POLE PULVERIZES LOHAN THIGHS  —  LINDSAY Lohan is suffering for her art - that is, suffering bruises from dancing on a stripper's pole to prepare for her role as a topless dancer in her new movie, "I Know Who Killed Me."  —  Lohan, 20, who sometimes forgets her underwear in real life …

Are Brit & Paris Fighting Over Fat Elvis?  —  Does a human made out of lard and sweat have to do with the break-up of Paris Hilton and Britney Spears?  Sources say that Paris became jealous that Britney was becoming so close to Brandon Davis.  Apparently, Paris has told all her friends to push Britney out of their circle.

MEL'S SECRET DAUGHTER  —  Painter Carmel Sloane claims the millionaire actor made her mum pregnant on a mattress in the back of his car before he was famous 30 YEARS ago.  —  And now her 10-year-old son Jordan bears a striking resemblance to his secret GRANDAD.  —  Carmel, 29, said: "I'm not doing it for his money.

Celibate Paris declares 'sex is sacred'  —  Plus, Michael Jackson says sayonara to Tokyo appearance  —  Partying heiress Paris Hilton claims she's been celibate lately.  —  Hilton — who reportedly has been dumped by her panty-less best friend, Britney Spears — had declared …

The sound of motherhood is music to Stefani's ears  —  If you're not a fan of Broadway or Hollywood musicals, you might have heard Gwen Stefani's current single, Wind It Up, and wondered: What's up with the yodeling?  —  Those in the know immediately recognized the reference to The Lonely Goatherd, a song from The Sound of Music.

GALLO DOUBLES PRICE FOR SEX  —  SLEEPING with Vincent Gallo is getting to be a pricey proposition.  —  Last February, the outrageous actor-director offered to "fulfill the wish, dream, or fantasy of any naturally born female" for a "modest fee of $50,000 plus expenses."

'IDOLS' FOR HIRE  —  TAKING REQUESTS: YOU NAME A TUNE, THEY NAME A PRICE  —  Call it Rent-an-Idol.  —  For the right price, "American Idol" castoffs, finalists and even champs will pay a visit to your wedding, Sweet 16 or bar mitzvah.  —  "The average going rate for an 'American Idol' finalist …

Kingston Is...A Punk-Rocker!  —  Yes, Maddox rocked it first, but Gwen Stefani & Gavin Rossdale's son Kingston is just as adorable in his baby-mohawk!  Gwen and Kingston went out for a little shopping on Sunset before hitting the Ivy for some lunch.  The only thing more adorable than this pair would be if daddy Gavin had joined them!

Paris Going Greek With Wedding To Stavros  —  Los Angeles, CA (AHN) - Paris Hilton almost went through 2006 without getting engaged but the party loving socialite has reportedly confirmed wedding rumors.  —  According to Britain's Daily Star newspaper, Hilton has revealed that she will be marrying …

Oprah Gets Real  —  Well, as "real" as reality television can be, I guess.  The Great O is broadening her television horizons into the land of prime-time TV with the introduction of two new reality series, according to Reuters: … Oprah Winfrey reality series headed to prime time [Reuters]

DITCH SEX-MAD MEL?  HE MUST BE OFF HIS EDDIE  —  That's the verdict of Jason Steele, the one-time Dreamboy stripper who spent ten bed-rocking months with former Spice Girl Mel.  —  "Eddie's a fool letting her go," said Jason.  "She's dynamite in bed and knows every trick.  Eddie has really lost out.

Fired Editor's Remarks Said to Have Provoked Murdoch  —  Rupert Murdoch personally ordered the dismissal of Judith Regan, the publisher of a widely criticized O. J. Simpson book, after he heard reports of a heated conversation Ms. Regan had with a company lawyer on Friday that included comments …

Oscars, Golden Globes cancel gift baskets  —  When the Hollywood ceremonies for the Golden Globe Awards and the Oscars take place next year, those in attendance will not be given the typical gift baskets.  —  The two awards shows confirmed that in 2007 the extravagant gift baskets …

Bottom Line: Well, whadda ya know?  It looks like you can teach an old underdog new tricks.  —  First 007 gets back to basics, now, 30 years after the Italian Stallion came out swinging, Sylvester Stallone has returned to Rocky's humble roots with an unplugged edition that emerges as one of this season's more pleasant surprises.

Mary-Kate's Shocking Transformation  —  You know what???  —  We f**king love it!!!  —  Mary-Kate Olsen unveiled a daring new platinum do in Los Angeles over the weekend, and it is fierce Fierce FIERCE.  —  This is high fashion!  —  The stylish twin has also been refining her wardrobe/look …