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7:45 AM ET, May 22, 2007

WeSmirch

 Top News: 
TMZ.com:
Hasselhoff Gets Custody!  —  After the famous hamburger incident, David Hasselhoff has emerged victorious in court!  He has won temporary custody of his two kids.  —  The court hearing today was closed — secret.  Hasselhoff went into court stripped of his right to visit with his children in the wake of the burger video.
RELATED:
Michael K / Dlisted:
The Hoff Gets His Kids?!  Is This a Mistake?!  —  Damn!  Looks like Pamela Bach is a wreck, because a judge has awarded The Hoff temporary full custody of his two kids.  Despite that video of a drunken Hoff taken by his teenage daughter, the judge ruled in his favor.
Ken Lee / People.com:
Judge: David Hasselhoff May See Daughters Again  —  David Hasselhoff regained his parental rights Monday after he agreed to alcohol testing three times per week, a source close to the custody case tells PEOPLE.  —  The actor, wearing a navy pinstripe suit and looking upbeat …
Discussion: CELEBRITY SMACK!
Access Hollywood:
The HoffAt 'America's Got Talent' Presentation  —  On May 7th a Los Angeles judge suspended Hasselhoff's visitation rights with his two daughters Taylor-Ann and Hayley Amber after a video showing the actor drunk was leaked to the media.  Earlier today, Hasselhoff and Bach met in court for a hearing on the issue.
Daily Mail:
What cheek!  Eva Longoria's revealing beach frolic  —  Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria stepped out of Wisteria Lane and onto the beach to test her sporting prowess at a celebrity volleyball event to raise money for charity.  —  Longoria turned out to be a valuable player …
RELATED:
Eva Longoria / Egotastic!:
Eva Longoria's Ass Is Very Charitable  —  Eva Longoria and her ass were on hand at the "Spike for Hope" Celebrity Volleyball Match, and I don't think there's ever been a better way to raise money for charity.  Getting Eva Longoria in bikini bottoms, and flying through the air is a perfect …
Cord Jefferson / MollyGood:   RAISING MONEY AND EYEBROWS
Lburch / A Socialite's Life:   Guess the Ass  —  Find out who it belongs to after the jump.
The Superficial:
Eva Longoria cures cancer
Discussion: rumorficial.com
Hollywoodtuna:   Eva Longoria's Ass Is Nast
Extra:
Paula Abdul Breaks Her Nose  —  A spokesperson for Paula Abdul confirmed to "Extra" that over the weekend, Abdul tripped trying to avoid her Chihuahua, Tulip.  —  As a result of the fall, the "American Idol" judge broke her nose.  —  The spokesperson told "Extra" that contrary to reports, Paula was not hospitalized.
RELATED:
Sarah Hall / E! Online:
Paula Abdul Falls Straight Down  —  RECOMMENDED (0)  —  Paula Abdul has always had a soft spot for the underdog.  —  The American Idol judge took a fall over the weekend while trying to avoid trampling one of her pooches and wound up with a broken nose, her rep told E! News.
Michael K / Dlisted:
Paula Abdul Broke Her Nose!!
Discussion: Seriously? OMG!
A Socialite's Life:
John Mayer and Jessica Simpson Addicted to Make-Up Sex  —  Even though John Mayer was spotted keeping the company with a new girl last Thursday, inside sources still suspect that he and Simpson will continue their on-again, off-again relationship for at least a little while longer.
RELATED:
Los Angeles Times:
Exclusive: Seven weeks of Prince in Hollywood?  —  Hollywood will be raining purple this summer, if current plans hold up.  —  Prince is expected to announce a seven-week residency at the historic Roosevelt Hotel that will include a heaping helping of music, dining and VIP guests, sources say.
Discussion: PerezHilton.com and Defamer
Lesley Abravanel / Scene in the Tropics:
Every Breathing Second of Britney Spears  —  Play by play Britney, because you know you just can't get enough.  —She arrived via private jet in Miami around 4pm Sunday from Orlando, and after a wild paparazzi car chase through South Miami, she hit South Beach for some shopping with her girls.
TMZ.com:
Stapp's Wife: Scott Chucked Orangina Bottle at My Face  —  Scott Stapp's wife claims that she was "in fear for her life" when the rocker flung a glass bottle of Orangina at her face during an alleged incident Sunday morning.  —  According to the police report, Stapp's wife, Miss New York USA 2004 …
MSNBC:
Jolie: I have a lot I want to do in this world  —  Angelina Jolie talks about her new film 'A Mighty Heart,' motherhood, and humanitarian work; Brad Pitt talks in a separate interview … Story continues below ↓  —  advertisement  —  Jolie on her role as Mariane Pearl  —  Ann Curry: It's interesting.
Discussion: Snitch and Celebrity Baby Blog
cityrag:
Sexy or Scary with No-Hairy?  —  Worth1000's look at Bald Celebrities confirms that shaved heads are best left to dudes...  But there are exceptions...  Britney Spears: Bald & Lesbian Ready  —  Angelina Jolie & Gwen Stefani Are Hot & Hairless  —  More below!
TMZ.com:
Sizemore Charged With Five Drug Related Felonies  —  TMZ has learned that actor Tom Sizemore has been charged with five felonies and one misdemeanor stemming from a crystal meth bust earlier this month.  —  Sizemore was charged with one count each of transportation and possession of methamphetamines …
Discussion: A Socialite's Life
Nick / Celebslam.com:
These chicks hate each other  —  Avril Lavigne is still feuding with Hilary Duff.  The two went to great lengths to make sure they didn't run into each other at last week's Maxim Hot 100 Party at the Hotel Gansevoort.  Even though handlers scheduled their arrivals at separate times the pair still ran into each other on the red carpet.
Jeannette Walls / MSNBC:
Avril Lavigne gets into a Duff huff  —  Plus: Marilyn Manson 'had no soul left' after Dita Von Teese left him  —  Why can't pop princesses just all get along?  —  Avril Lavigne and the Duff sisters, Hilary and Haylie, were both invited to attend Maxim's Hot 100 Party at the Hotel Gansevoort last week …
Michael K / Dlisted:
A Mighty Hard-On Takes Cannes  —  Angelina jolie, Brad Pitt, Mariane Pearl and company attended the Cannes premiere of "A Mighty Heart" this evening in France.  Brad went for that old Hollyweird look and much looked better than he did earlier in the day.  Angelina is still Angelina …
X17 Online:
Jessica Lightens Her Hair, Load  —  Jessica went back to blonde and she's also back to being escorted everywhere by Ken Paves now that she and John Mayer have allegedly broken up!  Jess and Ken hit Cannes together last night to promote her new film, Major Movie Star, where Jessica cracked her infamous smile …
Discussion: Seriously? OMG!
 
