Naomi assault rap 9th in 8 years  —  COPS were quizzing supermodel Naomi Campbell over an alleged assault yesterday — her NINTH rap in eight years.  —  She returned to a central London police station this morning but has been rebailed until December.  —  The volatile model has a long list …

Kevin Federline is a legend in his own mind  —  Plus: A 'Posh' wedding for Katie Holmes  —  Kevin Federline, the most underrated performer in his field.  Whatever field that may be.  —  The world may not yet know that Kevin Federline is a major star - but he seems quite convinced of it.

Lindsay Lohan Still Thinks She Has Talent  —  I hate to have to break it to Lindsay Lohan, but the reason people are interested in her is not because of her talent.  That couldn't be the reason, because she has no talent.  What she has is big breasts, a pretty face (sometimes), and the uncanny ability to do and say the dumbest things.

Father still worried by Madonna adoption  —  LILONGWE, Malawi - The father of the 13-month-old Malawian boy Madonna is trying to adopt said he is afraid criticism of her plans would persuade the pop star to drop her efforts.  —  "I am afraid Madonna may get angry and frustrated and decide …

Angelina set to adopt another baby  —  Angelina Jolie is adopting an Indian baby to add to her growing international brood, according to US reports.  —  Sources say the big-hearted actress and partner Brad Pitt have already applied to adopt a tot from an Indian orphanage.

Perez to Photog: You Don't Know Sh**  —  The famous gossipista Perez Hilton got into it last night with a paparazzo who accused the blogger of pilfering photos.  —  The incident occurred outside an Xbox 360 party at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery.  The photographer confronted Perez, accusing him of stealing photographs for his blog.

Politician: Anna Nicole Unfit for the Bahamas  —  Anna Nicole Smith has already been ordered to vacate her Bahamas home by Oct. 31, and now a politician has questioned whether she's fit to be a resident of the country.  —  Hubert Ingraham, head of the main opposition Free National Movement …

Kevin Federline: Criticism's a Bum Rap  —  Kevin Federline has gotten his share of criticism, but the aspiring rapper takes it all in stride.  —  "If you want to hate me, cool, hate me," Federline, 28, tells PEOPLE in its new issue.  "You know why?  Because all it's going to do is help me."

OMG, how sporty: Mario Lopez  —  I'm going out of town until Tuesday, so you will see fewer postings until then, but don't worry.  I won't leave you completely dry.  Make sure to keep checking in for some tasty bits, and I will be back next week in full force.

Axed exec the roast of the town  —  It wasn't enough of an indignity that his boss, Sumner Redstone, drop-kicked him out of his CEO's office at Viacom last summer.  Yesterday at the Pierre, Tom Freston had to relive the whole ordeal when "friends" honored the unemployed exec.

TEARS FOR PITT FLICK  —  THERE are no hard feelings between Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Pitt, judging by the raves Paltrow heaped on her former boyfriend after the Cinema Society screening of Pitt's new movie, "Babel."  Paltrow said she was so moved she had to go home, cry and hug her children.

Lance Bass' Boyfriend Not Making Friends with New Bio  —  Former N*SYNC star, Lance Bance and his boyfriend, Amazing Race star, Reichen Lehmkuhl are facing down death threats after the release of Lehmkuhl's memoir detailing his abuse in the military.  —  The book, Here's What We'll Say …

Cheap and easy celebrity costume  —  Here's an easy costume idea... "Celebrity Baby Smuggler" - dark wig or scarf, large sunglasses, doll with a blanket drapped over it, head down.  And it's timely... Angelina, Britney, Madonna, Katie, Gwyneth, Jennifer, Gwen... 2006 has been the year of celebrity baby hiding.

Kournikova's Crystals Shine  —  Swarovski crystals are used to bling any and everything these days.  Former tennis glamour girl Anna Kournikova looked mighty slim and traim as she helped promote the new Swarovski Shop yesterday afternoon in Barcelona, Spain.

Pete Doherty to Wed Kate Moss 'Soon'  —  Doherty and Moss on Sept. 25  —  Supermodel Kate Moss intends to marry her boyfriend Pete Doherty, according to the British singer.  —  Doherty, the lead singer in the band Babyshambles, was noticed by fans walking in central London's Tottenham Court Road …

Fans want 'Paris' killed  —  POOR old PARIS HILTON.  —  The socialite has topped a grisly new poll as the celebrity film fans would most like to see DIE in a horror movie.  —  However I'm pretty sure the wannabe singer/actress will take the news as a compliment.

BREAKING EXCLUSIVE: Leto's Blog Hatred Escalates to Violence - Stereogum Attacked!  —  Amidst eye-witness reports of Jared Leto's confrontation with Elijah Wood at last night's mtvU Woodies awards show, we have just received an EXCLUSIVE account of yet another violent Leto incident, this one involving our friend Scott Stereogum.