Lindsay Lohan's Driver is an Excellent Driver  —  Lindsay Lohan's personal driver, John Zagata, slammed into the car of Antonia Bennett, Tony Bennet's daughter, on Wednesday and immediately jumped out to apologize.  Oh wait, I mean the exact opposite: … Jesus, does anyone who knows Lindsay Lohan know how to drive?

Britney Spears is Writing a Book  —  Despite warnings from her family that it will damage her career even further, Britney Spears is going ahead with her plans to write a $10 million tell all book.  The book, which is said to be at the urging of the female therapist Britney has been seeing since rehab …

Is Angelina Jolie Dying?  —  Her high-profile commitments with the UN coupled with the death of her mother, have reportedly taken a toll on Angelina Jolie's health, but after appearing at the Global Action for Children news conference yesterday looking emaciated and exhausted …

Paris Hilton as a PSA.  —  Paris Hilton's naked "corpse" could provide an invaluable service to students preparing for prom this season.  —  An interactive Public Service Announcement featuring the graphic display of  —  a tiara-wearing, autopsied Paris Hilton with removable innards is designed

BLAMING DORA  —  DID Alec Baldwin dump CAA this week because a video posted on FunnyOrDie.com showed Dora the Explorer listening to his infamous phone rant against his daughter, Ireland?  The Web site is the creation of Adam McCay, Chris Henchy and fellow CAA client Will Ferrell.

Kristin Cavallari Ruins A See Through Moment  —  If there's one girl who shouldn't be wearing a bra out in public, it is Kristin Cavallari!  But don't worry, sooner or later people will lose complete interest in her and she'll have no choice but to walk around naked just to get noticed.

Paris vs. Lindsay: Celebs Take Sides  —  As the one-year anniversary of the Battle of Firecrotch nears, Us Weekly's Hot Hollywood Party was the scene of the latest Lindsay Lohan/Paris Hilton encounter — and camps are divided by strict party lines!  School's in session, kiddies!

"Weak" Virgie Defeated in Court — Larry Finally Free to Go  —  There is no one else standing in Larry Birkhead's way.  —  Virgie Arthur's last-ditch appeal to block Dannielynn's biological father from leaving the Bahamas with the infant has just been denied.

Beckhams Find Their 'Perfect' House in Beverly Hills  —  Victoria and David Beckham have finally found the house they will live in when they move to Los Angeles in the summer, PEOPLE has learned.  —  The multi-million-dollar mansion is "modern, airy, very light and spacious with lots of windows …

Jennifer Love Hewitt $ued by Former Manager  —  TMZ has obtained a lawsuit filed against sexy tv star Jennifer Love Hewitt.  The suit, filed today in a Los Angeles County Superior Court, claims Hewitt owes her former management company for brokering the seven-year deal for her hit show "The Ghost Whisperer."

Spidy Sensitive?  Tobey Slaps Photog  —  He may be "Spider-Man," but Tobey Maguire did his best impression of the Hulk when he smacked a camera out of the hand of a fan who got too close.  Tobey smash!  —  Maguire was headed back to his hotel in Paris when the fan, who was walking right alongside him …

Gyllenhaal Unwilling to Accept Witherspoon's Reasonable Priorities  —  Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon's month-long fling is apparently over practically before it even started, because Jake was demanding time from Reese that she felt she would rather spend with her children.

The Stars Get Hot in Hollywood  —  Jennifer showed young Hollywood how it was done at the Us Weekly Hot Hollywood 2007 bash last night.  While the rest of the starlets donned dresses J Lo made a splash in a white Ralph Lauren suit.  It's no surprise then that she was honored as US Weekly's Style Icon …

Greasy  —  Ashlee Simpson, Lindsay Lohan, Mischa Barton, the Olsens, Nicole Richie, Fuggie Fug...all these dumbasses are starting to look the same.  They even dress the same.  They all have that nasty-ass hair that's just begging to be washed.  —  Fuggie arrived in Australia today for the MTV Video Music Awards this weekend.

Gwen Rocks the Ultimate Fashion Accessory  —  Gwen Stefani is lookin' "hella good!"  Looks like G has whipped herself into fant-AB-ulous shape since the birth of her super-cute son Kingston, who will celebrate his first birthday May 26.  —  The 37-year-old mom looked smashing in a ripped crop top …

Was Alba Altered?  —  When Marvel comics released promotional posters for the film Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, blogs immediately noted that Jessica Alba had been given the Photoshop treatment.  —  As expected, Alba (who turns 26 tomorrow) sports her character's trademark blue eyes …