Anna's baby staying put  —  Bahamas Judge rules Stern can't flee with Dannielynn  —  BY RICH SCHAPIRO in the Nassau, Bahamas and MICHELLE CARUSO in Los Angeles  —  After frantic pleas by Anna Nicole Smith's mother, a Bahamian judge yesterday slapped Howard K. Stern with a court order preventing …

Beyonce on the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Cover?  WTF!?  —  Okay, I don't know what the hell made those bozos at Sports Illustrated think that Beyonce in a bikini qualifies to make the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, but there she is.  And I'm sad.

Heather Mills To Join 'Dancing With The Stars'?  —  She still may be in immersed in a heated divorce battle with Paul McCartney, but hopefully Heather Mills still has her dancing shoes.  —  She's gonna need 'em.  —  According to reports, Heather, 38, has signed on for the upcoming season of ABC's "Dancing With the Stars."

Howard Stern Engaged!  —  Hell hath frozen over!  Radio shock jock Howard Stern, 53, who once said he would never again marry, has finally decided to make an honest woman of his long-time girlfriend, model Beth Ostrosky, 34.  —  Stern announced today on his Sirius Satellite Radio show …

Purses!  Brit not seen as a clutch performer  —  Hugh Grant told us at the premiere of his romantic comedy "Music and Lyrics" why he's been grouchy with the press lately.  "I think it's to do with consent," Grant (above) said.  "If you show up at something like this, it's clearly consent.

Black on VOGUE  —  Black on VOGUE  —  Jennifer Hudson is on the March issue of Vogue magazine.  The last American black women to grace the cover of Vogue was Halle Berry in 2002 and Oprah Winfrey in 1998.  The first black woman on the cover of Vogue was the legendary Beverly Johnson in June of 1975.

What drove Robbie to rehab  —  Stress ... Robbie is gaunt leaving a top nightclub in Los Angeles, and, inset, poignant lyrics from his Good Doctor song  —  ROBBIE Williams was plunged into depression after his old mates in Take That eclipsed his solo efforts with their hit reunion tour and album.

Pete Wentz Knows What Boys Like  —  Pete Wentz's saucy Vice interview—in which the Fall Out Boy singer allegedly revealed some of his favorite under-the-covers peccadilloes—might have disappeared from the web, but the new issue of Blender finds him providing more details on his far-ranging sexual appetite:

Norah Jones: I Was Told to Lose Weight for Movie  —  Norah Jones didn't think she needed to lose weight - until she was "asked to lose a few pounds" for a movie role, the singer says in a new interview.  —  "I probably shouldn't say this," Jones tells the March British edition of Glamour.

Bullock First Tagged Husband As Brutish  —  Sandra Bullock Says She Initially Wrote Off Husband Jesse James As Beyond a Brutish 'Bigot'  —  Before she got to know him, Sandra Bullock says she tagged her husband, mechanic and reality TV star Jesse James, as a brutish "bigot."

CD thief gets his Justin deserts  —  And the moral of the story is: If you're ripping off your own record label for $20,000 worth of pilfered CDs, don't make your interns do all the work selling it on eBay - they might rat you out.  —  That was the fate of one hapless Jive Records executive assistant …

Crowd at fund-raiser is far from over the Hil  —  The crowd was so young at Hillary Clinton's first fund-raiser since she announced her candidacy for President that the senator was prompted to say, "Few of you are old enough to remember when Sputnik went up, but I am."

Sex and the City movie planned  —  Sarah Jessica Parker and her Sex and the City co-stars are set to resurrect their martini-sipping, bed-hopping characters for the big screen.  —  A script for a Sex and the City feature film is being penned and filming could begin later this year in New York.

Michelle Ryan is The Bionic Woman  —  The Hollywood Reporter says that British cutie Michelle Ryan has landed the title role on NBC's drama pilot "The Bionic Woman," an updated version of the 1970s series. … Well, I'm not sure what $50 million can buy you these days, but I'm sure they'll think of a few interesting enhancements.

Felicia Culotta Finally Breaks Her Silence  —  Felicia Culotta, Britney's former assistant, and good friend of mine, wrote me an E-mail in response to our editorial "Why Britney Is Asking For It..." … Shout It!

TomKat and Oprah Winfrey talking it up again  —  Now if only Oprah Winfrey could get Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes on the show again because that will be some classic TV!