EXCLUSIVE: Lindsay Victim of Major Robbery  —  TMZ has learned that Lindsay Lohan was robbed at Heathrow Airport in London this afternoon.  Scotland Yard tells TMZ a "theft of a bag at Heathrow Airport was reported to police by a 20-year-old woman."  —  They continue to say iIt is alleged …

Paris in Cuffs  —  TMZ has obtained the first photos of Paris Hilton in handcuffs moments after her DUI bust early Thursday morning.  —  Even after Paris' hands were locked firmly behind her back, one of the arresting officers continued to keep her arm in a tight grasp.

Kevin: Britney Craves Chipped Ice  —  With their second child together due later this month, Kevin Federline told Ellen DeGeneres on her eponymous talk show Wednesday that wife Britney Spears's cravings are "not too bad" compared to a year ago, before the birth of son Sean Preston.

Lionel Richie gets the skinny on Nicole's weight  —  Plus: Hilton says she didn't make out with Barker, it was his friend  —  Lionel Richie says he's so worried about daughter Nicole's dramatic weight loss that he took her to a doctor, who assured him she's not anorexic.

Shanna: I Was 100% Faithful to Travis  —  Last month, Shanna Moakler's husband and Meet the Barkers costar Travis Barker filed for divorce, charging that the former Miss U.S.A. had cheated on him and neglected their kids.  —  But Moakler, 30, tells PEOPLE in its new issue that she's a good mom …

No. 16: Brad Pitt's Sketchbook  —  (My List) Fifteen Things I Think Everyone Should Know  —  The Drug War  —  I'll agree that drugs are harmful, but we spend $40 billion a year on the drug war and $8 billion a year incarcerating people, 25 percent of whom are in there for drugs.

Bringing Whitney Back  —  Desperation finds a saving grace in J. Records.  Clive Davis is picking up Whitney and brushing off the bong resin in an attempt to aid her comeback.  Despite her crack appeal, Davis and Houston have already picked six tracks for the upcoming album.

Courtney Needs to Lay Off the Plastic!  —  When I first saw these pics of Courtney Love at the Suicide Girls 5th Anniversary party last night, I immediately thought of this creepy fetish website that's into fake women masks.  Like these masks look more natural than Courtney.  WTH did this ho do to her face?

Pop star spree!  —  Poised for her debut on 'Fashion Rocks' tomorrow, Rihanna takes us shopping  —  Like every other teenage girl on the planet, R&B singer Rihanna likes nothing better than going shopping.  —  The 18-year-old needs no excuse to hit stores such as Barneys New York, where she picked her fall fashion favorites.

A conversation with Kylie  —  Superstar Minogue, winning her battle with cancer, chats about struggling, surviving and her hunky boyfriend  —  Superstar Australian singer Kylie Minogue has been out of the spotlight for more than a year battling breast cancer.

BEN AFFLECK TEACHES MASTER CLASS IN HOW TO PICK UP FRENCH-CANADIAN CHICKS  —  We don't have a lot of background on the above video (apologies if you've seen it before, but it's new and amazing to us), in which Ben Affleck plops Montreal TV host Anne-Marie Losique in his lap during an interview …

K-Fed Loses Control On Ellen  —  I don't know how much Ellen owes Britney exactly, but obviously it's enough for her to have agreed to let Kevin Federline "perform" on her show.  I really don't know what else to say except that it's going to be pretty much what you expected.

How Many Men Does It Take To Get Posh Out of a Boat?  —  Look at all these dudes trying to help her skinny ass out of that boat in Venice today.  I mean a light breeze could carry that ho to safe ground.  Someone on the boat should've just blown her way and she would've been halfway down the block.

Letterman inks CBS deal for 4 more years  —  NEW YORK - David Letterman is planning to outlast Jay Leno in late-night television.  CBS Corp. and Letterman have agreed to a four-year contract extension that will keep the comic on the "Late Show" through the 2009-10 television season …

Suri Cruise Conspiracy Rumor of the Day … Conspiracy Theory [Janet Charlton]

Tori's Ex-husband Is Ready to Dish The Dirt  —  Charlie Shanian, who was married to Tori Spelling, is ready to talk about the breakup of his marriage and his feelings about the former "90210" actress.  The actor who was wed to horse face for only a year, is set to talk about the painful subject on a new self-help TV show.

Natalie Portman Is Boring  —  While Lindsay Lohan is flashing her crotch, and Paris Hilton is crying over not getting into a club, Natalie Portman is visiting war victims.  —  It's boring.  —  Doesn't Natalie know that all people want to read about is rocky relationships, drunken debauchery, and the all-important nipple slip?