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 More News: 
TMZ.com:
Mom's Letter to Joe Mortifies Tori
Michael K / Dlisted:
Vintage Pete Doherty
Discussion: heatworld.com
Daily Mail:
Gordon Ramsay turns his blowtorch on Girls Aloud
Discussion: OH NO!! and Popdirt.com
Popoholic:
Alessandra Ambrosio Appreciation Moment
Celebitchy / Cele|bitchy:
Matthew McConaughey running shirtless & hanging out in a holey bathrobe
Michael K / Dlisted:
Is Beyonce Broadway Bound?
Discussion: New York Post and A Hot Mess!
 Earlier Picks: 
RADAR:
JACKO JUNK REVEALED!
Discussion: Defamer and The Evil Beet
popbytes:
OH MY WORD - IS EDIE BRITT DEAD?!?
Noelle Hancock / Us Weekly:
Court TV's Ashleigh Banfield Welcomes Baby Boy
Discussion: Jossip
Lorenzo Benet / People.com:
Lane Garrison Facing Up to 7 Years in Jail
Phil / Egotastic!:
Pamela Anderson: Bikinis and Boos
 

 
From Mediagazer:

Caitlin Huston / The Hollywood Reporter:
Internal memo: Hearst Magazines president announces layoffs as part of a decision to “reallocate resources” to “continue our focus on digital innovation”

Mark Sweney / The Guardian:
National World, one of the UK's biggest newspaper groups, gets a £56.2M buyout offer from shareholder Media Concierge, a 40% premium to its Nov. 21 stock price

Lachlan Cartwright / The Ankler:
Sources: MSNBC renewed Rachel Maddow's contract early this fall, but with a pay cut; MSNBC bosses' plan to shake up daytime and weekend programming

 
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