because she's back to being a boy.  It's too bad because she was looking so good as a girl that I almost forgot the days when she could have treated me like a little bitch if she wanted to.

Baby talk: Are Kidman photos being doctored?  —  Plus: Looks like Hilary Swank has found a new love  —  Are photo agencies manipulating Nicole Kidman's pictures to make her look pregnant?  —  That's the suggestion being made by the "Stepford Wives" star's rep - after a mag paid $20,000 …

Haley Joel Mugs for Cop Cam  —  Haley Joel Osment's photo op at a cop shop earlier this month proves one thing — celebs have figured out how to take a good mugshot.  —  Osment was arrested on August 18, a month after he crashed his 1995 Saturn into a brick pillar in Los Angeles.

Lindsay's dad speaks out on his pop art  —  Prison inmate Michael Lohan has finally provided his authoritative take on his cartoon (below) about his troubled relationship with daughter Lindsay.  —  In the week since Lowdown published it, the drawing has inspired much media speculation and even a parody or two.

Vince Trims Down  —  Vince looks like he is really getting into shape.  Perhaps a coffee after a workout is a new super diet.  Maybe he is losing the weight to prepare for his upcoming wedding that they are denying.  Who knows but we likey this version of Vince.  —  Source

Jacko Calls Janet "Fat Butt"  —  Janet Jackson has confessed that her sister, Michael Jackson, made her life a living hell when they were growing up.  She (Michael) constantly teased Janet for being a fat ass. … Janet recently lost a ton of weight [by having it sucked out with a wet vac] in preparation for her album release.

Liv Tyler in Bed With 'Strangers'  —  Liv Tyler has signed to star in the suburban suspense thriller "Strangers."  The film is about a couple who live in remote area, who are targeted by three dangerous masked strangers.  So I'm guessing that the film is a thriller.

Rocco Ritchie  —  Madonna: 'Papa Don't Teach' … The family source added that Madonna "likes to have her children with her — otherwise she wouldn't see much of them.  They already have schools in London and Los Angeles which they float between."  —  Above is Madonna's children Rocco Ritchie …

Idea of the Day: Yahoo Music Gets Personal  —  Jessica Simpson Song Promotion Taps Into User-Created Media Space  —  NEW YORK (Adage.com) — Attention Breeze, Kimball and Zena — Jessica Simpson is singing your song.  Literally.  —  In what might be termed a first in "addressable" …

Lucy Lawless: Celebrity Duets  —  Celebrity Duets Hits Low Note  —  Fox claimed the top spot last night in the coveted 18 to 49 age group thanks to Celebrity Duets.  But wasn't it a snoozefest?  Did anyone else catch last night's premiere?  —  I was really into it when the gorgeous …

Viacom to Cruise: Once You're Dead You Stay Dead  —  Spike TV, Viacom's network for straight guys who can't count up to 45, will be airing former Viacom employee Tom Cruise's opus Top Gun this week.  Again.  How's the channel approaching it?  —  Ouch.  We can't wait to see how they treat Magnolia.

Katie Couric 'Loses' 20 Lbs.  - Digitally  —  Vanity, thy name is not Katie Couric.  —  The incoming CBS Evening News anchor is taking in good stride articles in both the New York Post and the city's Daily News that show a photo of her in CBS promotional magazine Watch! …