Joe to Jess: You Bettah Work!  —  Pimp Daddy Joe Simpson is pissed that his paycheck, er, daughter Jessica, turned down a paying gig to party with John Mayer instead!  —  A source tells TMZ the family tiff started when Vegas' PURE nightclub contacted Joe to have Jess host a New Year's Eve party …

Oprah Winfrey opens school in S. Africa  —  JOHANNESBURG, South Africa - Oprah Winfrey opened a school Tuesday for disadvantaged girls, fulfilling a promise she made to former President Nelson Mandela six years ago and giving more than 150 students a chance for a better future.

It's a boy for Will Ferrell and his wife  —  LOS ANGELES - It's a boy, again, for Will Ferrell and his wife, the actor's publicist said Tuesday.  —  Mattias Ferrell was born just after 2 a.m. on Dec. 30, said Matt Labov.  —  Ferrell, 39, and Viveca Paulin were married in 2000.

Britney Spears's New Year's Resolution: 'To Take Care of Me'  —  In recent months, Britney Spears lost her baby weight, moved to a new house, got to work on her new album, and of course, filed for divorce from Kevin Federline - so what does she want to do in 2007?

Diddy's Looking for a Few Good Men  —  Diddy is looking for boys and lots of them.  Diddy is currently casting a superstar all-male group for the 4th season of Making the Band.  He has already turned Danity Kane into a somewhat successful girl-group and now he's giving back to the dudes.

Kristin Cavallari's New Year's Resolution: Stop Swearing  —  Kristin Cavallari rang in 2007 with a kiss from boyfriend Nick Zano - and no cuss words - on her lips.  —  "My goal is to stop swearing," the Laguna Beach star, 19, told PEOPLE on New Year's Eve at the Miami nightclub Prive.

Jessica Alba Bikini Pics: Nipples, Nude, and a Football  —  Well, the New Year bikini pictures continue to roll in, and once again we're graced with some great Jessica Alba bikini pictures.  I'm sure there's some gossip around here somewhere, but frankly, it'll just have to wait.

Teri Garr Recovering from Brain Aneurysm  —  Actress Teri Garr, 62, is "recovering nicely" after undergoing surgery to treat a brain aneurysm, her rep tells PEOPLE.  —  "She's alert.  She's sitting up.  She's talking," says her rep. "The prognosis is very, very good."

Malawi father: How is my son doing with Madonna?  —  LILONGWE, Malawi (Reuters) — The father of a Malawian boy being adopted by pop diva Madonna wants to ask the American singer how his son is getting on, a newspaper reported on Tuesday.  —  "I don't have her phone and mailing addresses.

Jessica Simpson & John Mayer's Cozy New York Weekend  —  Jessica Simpson and John Mayer are looking closer than ever after spending a whirlwind weekend in New York City.  —  The pair have dodged rumors of an off-and-on relationship for months, and they set tongues wagging again on New Year's Eve …

Eva Not Down With Strippers  —  In Touch Weekly informs us that Eva Longoria has banned anything wearing pasties from her fiance Tony Parker's bachelor party.

Jessica and John's New Year Kiss  —  Not to be outdone by Nick and Vanessa's very public NYE kiss, Jessica Simpson and John Mayer celebrated 2007 by "full-on making out" at the Hudson Hotel party thrown by Christina Aguilera.  This is the first public acknowledgment of their relationship.  Here's more:

Brandon Davis Lets It All Hang Out  —  We apologize for posting the offending photos (hopefully you've fully digested your lunch), but it's kind of like watching a train wreck - you just have to look.

Ricky Martin: "Celebrities Suck!"  —  Ricky Martin showed the world what he really thinks of celebrities walking around star-studded Miami Beach over New Years' weekend.  The singer was sporting a "CELEBRITIES SUCK" t-shirt.  No Ricky, that won't grab you even more attention...

Kevin Federline 'Beats' Wrestler John Cena  —  Britney Spears' estranged husband Kevin Federline has triumphed in his first official match as a wrestler, beating World Wrestling Entertainment star John Cena in 10 minutes.  The aspiring rapper claimed victory at Miami, Florida's American Airlines Arena …

Woody Welcomes The New Year in Miami  —  Woody Allen and his wife Soon-Yi Previn were spotted on the beaches of Miami earlier this weekend with their daughters Bechet, 8, and Manzie, 6 (both named after jazz musicians).  Woody, 71, and Soon-Yi, 36, were in South Florida because Woody was performing with his jazz band.

Dieux Du Stade 2007 video  —  Three naked guys, specifically ruggers Jérôme Previtali, Lionel Gautherie and Pierre-Alain Nègre-Gauthier, posing nude together, swapping underwear, and in general behaving in a pretty gay manner.  —  Watch them in live, NSFW action after the jump!

Rocky Likes Golf?  —  I didn't see the latest Rocky movie (but apparently plenty of you did, the movie's made around $50 million!), but somehow the image of Sly doing a daddy-daughter day at the golf course just doesn't gel with my memories of Rambo!  Regardless, it's cute to see him spending …