Joel Madden Accused of Battering a Woman  —  TMZ has learned that the Beverly Hills Police Department is investigating rocker Joel Madden, after a female photographer filed a "crime report" claiming he attacked her during a violent confrontation over the weekend.

Braff could make big bucks — if 'Scrubs' renewed … LOS ANGELES, California (Hollywood Reporter) — Zach Braff is about to land a big payday, as long as his hospital comedy "Scrubs" gets renewed by NBC for a seventh season.  —  The actor has cut a one-year deal with "Scrubs" …

TIGHT SCRUTINY  —  JAKE Gyllenhaal is way beyond the simple choice of boxers vs. briefs.  A shopper in Bloomingdale's underwear department recently watched the "Brokeback Mountain" star with a salesman "combing through every style . . . A good 10 minutes later, Jake was still at it …

TASTE OF RACHAEL  —  RACHAEL Ray was attacked by a dog in Union Square Park Saturday while bravely defending her pit-bull mix, Isaboo.  According to the TV host's rep, "This dog came up - there was no owner in sight - and became aggressive.  Rachael and some others shooed it away, but it came back and attacked Isaboo.

Lindsay Lohan Being Lindsay Lohan  —  There are two celebrities I hate writing about: Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears.  It's too exhausting keeping track of their every single move.  However, what separates Lindsay from Britney is that she's damn hot!  I hate to admit it, but I call it like it is.

Hyde and Go Old  —  Mick Jagger, Steve Bing and Warren Beatty cut loose and stayed out late last night at Hollywood "hot spot" Hyde.  Although the trio began the night in a rather civil manner, sources say that things got out of hand when Beatty had the bartender crush his back medication into his Mojitos.

Courteney and David: We Are Not On The Rocks  —  Courteney Cox, 42, and David Arquette, 35, are slamming recent reports in Star and Life & Style magazines claiming that their 7-year marriage is on the rocks, and that Cox has been cozy with Dirt costar Josh Stewart.  —  A rep for the couple tells Us:

Howard admits, 'I'm not the father'  —  Howard K. Stern has reportedly admitted he's not the father of Anna Nicole Smith's daughter Dannielynn and is now willing to sign over the paternity rights to the man who believes he is the baby's real dad, Larry Birkhead — for the right price.

Hathaway insists on no tongues  —  It started with a kiss ... Anne gets steamy in Havoc  —  THE Devil Wears Prada actress ANNE HATHAWAY has dished the dirt on some of Hollywood's hunkiest leading men and how they like to kiss.  —  And while she rates Becoming Jane co-star JAMES McAVOY …

A sore subject for Smith  —  Get well soon, Will Smith!  —  The leading man (right) is being treated at the Hospital for Special Surgery on the upper East Side, his rep confirms.  "Will strained his shoulder on Thursday morning and after work immediately went to the hospital," his spokeswoman told us yesterday.

PRICE TAG FOR ISAIAH SLUR  —  KATHERINE Heigl got into a dispute with ABC over her "Grey's Anatomy" salary last week - claiming she wanted to be paid as much as co-stars Sandra Oh and Isaiah Washington - but we hear things aren't going so well for Washington, either.

NON-CELEBRITIES  —  THE Internet has buzzed with rumors that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes will soon become neighbors of Yoko Ono and Lauren Bacall at the famed Dakota co-op on Central Park West.  Gawker has posted several items from "inside" tipsters that the Hollywood couple has a contract …

PARIS IN GROCERY CART BATTLE  —  WHAM!  BAM!...THANK YOU, PARIS!  After a slam-bang shopping cart attack, PARIS HILTON was asked to leave a BevHills market.  The bizarre cart-fight began when Haughty Hilton ordered a female shopper to stop blocking the aisle with her cart.

Mariah Carey plays Second Fiddle for movie shot in town  —  Mariah Carey sang country music in Nashville last week.  Don't get excited — it was just for a movie.  —  She was filming the independent film Tennessee with Lance Reddick, Ethan Peck and Adam Rothenberg.

Eva Mendes Nude Pictures  —  Despite being top spot at the box office for two weeks in a row, I haven't heard a single good thing about Ghost Rider.  I have heard, or seen, rather, very good things about Eva Mendes, who stars as the love interest in the film.

Naomi to sweep corridors as punishment for 'maid' assault  —  Naomi Campbell will be made to work as a cleaner as punishment for attacking her maid, according to US reports.  The supermodel is set to be told to mop floors and sweep corridors at a New York city public building in the coming months, according to the New York Daily News.

William WILL get married to Kate, MPs told  —  Prince William and Kate Middleton will get married, MPs have been told.  —  A House of Commons select committee has heard that William, 24, had spoken openly about his plans.  —  Respected royal photographer Arthur Edwards …

Cast as Oscar outsiders  —  Unless you think Ronald Reagan would've been better than Humphrey Bogart as Rick in "Casablanca" — which nearly happened — or if you see the genius of casting in "Chinatown," "Bonnie and Clyde" and "Little Miss Sunshine," you can appreciate what a casting director does for a movie.

Simon on Britney: 'I couldn't care less'  —  Plus, Madonna takes religious holiday back to roaring '20s  —  Simon Cowell has no sympathy for Britney Spears.  —  The "American Idol" judge says that the singer's recent meltdown and rehab stint are "fashionable" and an "indulgence."