COMIC CLOBBERS COMIC IN L.A.  —  IT was fight night at an L.A. comedy club last week when Jon Lovitz roughed up Andy Dick over the murder of their "Saturday Night Live" colleague, Phil Hartman.  —  Laugh Factory owner Jamie Masada, who witnessed the assault, said, "Jon picked Andy up by the head …

Paris Singing a New Tune...or 10  —  RECOMMENDED (0)  —  Less than a month removed from her sojourn in a Los Angeles lockup, Paris Hilton is itching to make the transition from jailbird to songbird.  —  "I'm already working on my new record," Hilton tells E! Online.

SPECIAL STRESS  —  ALL'S not well with Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady.  While the two have put up a happy front for the cameras - and his family is even said to be flying out to Italy to spend time at the villa in Rome she recently acquired - our spies say Bundchen is upset that Brady's ex …

Katie Holmes Pregnant With Baby No.2?  —  She's snapped with tell-tale baby bump...  RSS Feeds  —  YOUR SHOUTS:  —  Katie Holmes sparked another round of pregnancy rumours when she arrived at the L.A. premiere of Hairspray in a clingy little black dress that revealed what looked like the beginnings of a baby bump.

Beckham may delay debut; Capello considers U.S. job  —  Injury may force soccer star to sit out Galaxy's game Saturday, and former Real Madrid coach says he has received an offer to coach in the U.S.  —  The rapidly unfolding David Beckham story took a couple of new twists Monday, one of them expected, the other somewhat surprising.

Tyler suits Paris to a tee  —  If it's Monday, Paris Hilton must have a new fella.  —  The next lucky passenger on the Valtrex express is Tyler Atkins, a 21-year-old T-shirt designer.  His label, Rock Stars and Angels, is available in trendy L.A. boutiques like Kitson.

Painfully thin Amy is shortlisted for Mercury Music Prize  —  Loved-up singer Amy Winehouse is pictured a shadow of her former self on the day she should have been celebrating her nomination for the Mercury Music Prize.  —  The star's once curvy figure has been reduced to just skin and protruding bone.

Tara Reid nearly falls out of her bikini  —  Tara Reid is a prime example of why young women should not get unnecessary cosmetic surgery.  I'm all for facelifts, my mom had one and the results are good and not obvious.  In 20 years I'll surely get one too.  (Hopefully there were be some high tech laser-type option at that point.)

Dave Chappelle — I'm So F**king Tired, Bitch!  —  TMZ has confirmed Dave Chappelle went to the hospital this past weekend because he was wacked out.  But Chappelle's rep told TMZ any wackiness was due to exhaustion — not drugs.  —  The rep says Dave went to the emergency room for "physical exhaustion."

Lily Allen Has More Nipples Than You  —  Pop star Lily Allen used her recent appearance on the British version of "Saturday Night Live" to reveal to the world that she's blessed — with a third nipple.  Does that make you randy?  —  Lily was part of a sketch when someone just happened to mention a third nipple.

Zac Efron: It Always Clicked With Vanessa  —  Zac Efron says that the on-screen chemistry between himself and Vanessa Hudgens was apparent as early as the casting sessions for their hit, High School Musical.  —  "For all of the partner things, me and Vanessa always got paired up," Efron …

Kirsten Dunst Needs a Bra... And Some Make Up... And a Shower  —  Wow!  Kirsten Dunst looks like ass.  And not the good kind of ass.  The bad kind.  We've seen her looking rough before, and frankly, her looks have been going downhill for a long time, but it's never been this bad.

Gisele's assets dwarf A-Rod's  —  Models are the new athletes!  —  Gisele Bundchen rakes in $33 million a year, the new Forbes list of the top 15 richest supermodels says.  —  That makes the Brazilian-born West Villager better paid than New York's most famous slugger, Alex Rodriguez …

Britney's puppy purchase riles Humane Society  —  Plus: Beckhams turn their sexy pictures into art for their new home  —  More woes for Britney Spears.  —  Last week, Child Protective Services was allegedly looking into whether her swimming pool was safe for kids, now the "Oops! …

Jaime Pressly Slams 'Ugly Betty' Over Plastic Surgery Message  —  Actress Jaime Pressly has blasted hit TV sitcom Ugly Betty because she fears the show sends out the wrong message about plastic surgery.  —  The new mom, whose show My Name Is Earl goes up against Ugly Betty on Thursday nights …