LOHAN BACK IN POLE POSITION  —  LINDSAY Lohan got down and dirty at Scores West for three hours early yesterday - jumping onstage to do a wild bump-and-grind, then ushering topless dancers into the bathroom to apologize for recently calling them all "whores."

Eva Longoria's Lessons in a Romance Language  —  Eva Longoria may not be a housewife, but she is desperate for her France-raised fiancé Tony Parker to improve her French skills.  —  "He's terrible.  He always wants to speak English," Longoria, 31, told PEOPLE Thursday while in London to open the annual Harrods Winter Sale.

Rosie O'Donnell Compares Donald Trump to a 'Pimp'  —  The holiday truce between Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump has come to an abrupt end, with her comparing him to "a pimp" and him calling her "a degenerate."  —  The war of words exploded anew after O'Donnell posted a message on her blog on Wednesday …

Pam Anderson Starts Dating Again  —  Not that long after announcing her divorce from Kid Rock, Pam Anderson has decided to get back on the hunt for Mr. Right.  According to the New York Post's Page Six: … NO SECOND DATE [Page Six |  New York Post]  —  (Image source)

Jake Gyllenhaal, volunteer firefighter  —  The Gyllenhaal family Christmas went a little different than probably expected.  Early Wednesday morning a fire broke out at the inn in which the family was staying.  No one was injured in the blaze, but beyond that Jake was happy to lend a hand in the rescue efforts.

Bonaduce fights war on the home front  —  Danny Bonaduce got on the phone yesterday to discuss the latest round of his bizarre feud with 9/11 conspiracy theorists.  —  It started Dec. 7, when he granted a street interview to a video crew that happened on him by chance.

Jennifer Aniston and Reggie Miller Just Say No  —  Jennifer Aniston doesn't want to do it.  Neither does former Indiana Pacers guard Reggie Miller.  Though the show has sparked ratings and has seen some fairly wild controversies and romance some folks just aren't quite ready to commit …

Victoria Beckham Credits Her Figure to Strict Diet, Not Disorder  —  Victoria Beckham credits control, not an eating disorder, with keeping her figure so thin.  —  "I eat really healthy, I love Japanese food, lots of fish, any sort of fish, any sort of vegetable, lots of fruit, that kind of thing …

NICOLE IS HALF AN INCH WIDER THAN MARY-KATE...  good evening everyone!  so yeah it's looking like mary-kate olsen is becoming too thin once again (she did a stint in rehab back in '04) it does suck for her to be splashed all over the tabloids but if the 'attention' does help to spotlight …

This Pamela Anderson Upskirt was Unavoidable  —  In terms of novelty, Pamela Anderson upskirt pictures don't rank very high, because it is Pamela Anderson after all.  But what they lack in originality, they more than make up for in terms of sheer inevitability.

TO RESCUE KATIE  —  RICK Kaplan, the veteran network news exec who most recently ran MSNBC, is rumored to be coming to CBS News to help boost Katie Couric's ratings on the "Evening News."  After a brief stint on top of the ratings when she launched in September, Couric has been mired in third place …

Rachel and Adam not broken up?  It's a holiday miracle  —  Weeks ago, I relayed the sad, sad news that Rachel Bilson and Adam Brody called it quits.  Since then I have been spiraling down a dark road of booze, pills, and french fries, despite never having any actual confirmation from either party.

Is Tara Reidy for Big Brother?  —  American Pie actress Tara Reid has been topping up her tan before her widely expected launch into the Celebrity Big Brother house next week.  —  Soaking up the sun on the celebrity haven of St Barts, Reid seemed to be completely over her fears of revealing …

Rachael Ray would smoke the original kitchen queen Martha Stewart in a popularity contest, discovered Parade Magazine.  —  Britney Spear's over-the-top antics have taken their toll on the fading pop star: Her fans are fleeing!  —  Lindsay Lohan, who has been attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings lately …

The Devil Likes Attention  —  FASHION magazines, once notoriously discreet about infighting and back stabbing, would now like to invite you to watch every time an editor throws a high heel at an underling (when, you might say, a devil gets its pitchfork).  —  Last week, Anna Wintour …

Victoria Beckham's nipples have minds of their own  —  Victoria Beckham and her wonky robo tits went to dinner with husband David last night in London.  What is going on with celebrities and their breasts?  Britney, Meg, and now Posh.  On a non-breast side note; David needs to put his foot down and stop letting Victoria dress him.

REVEALED!  BEHIND THE SCENES OF MTV's HOT NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY!  —  MTV has struck gold this year, hosting New York City's ultimate New Year's Eve party!  —  The theme of this year's party is "MTV Goes Gold," and the party's organizers will have the fashion police out in full force at the bash …

Britney Ditched by Her Biggest Fan(site)  —  Britney Spears is losing the respect of even her most ardent fans - and now one of the Britster's most popular fan sites is shutting down.  —  WorldofBritney.com, a faithful and well-visited chronicler of all things Britney since 2000 …

Director Tim Burton's Ex Sues Him for Fraud  —  Director Tim Burton has been sued for fraud by his former lover, Lisa Marie, according to court documents obtained by PEOPLE.  —  In a suit filed Wednesday in Los Angeles Superior Court, Marie, who describes herself as an actress, model …

NFL Pro Kicker as Smooth as Manly Silk Down There  —  Despite the proliferation of dainty ladies, and hellbound homosexuals around here, we occasionally report on the world of sports.  Ok, we report on the world of sports when some drunk football player is dumb enough to take naked pictures …

Clay Aiken: American A-Hole?  —  Clay Aiken's diva-like behavior has got one former fan pissed off.  The former "American Idol" star is being accused of booting a 15-year-old boy off of a concert line-up simply because he wasn't festive enough.  —  Joshua Willard won a North Carolina singing competition …

Sly Stallone: 'Every Day Was an Advil Day' Doing Rocky  —  Against all odds, Sylvester Stallone is back in the ring at age 60 - and, perhaps even more astounding, Rocky Balboa, the sixth installment in his Rocky series, has gotten warm reviews.  —  But much has changed for both Stallone …