Beckham discovers America - but will America discover him?  —  Amid fireworks and ticker-tape, David Beckham was last night given his first taste of life as an all-American soccer star.  —  He was welcomed to the LA Galaxy football club in a bizarre ceremony at the team's ground in Carson, California.

Britney's "Stalker" Calls Children's Services  —  TMZ has learned someone called Children's Services on Britney Spears multiple times last week — but it turns out he's a nut.  —  Sources say Britney has a "stalker" who has become irritated with her.  The man began calling the L …

Kelly's Big Gamble  —  Now that Kelly Clarkson's "set for life," America's queen of pop rock risks it all with her controversial new album.  —  Kelly Clarkson hustles down her long driveway and opens the broken gate to her Spanish-style villa.  She's on the phone, talking animatedly …

Courtney Thorne-Smith Expecting a Baby  —  According to Jim actress Courtney Thorne-Smith is expecting a baby, her spokesperson confirms to PEOPLE.  —  The child, who is due this winter, will be the first for the actress and her husband, Roger Fishman, who owns a media company.

One Flew Into the Cuckoo's Deck  —  Jack Nicholson is fighting both the battle of the bulge — and the battle of the birds!  —  The 70-year-old tubby legend was snapped fending off a gull while on a boat in the Mediterranean, and ended up sharing his pizza with the aggressive bird.

Britney Spears Gets SUPA SHOCKED  —  Britney Spears unloads herself out of her car looking quite scared and shocked by paparazzi in the parking lot of a toy store in Los Angeles on Friday.  —  Dressed in a pair of short shorts and a wrapped belly-baring top, a bra-less Brit Brit was seen purchasing …

Nicole Richie Doesn't Like Turtlenecks  —  Joel Madden's dick must be cut, because Nicole Richie said she will only date a dude if his wang isn't wearing a turtleneck.  EOG quotes Nicole as saying, "The one thing I always look for in a guy is for them to be circumcised."

Lohan Gets Big Break In Small Claims Court  —  Lindsay Lohan is officially off the hook for damages she caused in a 2005 car crash, after the dude who owned the van she hit flaked on the court hearing.  —  TMZ was in Beverly Hills court today when representatives for Lindsay's insurance company arrived …

Katie Holmes' playdate with her 'mini-me' daughter  —  With a mop of dark, bobbed hair, piercing blue eyes and a snappy dress sense, there is no denying the family resemblance.  —  So as Katie Holmes took her one-year-old daughter, Suri, out for a spot of fresh air, it was very much a case of like mother, like daughter.

Olivia Munn Bikini Pictures from Men's Health  —  Well, it's the weekend, and I thought I'd leave you with some very nice Olivia Munn bikini pictures, courtesy of Men's Health magazine.  Now, I know she's not the most popular celebrity out there, but she's one of my favourites.

Starting to Show  —  We've been speculating for days, but looking at these photos and video of Jen and Violet at the zoo yesterday, there's little doubt that Ben and Jen are expecting their second!  Her publicist says the rumor is "100% not true", but the evidence is really becoming undeniable:

Dupri: Janet Jackson Inks With Island Urban  —  Janet Jackson has followed her boyfriend Jermaine Dupri from Virgin to Island Def Jam, Billboard has learned.  "She's on Island, but it's more or less [Def Jam CEO Antonio "L.A." Reid's] project," Dupri says.  "I let him deal with that on a day-to-day basis.

Lindsay's in a bad mood this morning  —  Caught Lindsay Lohan on Gmail chat a little while ago.  Had a bit of a longer conversation than last time.  I don't know about you but I get the feeling she really likes me.  I may ask her to winter formal.  —  NOTE: The "cal" person she's referring …

Paris Hilton's jail time investigated  —  LOS ANGELES - The Sheriff's Department opened an investigation Thursday into allegations that Paris Hilton received special treatment during her 23 days in jail for violating probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case, authorities said.

Jack the lard - why even at 70 he's still seducing waitresses  —  As we saw this week, Jack Nicholson's piled on the pounds.  But even at 70, he's still seducing waitresses and chasing starlets (not to mention trying his luckwith an outraged Nicole Kidman)  —  Given his advancing years …

Britney's ex calls in child protection over safety fears  —  Britney Spears has put her Beverly Hills mansion on the market for £3 million - just days after a probe into the safety of her swimming pool.  —  Ex-husband Kevin Federline called child protection services …