Paris DID Have to Spread 'Em!  —  TMZ has learned that Paris Hilton DID have to undergo a cavity search as part of the booking process at the jail.  —  The NY Post reported this morning that Paris was not required undergo the customary 'bend over and cough' search for contraband upon checking in to jail.

White Oprah Is A Fraud  —  White Oprah is just as much as a joke as her daughter's second rehab stint!  —  Posted in The NY Post: … Wow, she lied?  Nooo.  Why is she trying to impress us anyway?  I'd be more impressed if she'd pull a magic trick and disappear already.

Attorney: Akon not involved in any criminal conduct  —  FISHKILL — An attorney for Akon has released a statement on behalf his client that claims the singer did not engage in criminal conduct when he hoisted a KFEST concertgoer on his shoulders Sunday and hurled him off a stage.

Doody Bubble  —  Riddle me this?  Who the hell poses like this while waiting for your car?  Kim Kardashian needs to realize that just because Paris Hilton is in jail doesn't mean we need another no-talent skank to replace her ass.  She's probably pushing out the jizz she took in earlier.

Paris Behind Bars — Don't It Make My Blue Eyes Brown  —  Paris Hilton is going au naturel.  She's taken her contact lenses out and her eyes are now officially brown.  —  And we're told the makeup is also history.  A number of inmates have told her she's better looking without it.

Bruce Willis Almost Kicked Ashton Kutcher's Ass  —  Bruce Willis has thanked Will Smith for talking him out of confronting  —  Ashton Kutcher.  —  The 'Die Hard 4.0' action star confessed he flew into a jealous rage when he  —  first discovered his ex-wife Demi Moore was dating toyboy Ashton.

I am - Petra Nemcova Hot Tits of the Day  —  Tsunami Survivor Petra Nemcova is one of those girls who is pretty decent for an eastern European chick.  I know most Eastern European chicks you hear about are either models, or pornstars, or mail order brides you dream of because your rich …

Is Britney Spears dating her drug counselor?  —  Plus: Was Larry Birkhead's lawyer too interested in Howard K. Stern?  —  Is Britney Spears dating her drug counselor?  —  The 25-year-old rehabbed star insists that her relationship with John Sundahl is purely professional …

DIVORCE TIME IN HOLLYWOOD?!?  —  good morning!  this week national enquirer is screaming divorce for three hollywood couples - i'm not sure on the exact statistics of failed marriages but when it comes to celebrities it must be something like one out of every two marriages end in divorce!

Is Paris Getting Sprung???!!!  —  We're hearing Paris may be released tonight?!  Could it be true?  We're headed over the Lynwood to find out ...

Paris Coming Home Early????  —  We haven't 100% confirmed it yet, but we are hearing very loud murmurs that Paris Hilton is going to be released from prison within the next 24 hours.  —  Stay tuned!!!!  —  Update: Sources are telling us this is not likely to happen.

Michelle Trachtenberg Dating Nightclub Manager  —  Michelle Trachtenberg has a new boyfriend - and, as befits a love interest of Buffy the Vampire Slayer's little sister, he's a night owl.  —  Trachtenberg, 21, was seen all over Las Vegas over the weekend with Brandon Hirsch, 26, who is a manager at New York City hot spot Butter.

Tyra Takes New York  —  Los Angeles (E! Online) - America's Next Top Model might soon be hitting Broadway.  —  While producers of The Tyra Banks Show confirmed Wednesday that the supermodel's daytime chatfest will be shooting its third season in New York, speculation has begun as to whether …

Joe Francis Likes Jail  —  "Girls Gone Wild" amoeba Joe Francis has chosen to REMAIN in jail in Nevada.  Why?  Because if released he would automatically be extradited to Florida to face those other charges involving underage girls and a camera.  What's the difference between jail in Nevada and Florida?

Lindsay Shapes Up  —  Linds!  Look at you, all happy and smiley.  It's nice to see you looking healthy and in high spirits after last week.  With all this exercising, your already bangin' bod is going to be to die for!  —  SEE MORE AFTER THE JUMP »

The Unreality Show  —  Idol's Carrie channels Christ in Atlantic City.  In do-me heels.  Get real (like David Hyde Pierce).  —  Jesus took the wheel and got me on an Atlantic City junket to see petite powerhouse CARRIE UNDERWOOD put the Christ back in country.

Competitive Eating  —  As the fourth of July fast approaches, what better way to celebrate being at the top of the food chain than having a good ol' fashioned competitive eating contest?  IFOCE (International Federation of Competitive Eating) proudly recognizes my main man, Don "Moses" …