PARIS HAS A JAIL WAIL  —  MA BIDS TO DRY HER TEARS  —  By JENNIFER FERMINO in N.Y & DAVID K. LI in L.A.  —  Looks as if she already has the jailhouse blues.  —  Paris Hilton broke down in tears during a posh lunch with her mom at a Beverly Hills eatery, one day after being sentenced to prison.

Ty Pennington Arrested for DUI  —  "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" star Ty Pennington was arrested early Saturday morning in Los Angeles on suspicion of being under the influence of alcohol and drugs while driving.  —  The hottie carpenter, who got his start on the TLC hit "Trading Spaces," was arrested at 12:35 AM.

Brittany Murphy Secretly Weds  —  Actress Brittany Murphy recently married screenwriter Simon Monjack, Usmagazine.com has learned.  —  The 29-year-old Clueless star, who called off an an engagement to another man just over eight months ago, was spotted partying with Monjack at the Playboy event …

Tom Cruise Buys $35 Million Beverly Hills Mansion  —  In a move that further dispels rumors of marital strife, Tom Cruise has plunked down $35 million for a Beverly Hills home for himself, Katie Holmes and baby Suri, the Los Angeles Times reports.  —  The star, 44, had been renting a home …

THONGS R HER  —  GISELE Bundchen is counting down the seconds until her contract with Victoria's Secret runs out so she can cash in on her new deal with H&M. Page Six sources tell us the bronzed beauty - who is always on the arm of boyfriend Tom Brady - is "negotiating a lingerie line" with the label.

Shambles: Pete Doherty arrested for drugs yet again  —  Troubled singer Pete Doherty is showing no signs of curbing his drug-fuelled lifestyle, prompting speculation it might take its toll on his relationship with supermodel Kate Moss.  —  The 28-year-old Babyshambles star was arrested …

"Spiderman 3" Busts Records  —  All that endless promotion, and we're talking ENDLESS PROMOTION, (I thought Kirsten and Toby were going to personally bring me bagels or something to get me to see it) paid off.  "Spiderman 3" broke all sorts of records in its opening weekend.  I still haven't seen it.

Huffman admits she was drunk on new film  —  Plus: PETA takes on the Princeton Tigers  —  Felicity Huffman is addressing those rumors that she was drunk on the set of "Georgia Rule": She was.  Some.  —  "Okay, it's a little true.  I was drunk a little bit of it, but not a lot," the …

A Favorite of the Butch Dykes  —  Friends and family of inmates at the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, CA say that Paris Hilton better watch her ass.  They said if she acts uppity or uses her favorite word (the n-word) she's done for.  —  One friend of an inmate said …

De La Hoya gets some good news after all  —  I begin at the end of this story.  —  Oscar De La Hoya is going to be a new father, although he doesn't know it yet.  —  "I think tonight is a good night to tell him," his wife, Millie, says.  "He has a lot to look forward to now."

Paris Rolls Again!  —  Just one short week before a Los Angeles judge laid down the law for Miss Hilton, she was spotted partying it up at the Coachella Music Festival in Palm Springs ... with her own brand of smokes!  —  It seems that Paris was back to rolling her own cigarettes.  Perhaps she's on a budget.

Gwyneth moves to UK to educate her children  —  She has criticised our weather and our men but, despite her reservations about Britain, American actress Gwyneth Paltrow has sold her home in New York to spend more time here.  —  After recently purchasing the house immediately next door …

Lindsay Lohan is Caught on Tape Snorting Cocaine … Video stills of Lindsay Lohan in a bathroom stall at Teddy's in the Roosevelt Hotel show the actress in the middle of a cocaine binge just 20 days after her release from rehab. friend told Britain's News of The World that not only is Lindsay addicted …

I am - Brooke Hogan Dancing Around in her Underwear of the Day  —  I know that a girl in her underwear is enough to make you happy.  I know that you're one of those guys at the strip club who sits by the stage clapping and urging the bitches on.  It's people like you that f**k it up for the rest of us …

Brad Won't Show That Ass  —  Brad Pitt has demanded an "ass double" for his film "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button."  Brad is no stranger to showing the bare cheeks in film.  Sources say that a casting notice has been sent out looking for someone to be his double.

WRITING HER IN MOP-DUTY  —  HOW NAOMI SCOURED HER SOUL & FOUND 'SOLACE IN SWEEPING'  —  Claw-baring catwalker Naomi Campbell says she picked up more than trash while working off a community-service sentence at a city Sanitation Department facility - she also landed a much-needed lesson in humility.