Jennifer Aniston is a Smart Girl  —  As Usmagazine.com reported in April, Jennifer Aniston, 38, has signed on as the new spokeswoman for smartwater.  The former Friends star and yoga enthusiast is making signature smartwater bottles that will be in stores this July, and will appear …

Nicky Hilton Says Jail for Paris Is 'Absurd'  —  With the June 5 deadline for Paris Hilton to turn herself in to jail looming, her younger sister Nicky is speaking out.  —  "I think she should definitely be punished, but going to jail for a traffic violation is pretty absurd," Hilton, 23 …

Before the slammer, Paris planning some glamour  —  DAILY NEWS GOSSIP COLUMNISTS  —  Paris Hilton is getting ready for her closeup.  —  Sources say the jail-bound heiress has ordered a hair and makeup team to meet her at her Hollywood Hills home at 9 a.m. Monday.

Officials "Have No Idea" Why Wrong-Way Richie Can Drive  —  While Paris Hilton heads off to jail this week, her "Simple Life" cohort Nicole Richie is still cruising the streets with a valid drivers license — even though she has the same DUI charge under her belt and a record as a repeat offender!

Birkhead Sues Opri for Fraud, Malpractice  —  Larry Birkhead just filed a lawsuit against Debra Opri for allegedly defrauding him out of hundreds of thousands of dollars.  —  In a lawsuit filed Friday in Los Angeles County Superior Court, Birkhead claims an MSNBC reporter hooked him up with her.

LiLo Exercises Away the Addiction  —  Lindsay Lohan left her "serious medical treatment program" at Promises rehab facility in Malibu yesterday for a quick session at a local gym.  Which of the twelve steps is the elliptical machine?  —  The rehabbing party girl checked into the posh dry …

JENNIFER ANISTON'S $5 MILLION ART CATALOG  —  Seeing is believing, as Star magazine knows.  That's why it illustrated its cover story about "Jen's $5 Million Tell-All!" with a shot of Jennifer Aniston carrying what is plainly the manuscript she's allegedly shopping around to publishers about her days with Brad Pitt.

Heidi Montag Nude in Playboy is Not Worth $1 Million  —  Well, it looks like all that money that Heidi Montag payed for her new breasts seems to have been a good investment.  According to a report in In Touch magazine this week, there is an offer of $1 Million to have Heidi Montag pose nude in Playboy magazine.

Rumer Willis Defends Lindsay Lohan  —  Willis and Lohan at an American Cinematheque event in 2006  —  Rumer Willis, the oldest daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, says she's on pal Lindsay Lohan's side as the actress deals with rehab and DUI charges.  —  "I haven't talked to her …

Who Is This Guy Anyway?  —  Lindsay Lohan's part time boyfriend/sex addict/druggie Calum Best might be a daddy.  —  Model Lorna Hogan claims they made the baby the night before his dad George Best's memorial service in Manchester.  Classy and respectful fella he is.

TRAVOLTA PRESSED ON TEEN SON  —  JOHN Travolta, 53, and his wife, Kelly Preston, 44, just announced they want to try for their third child - even while they fall under increasing pressure to publicly acknowledge the disability of their son, Jett.  —  Travolta has either pretended …

Baldwin Bucked Up — Rushed to Hospital  —  TMZ has learned that actor Stephen Baldwin was rushed to a Texas hospital yesterday, after he was thrown from a real-life bucking bull during the taping of an upcoming reality show.  You know what happens when you mess with the bull!

While The Cat's Away.....  Oh snap!  Looks like Samantha Ronson is getting herself some new coochie while Lindsay Blohan's in the tank!  The good thing about having Richie as a girlfriend is you can kiss her on both lips at the same time, because she's so skinny!

Courtney Love Forced to Quit Smoking  —  After years of smoking, Courtney Love now has doctor's orders to quit, she writes on her Web site.  —  Love, 42, says her doctor recently discovered pre-op nodules in her throat.  "He guessed exactly how much I smoke too and told me I'll have to get surgery," she writes.

MORE ON CELEBS & THEIR WEIGHT...  good evening everyone!  i'm running a little behind tonight - i saw a screening this evening of that edith piaf biopic la vie en rose which was simply amazing - the actress who played ms. piaf - marion cotillard will get nominated for an oscar - no doubt - she was brilliant!

In Your Dreams Avril!  —  Who raised this skank?!  Avril Lavigne has no damn manners.  Flipping the bird at the paps and spitting at their asses.  She recently said that she's been spitting at the paparazzi for two years and acts like it's no big deal.  Nasty ass!

Enrique: My new releazzz  —  ENRIQUE IGLESIAS is taking prescription medication because he is apparently suffering from crippling insomnia.  —  The Latino superstar, who recently split from tennis beauty ANNA KOURNIKOVA, has been having trouble nodding off for years.

Ageing heartthrob Tony Curtis faces bald truth  —  He set hearts racing alongside Marilyn Monroe in the 1959 classic Some Like It Hot, but these days ageing screen legend Tony Curtis is barely recognisable.  —  The 81-year-old acting veteran showed off his bald head and silver beard while shooting his latest movie, David And Fatima.

Product Placement  —  Lauren Conrad aka LC from The Hills replaced Lindsay Lohan as of Reebok and Vitaminenergy's event last night in Los Angeles.  From Lohan to LC?!  At least they saved on cash.  —  I mean what the hell were her duties?  "Here hold this shoe!  Ok!  Now hold this can!  Higher!