LiLo Exercises Away the Addiction  —  Lindsay Lohan left her "serious medical treatment program" at Promises rehab facility in Malibu yesterday for a quick session at a local gym.  Which of the twelve steps is the elliptical machine?  —  The rehabbing party girl checked into the posh dry …

Birkhead Sues Opri for Fraud, Malpractice  —  Larry Birkhead just filed a lawsuit against Debra Opri for allegedly defrauding him out of hundreds of thousands of dollars.  —  In a lawsuit filed Friday in Los Angeles County Superior Court, Birkhead claims an MSNBC reporter hooked him up with her.

Officials "Have No Idea" Why Wrong-Way Richie Can Drive  —  While Paris Hilton heads off to jail this week, her "Simple Life" cohort Nicole Richie is still cruising the streets with a valid drivers license — even though she has the same DUI charge under her belt and a record as a repeat offender!

Jennifer Aniston is a Smart Girl  —  As Usmagazine.com reported in April, Jennifer Aniston, 38, has signed on as the new spokeswoman for smartwater.  The former Friends star and yoga enthusiast is making signature smartwater bottles that will be in stores this July, and will appear …

JENNIFER ANISTON'S $5 MILLION ART CATALOG  —  Seeing is believing, as Star magazine knows.  That's why it illustrated its cover story about "Jen's $5 Million Tell-All!" with a shot of Jennifer Aniston carrying what is plainly the manuscript she's allegedly shopping around to publishers about her days with Brad Pitt.

Before the slammer, Paris planning some glamour  —  DAILY NEWS GOSSIP COLUMNISTS  —  Paris Hilton is getting ready for her closeup.  —  Sources say the jail-bound heiress has ordered a hair and makeup team to meet her at her Hollywood Hills home at 9 a.m. Monday.

Heidi Montag Nude in Playboy is Not Worth $1 Million  —  Well, it looks like all that money that Heidi Montag payed for her new breasts seems to have been a good investment.  According to a report in In Touch magazine this week, there is an offer of $1 Million to have Heidi Montag pose nude in Playboy magazine.

Jessica Simpson is Seducing You  —  Here's some pictures of Jessica Simpson in Los Angeles two days ago, and let me warn you - good luck trying to contain your unbridled lust.  What with the sweat pants, matted hair and the half gallon of ice cream I assume she just finished off, it's obvious - this succubus wants your soul.

Baldwin Bucked Up — Rushed to Hospital  —  TMZ has learned that actor Stephen Baldwin was rushed to a Texas hospital yesterday, after he was thrown from a real-life bucking bull during the taping of an upcoming reality show.  You know what happens when you mess with the bull!

Jessica Alba Pictures from Parade Magazine  —  Jessica Alba is in the new issue of Parade magazine this month (I've never heard of it either), and well, there isn't much to say about it other than she looks pretty good, if a bit on the boring side.  But what can you do?

Nicky Hilton Needs to Get Hit by a Drunk Driver  —  Paris' sister, Nicky, whom I've always believed was slightly less dumb and useless than her sister, disproved that belief of mine by not keeping her mouth shut about Paris' upcoming jail time.

Katie Price a.k.a Jordan Was Once A Big Boobed Baby Faced Babe  —  Here's some pictures of Katie Price aka Jordan.  I've never seen these before but I'm assuming they're old.  They have to be because there's no evidence of a used or weathered face.  Yes, Jordan at one time was a baby faced hottie!

In Your Dreams Avril!  —  Who raised this skank?!  Avril Lavigne has no damn manners.  Flipping the bird at the paps and spitting at their asses.  She recently said that she's been spitting at the paparazzi for two years and acts like it's no big deal.  Nasty ass!

MORE ON CELEBS & THEIR WEIGHT...  good evening everyone!  i'm running a little behind tonight - i saw a screening this evening of that edith piaf biopic la vie en rose which was simply amazing - the actress who played ms. piaf - marion cotillard will get nominated for an oscar - no doubt - she was brilliant!

Sweating It Out  —  Rehab is hard.  Well, it is if you stay in it.  Lindsay's been leaving the Promises (resort) for late night rendez-vous and excursions to the gym - doesn't Promises have a health club of its own?  Still, it's good she's exercising - sweating out all those toxins.

OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND  —  Lindsay Lohan's coke mirror isn't even cold and her "kissing practice" friend, Samantha Ronson, is already buddying up to competing troubled starlet Nicole Richie.  Ouch!  —  Let's hope this doesn't amount to any hard feelings, because if those three got into a fight, we would all lose.

Bonaduce Stuffs His Partridge into Stripper Panties  —  With Adam Corolla egging him on, Danny Bonaduce celebrated the end of his marriage last night by squeezing into teeny-tiny man-panties and showing off his stripper skills.  Look out ladies!  —  The redheaded former "Partridge Family" …