DAD SPANKS NAUGHTY BRITNEY  —  BRITNEY Spears has no one to blame but herself if she loses custody of her two sons and ruins her career, according to her father, Jamie Spears.  —  In a statement to Page Six yesterday, Jamie sticks up for Britney's manager Larry Rudolph - who was fired by Britney last Friday, as we first reported.

PARIS' NEW PAL  —  ANOTHER man has fallen prey to the wiles of Paris Hilton.  Although she was supposedly dating "Desperate Housewives" hottie Josh Henderson, Hilton showed up at Teddy's in L.A. Wednesday night with sister Nicky, David Katzenberg and Petra Nemcova's ex, "You're Beautiful" whiner James Blunt.

Alec Baldwin's Threatening Message to Daughter  —  An enraged Alec Baldwin unleashed a volcanic tirade of threats and insults on his 11-year-old daughter, Ireland, calling her a "thoughtless little pig," and bashing her mother Kim Basinger — and TMZ has obtained the whole thing unfiltered and raw.

Britney Grasps At Strawberries  —  Britney Spears' sweet tooth is the stuff of legends, but with Earth Day right around the corner, yesterday she found a more organic way to indulge herself!  We spotted the pop princess pulling to the side of the road by a fruit stand and watched as she bought …

Timberlake, Alba on list of sexy celebs  —  NEW YORK - Another day, another list.  But what the heck, this one is a "What is Sexy?" rundown from Victoria's Secret.  "SexyBack" singer Justin Timberlake is sexiest male musician; Jessica Alba, who starred in "Sin City," is sexiest actress …

Birkhead: I'm Calling My Travel Agent!  —  Larry Birkhead just emerged from a custody hearing in the Bahamas with a big smile on his face and said, "I gotta call my travel agent," suggesting that he was getting very close to taking daughter Dannielynn home.  —  Minutes later …

Every Day With R-Bils is R-Bils Day!  —  OMG, you guys!  How smashy cute is R-Bils?  I mean, I know I throw around the A-word loosely sometimes, but she really is a-dor-a-ble.  So yeah, she's just hanging out with her doggie Thurman Murman (it would seem she has pretty full custody …

It's Official: Brandy Leaves America's Got Talent  —  Brandy won't be returning for the second season of America's Got Talent as a judge and has been replaced by Sharon Osbourne, it was announced Thursday.  —  "Brandy has enjoyed her association with the program," said the singer's rep, Courtney Barnes.

Britney Spears Getting Back to 'Fighting Weight'  —  Since leaving rehab in March, Britney Spears seems to have dropped her hard-partying ways - and a few extra pounds.  —  "After all the negative stuff, she's getting back to her 'fighting weight,' " one Spears business associate tells PEOPLE.

Is the President's Marriage In Trouble?  —  Yes, you read the title right- I didn't think I would be writing about this on this site, either.  —  Ted Casablanca from E! Online-one of my fave gossip columnists (he's flamboyant and usually right, unlike some other gay gossip blogger who is usually so wrong) …

Wild-eyed Doherty in water attack hours after court  —  Barefoot and wild-eyed, Pete Doherty attacked a photographer just hours after a judge praised him for trying to kick drugs.  —  The Babyshambles frontman threw a bucket of ice-cold water over snapper Oliver Polter in a fit of rage …

Jessie Metcalfe Out With New Lady!  —  Former Housewives hunk Jesse Metcalfe steps out with a woman who is definitely not 'Girls Aloud' singer Nadine Coyle!  Metcalfe and Coyle have been an item for about a year now and recently looked 'loved up' while on a photo-shoot in Maui but these photos show that Jesse has apparently moved on!

How it all adds up  —  The "Sahara" ledger, based on financial projections through 2015.  The actual loss on the film was about $105 million through 2006.  —  Incidentals  —  The budget of a major feature film lists a wide variety of expenditures.  For "Sahara" they included such items …

RETURN SMASH  —  RETIRED tennis hottie Anna Kournikova probably wished she'd bitten her tongue after she yelled at a Miami Beach surfer and his sunbathing puppy, "That dog should be on a [bleep]ing leash!"  The surfer snapped back, "Maybe you should be on a [bleep]ing leash!"

AMERICAN IDOL'S BLAKE LEWIS LOSES HIS SHIRT  —  No doubt there are a few fans out there who would like to see American Idol Blake Lewis showing a little more skin.  Alas, Chris Richardson is nowhere in sight (at least the photoshop bandits haven't added him, yet).  —  You may have missed...

The Ladies Who Lunch  —  Jennifer Garner, Cindy Crawford, Angie Harmon, Lisa Kudrow, Amanda Peet and Brooke Shields donned their lady-like best to attend the Oscar De La Renta store opening in Beverly Hills yesterday.  I thought I'd give you a little (I mean very little) prettiness this morning, because I usually give you the ugly.

Amy Winehouse Shows Mailman Her Package!  —  They say the postman always rings twice, but apparently, that wasn't nearly enough prep time for Brit soul singer Amy Winehouse!  —  When a mailman came to deliver a package, the bouffanted and tatted-up rising pop star came to the door …