Britney Spears Topless!!!  —  This is how we want to see Britney Spears make a comeback!  Forget about the lipsyncing, floundering on stage, and ripping off her fans!  Just get naked!  —  These pictures were taken in early April of this month at a friends house.  Too bad she didn't do this 6 years ago!

'Scary Spice' Melanie Brown: I'm Taking Eddie Murphy to Court  —  Melanie Brown, who welcomed her second daughter, Angel Iris Murphy Brown, last month, says she's taking ex-boyfriend Eddie Murphy to court to force him to take a paternity test.  —  "He's not doing a DNA test and he's not signing …

RATS!  LINDSAY ON VIDEO  —  LINDSAY Lohan just can't seem to stop partying - and, unluckily for her, word on the street is that someone may have recorded her revelry with a cellphone video camera.  We can't divulge what Lohan was allegedly caught doing, but if true, it won't sit well with her younger fans.

Rosie Getting Soft  —  Rosie O'Donnell has alerted the global media via website haiku that she will not longer be verbally backhanding Elisabeth Hasselbeck on "The View" because Hasselbeck's with child .  First off, please stop with the haikus.  It's not adorable, or whimsical or heartfelt.

Japan warned over Babel sickness  —  Hollywood film Babel could make viewers ill, according to its Japanese distributor which has taken out newspaper adverts to warn cinema-goers.  —  About 15 people have complained of feeling sick while watching the film since it opened in Japan last week.

Keira Knightley 'Devastated' by Anorexia Rumors  —  Keira Knightley says she was "devastated" when images of her appeared in magazine articles about the "skinny celebrity" debate.  —  "When all that blew up, I felt terrible," the actress, 22, tells the British edition of Elle in its June issue.

Wedding Crashed: Esposito and Cooper Split  —  TMZ has learned that actress Jennifer Esposito has filed for divorce from her husband of four months, Bradley Cooper.  The documents, filed Tuesday in Los Angeles County Superior Court, cite irreconcilable differences as the reason for the split.

Angelina Jolie Gives Lap Dance to Ex Lover  —  Angelina Jolie is a free spirit, and so is Brad Pitt.  He knew what he was getting himself into. … Angelina Jolie also said today that she would meet with her father Jon Voight, with the condition that the meeting is at arms length.  That's a start.

Tom & Katie: His & Hers Houses!  —  Despite Tom Cruise's reported attempts to keep Katie Holmes under his thumb, his 28-year-old wife may now be fighting back!  While away from their high security Beverly Hills compound to shoot her new film, Mad Money, Katie is insisting on renting a home closer …

Britney's immature, but it's fans who need help  —  Who are these gullible fools who wait hours for 15 minutes of nothing?  —  Cries for help come in many different forms.  For Britney Spears, it was shaving her head or going out on the town with no underpants.

Natalie Portman, je t'aime  —  Here's Natalie Portman, once again looking resplendent, at the premiere of Paris, je t'aime (that's "Paris, I Love You," for those of you who don't speak even the tiniest bit of French).  As always, Natalie is absolutely perfect, and there is nothing bad I can possibly say about her.

Mann, DiCaprio team for drama  —  Film takes place on MGM lot in '30s  —  Michael Mann has delivered to studio execs what he hopes will be his next directing effort, a star vehicle for Leonardo DiCaprio.  —  Scripted by John Logan, the project is an untitled noir drama that takes place on the old MGM lot in the 1930s.

When Sienna Looks in the Mirror...  Sienna Lohan Dunst Olsen Simpson Sevigny showed off her ass and nips at lunch in London.  I'm serious when I say that these girls are look the same.  They wear the same wayfarers and the same dirty tank.  Are they in competition to see who can look the dirtiest?

Thin Excuses  —  Keira Knightley has come out to say that the constant accusations of anorexia directed toward her have rattled her brittle bones and fragile core. … When asked their feelings about the eating disorder fiasco, Keira's thyroid hormones and normal menstruation cycle said they they, too, were "devastated."