It's Too Early For This!!!!  —  First I posted Paris Hilton with dick and now this crap?  This Monday is not starting off on a good note.  TMZ has a picture of Gene Simmons minutes after a facelift.  The picture is from the second season premiere of "Family Jewels" on A&E where Gene and his girlfriend Shannon Tweed got pulled.

Rocker Johnny is Dun-struck  —  RAZORLIGHT star JOHNNY BORRELL has pulled Hollywood beauty KIRSTEN DUNST, I can exclusively reveal.  —  The indie singer has spent the last week working his charms on the stunning actress after she showed up at Razorlight's gig in LA last Friday.

Uma Thurman and Boyfriend Split - Again  —  Uma Thurman and hotelier Andre Balazs have ended their three-year, on-again off-again relationship, a source close to the actress tells PEOPLE.  —  The breakup of Thurman, 36, and Balazs, 50 - who had begun dating in late 2003 …

PIMPLE MY RIDE  —  A TAXI driver swears to the following: Last week, he was driving Terrence Howard , who's been dating Naomi Campbell, and "a tall blond woman.  He was talking very loudly and said, 'I want you to pop the zits on my back with your teeth,' and then leaned forward and yelled at me, 'And you can tell Page Six!'

Paris Hilton Holding Cee-Lo's Dick?!?  —  It is way too early for this, but MediaTakeOut is reporting that this is an authentic photograph of Paris Hilton on her knees (her favorite position) and holding Cee-Lo's dick!  Why Cee-Lo why?!  In case you don't know this fool, he's a part of Gnarls Barkley.

Queen of Pop?  Jacko acts like diva  —  Robert Duvall admits to Details magazine that he's 'shooting blanks'  —  Just call him Ms. Jackson.  —  Staffers at a posh London hotel are buzzing about what a diva Michael Jackson has been during a recent stay there — and how he went incognito by registering as a woman.

I guess Scientologists do celebrate St Patty's Day  —  As cute as Suri is, she is looking more and more like Tom Cruise's mother everytime I see her.  They even have the same hair-do.  Poor girl.

Courteney Cox Gets Dirty  —  Courteney literally got dirty but still managed to look hot in the April issue of LA Confidential.  She told us how great it is to work on her passion, but for us it's great to get a glimpse of how the tabloids are pieced together each week.  Here's more:

Watson 'will finish' Potter films  —  Actress Emma Watson is likely to return as Hermione in the last two Harry Potter movies despite reports she may quit, producers Warner Bros have said.  —  "We're extremely confident that Emma will be back for films six and seven," a spokesperson for the Hollywood studio told CBBC's Newsround.

Jess And John Do A Little St. Patty's Day Partying  —  Jessica Simpson and John Mayer partied at a house in the Hollywood Hills on St. Patrick's Day and it looked like the luck 'o the Irish was with them.  I Googled "John Mayer Irish" to see if the soulful singer might have some green blood …

Heidi Works Her Child-Sized Weights  —  Heidi showed that she certainly has her hands full with little Leni and Henry (I guess the little one isn't much for outings) at the park this weekend.  Even though Wikipedia seems to have already impregnated Heidi again, there's no word on that front for the first time in a few years.

Britney Spears caught romping in the bushes of her rehab centre  —  Britney Spears was caught romping in the bushes of her rehab center with a mystery man.  —  Britney Spears goes to an AA Meeting at a church at Pacific Palisades, CA (03/12/2007).  Photo Credit: HotShots Worldwide / Splash News

Simon Cowell Regrets Turning Down Sex Judge Offer.  —  Simon Cowell Regrets Turning Down Sex Judge Offer.... American Idol star Simon Cowell regrets turning down $100,000 (£51,280) to critique a couple's lovemaking.  —  The music mogul admits he was offered the cash by a kinky …

Fergie Has A New Skin Color: Orange  —  It amazes me that some people are still dumb enough to use tanning creams.  I thought it would be a fad but I guess I was wrong.  Who would have thought that orange would be such a popular skin color?  Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought …

Producer says Christina Aguilera slept around, ended up w/ his assistant Jordan  —  Atlanta producer Dallas Austin made headlines last year when he spent over a month in a Dubai prison after being caught at the airport with just over a gram of cocaine by authorities.

JUST ASKING  —  WHICH multi-Oscar-winning leading man is not aging gracefully?  While the ladies say he's great between the sheets, they get turned off by his bizarre nocturnal habit of using a chamber pot by his bed instead of the toilet.

Entourage's Kevin Dillon Enjoys Fatherhood  —  On Entourage, Kevin Dillon plays the guileless - and often clueless - actor Johnny "Drama" Chase.  —  But in real life, the 41-year-old plays a far more serious role: dedicated long-distance father of a 16-year-old daughter.

NARROW ESCAPE  —  ROSE McGowan , a star of upcoming gore-fest "Grindhouse," had a gory experience of her own a few weeks ago - but it could have been worse.  McGowan was a passenger in a car that collided with another, and the accident pushed her eyeglasses into her face.