Paris — I'm Not Above the Law  —  Paris Hilton has issued the following statement through attorney Richard Hutton:

K-Fed disses Britney's latest rehab romance  —  Plus: Bounty hunter lands in doghouse, thanks to his wife  —  Kevin Federline has been talking trash about Britney Spears' new man, musician Howie Day.  —  "When Kevin heard they had a sleepover at her house, everyone wanted to know about it," a source tells the new issue of Star.

George Lucas Calls 'Spider-Man 3' Silly; Cate Blanchett Looks Great  —  George Lucas Calls 'Spider-Man 3' Silly  —  Before I tell you what George Lucas said at the all-star Time magazine dinner for the 100 most influential people, let's cut to the chase: Cate Blanchett arrived and looked gorgeous.

Daughter's illness spurs Johnny Depp to finally marry Vanessa Paradis  —  Actor Johnny Depp is set to wed long-term girlfriend Vanessa Paradis this summer.  —  The couple have toyed with the idea in the past but their daughter Lily-Rose's recent illness has 'spurred them into action', according to a source.

TROPICAL HOLIDAY  —  THE recent tryst in Turks and Caicos was just a quick getaway for Josh Hartnett and Penelope Cruz.  Since the vacation, the two have been getting cozy with other celebs.  Star magazine reported Penelope took her crew to Lenny Kravitz's TriBeCa apartment after her April 28 birthday party at the Beatrice Inn.

Meth Teeth  —  Let's just get straight to the point with this one, shall we?  I think my local homeless mans dirty a-hole is more attractive than Amy Winehouse.  Yes, I've seen it, because one time he needed help popping a doody bubble.  Anyway!  The truth hurts and it had to be said.

DESPITE EVERYTHING, I BELIEVE NAOMI CAMPBELL DOESN'T CARE IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN ON A PLANE  —  Phone flinging phenom, Naomi Campbell, is publishing in the new issue of W the diary entries she composed while forced to do a week of community service following an assault charge.

Ricki Lake: How I Lost Over 100 lbs  —  Once weighing 250 pounds, newly transformed former talk show host Ricki Lake has revealed exclusively to Us Weekly the secrets behind her 123-pound, size-4 shape.  —  Lake, 38, who just debuted The Business of Being Born, her documentary about home birth …

Akon apologises for raunchy dance  —  Singer says he didn't know girl was underage  —  Akon has apologised for performing a raunchy dance onstage with a 14 year-old girl at a concert last month in Trinidad.  —  The singer came under fire when video footage of the dance appeared online …

LINDSAY'S MOM HOGS SPOTLIGHT  —  DINA Lohan, a former Radio City Rockette, is riding the coattails of daughter Lindsay Lohan to launch a TV career.  —  The leggy 44-year-old mother of three was hired by "Entertainment Tonight" to interview celebrities on the red carpet as they arrived …

Don't Mess With Nick Lachey!  —  Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo had a run-in on Friday night at a pre-Kentucky derby party with a guy who was not so representative of Southern hospitality.  —  According to Nick (via his reps), the couple were making their way through the party at Club Felt …

Carmen Electra Will Teach You How To Be Sexy  —  It turns out that writing is among Carmen Electra's numerous talents.  Yes folks, she's put out a book.  The subject matter of this masterpiece shouldn't be much of a surprise.  It's a 'how to' book on being sexy.

Brittany Murphy's Wedding Ring And Short Hair Cut  —  I don't know how I feel about Brittany Murphy's hairstyle.  But I DO know she has SOME rock on her finger.  Since her engagement is the size of a mountain, she went very plain and simple for her wedding ban.  Click on the thumbnails below to enlarge.

She Didn't Write That  —  Parasite Hilton has issued a statement through her new attorney, Richard Hutton.  Here's what that piece of trash said: … She probably didn't even read that statement!  Like she said in court "I don't read things, I just sign them."  That's exactly what I think she did here.

SECRET'S OUT  —  SPOILER alert!  If you don't want to know who wins this season of "The Bachelor," stop right now.  Naval officer Andy Baldwin has narrowed the field of women down to three lucky ladies, but one contestant, Tessa, 26, a social worker from San Francisco …

INSIDE PARIS HILTON'S PRISON HELL!  —  good morning boys & girls!  this week's STAR magazine is all about the whole paris hilton going to prison scenario - the start of her prison time is only weeks away (june 5th) unless her lame attempt at an appeal goes through - girlfriend should just buckle …

Petra Nemcova's Breast Comes Close  —  So how much of Petra Nemcova's breast does it take to officially call this a Petra Nemcova boob slip?  You can't see Petra Nemcova's nipple, but you can pretty much see everything else.  So where do you draw the line?

Jessica Simpson and Eva Longoria Get Their Grind On  —  So you know how when you go to the club, and there's a couple of really hot girls, and they're dancing together, and pretending that their lesbians, and they're just trying to get attention from all the guys who don't know any better?