POLE PULVERIZES LOHAN THIGHS  —  LINDSAY Lohan is suffering for her art - that is, suffering bruises from dancing on a stripper's pole to prepare for her role as a topless dancer in her new movie, "I Know Who Killed Me."  —  Lohan, 20, who sometimes forgets her underwear in real life …

Are Brit & Paris Fighting Over Fat Elvis?  —  Does a human made out of lard and sweat have to do with the break-up of Paris Hilton and Britney Spears?  Sources say that Paris became jealous that Britney was becoming so close to Brandon Davis.  Apparently, Paris has told all her friends to push Britney out of their circle.

MEL'S SECRET DAUGHTER  —  Painter Carmel Sloane claims the millionaire actor made her mum pregnant on a mattress in the back of his car before he was famous 30 YEARS ago.  —  And now her 10-year-old son Jordan bears a striking resemblance to his secret GRANDAD.  —  Carmel, 29, said: "I'm not doing it for his money.

The sound of motherhood is music to Stefani's ears  —  If you're not a fan of Broadway or Hollywood musicals, you might have heard Gwen Stefani's current single, Wind It Up, and wondered: What's up with the yodeling?  —  Those in the know immediately recognized the reference to The Lonely Goatherd, a song from The Sound of Music.

'IDOLS' FOR HIRE  —  TAKING REQUESTS: YOU NAME A TUNE, THEY NAME A PRICE  —  Call it Rent-an-Idol.  —  For the right price, "American Idol" castoffs, finalists and even champs will pay a visit to your wedding, Sweet 16 or bar mitzvah.  —  "The average going rate for an 'American Idol' finalist …

Celibate Paris declares 'sex is sacred'  —  Plus, Michael Jackson says sayonara to Tokyo appearance  —  Partying heiress Paris Hilton claims she's been celibate lately.  —  Hilton — who reportedly has been dumped by her panty-less best friend, Britney Spears — had declared …

GALLO DOUBLES PRICE FOR SEX  —  SLEEPING with Vincent Gallo is getting to be a pricey proposition.  —  Last February, the outrageous actor-director offered to "fulfill the wish, dream, or fantasy of any naturally born female" for a "modest fee of $50,000 plus expenses."

Oprah Gets Real  —  Well, as "real" as reality television can be, I guess.  The Great O is broadening her television horizons into the land of prime-time TV with the introduction of two new reality series, according to Reuters: … Oprah Winfrey reality series headed to prime time [Reuters]

Kingston Is...A Punk-Rocker!  —  Yes, Maddox rocked it first, but Gwen Stefani & Gavin Rossdale's son Kingston is just as adorable in his baby-mohawk!  Gwen and Kingston went out for a little shopping on Sunset before hitting the Ivy for some lunch.  The only thing more adorable than this pair would be if daddy Gavin had joined them!

Paris Going Greek With Wedding To Stavros  —  Los Angeles, CA (AHN) - Paris Hilton almost went through 2006 without getting engaged but the party loving socialite has reportedly confirmed wedding rumors.  —  According to Britain's Daily Star newspaper, Hilton has revealed that she will be marrying …

THERE SHE GOES, MESS USA  —  TRUMP EVICTS SCANDAL BABE  —  Hard-partying Miss USA Tara Conner was booted out of her ritzy Trump Place apartment and fled the Big Apple to her tiny Kentucky hometown with her reputation in shambles, as reports swirled yesterday that her runner-up had already been tapped to replace her.

Oscars, Golden Globes cancel gift baskets  —  When the Hollywood ceremonies for the Golden Globe Awards and the Oscars take place next year, those in attendance will not be given the typical gift baskets.  —  The two awards shows confirmed that in 2007 the extravagant gift baskets …

Bottom Line: Well, whadda ya know?  It looks like you can teach an old underdog new tricks.  —  First 007 gets back to basics, now, 30 years after the Italian Stallion came out swinging, Sylvester Stallone has returned to Rocky's humble roots with an unplugged edition that emerges as one of this season's more pleasant surprises.

Mary-Kate's Shocking Transformation  —  You know what???  —  We f**king love it!!!  —  Mary-Kate Olsen unveiled a daring new platinum do in Los Angeles over the weekend, and it is fierce Fierce FIERCE.  —  This is high fashion!  —  The stylish twin has also been refining her wardrobe/look …

Apprentice's Bill Rancic, E!'s Giuliana DePandi To Wed  —  Former Apprentice winner Bill Rancic popped the question to E! News anchor Giuliana DePandi Friday night - and she said yes.  —  "I thought I was dreaming," DePandi tells PEOPLE.  "It was the most amazing moment of my entire life.