COMIC CLOBBERS COMIC IN L.A.  —  IT was fight night at an L.A. comedy club last week when Jon Lovitz roughed up Andy Dick over the murder of their "Saturday Night Live" colleague, Phil Hartman.  —  Laugh Factory owner Jamie Masada, who witnessed the assault, said, "Jon picked Andy up by the head …

Britney Spears to Host Las Vegas Club Opening  —  Britney Spears, a fixture on the Los Angeles club scene, will host the opening of LAX nightclub in Las Vegas next month, a club rep tells PEOPLE.  —  LAX, whose investors include Christina Aguilera and Nicole Richie's former fiancé DJ AM, opens Aug. 31 in the Luxor Hotel.

Paris Singing a New Tune...or 10  —  RECOMMENDED (0)  —  Less than a month removed from her sojourn in a Los Angeles lockup, Paris Hilton is itching to make the transition from jailbird to songbird.  —  "I'm already working on my new record," Hilton tells E! Online.

SPECIAL STRESS  —  ALL'S not well with Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady.  While the two have put up a happy front for the cameras - and his family is even said to be flying out to Italy to spend time at the villa in Rome she recently acquired - our spies say Bundchen is upset that Brady's ex …

Katie Holmes Pregnant With Baby No.2?  —  She's snapped with tell-tale baby bump...  RSS Feeds  —  YOUR SHOUTS:  —  Katie Holmes sparked another round of pregnancy rumours when she arrived at the L.A. premiere of Hairspray in a clingy little black dress that revealed what looked like the beginnings of a baby bump.

Beckham may delay debut; Capello considers U.S. job  —  Injury may force soccer star to sit out Galaxy's game Saturday, and former Real Madrid coach says he has received an offer to coach in the U.S.  —  The rapidly unfolding David Beckham story took a couple of new twists Monday, one of them expected, the other somewhat surprising.

Tyler suits Paris to a tee  —  If it's Monday, Paris Hilton must have a new fella.  —  The next lucky passenger on the Valtrex express is Tyler Atkins, a 21-year-old T-shirt designer.  His label, Rock Stars and Angels, is available in trendy L.A. boutiques like Kitson.

A Tara Reid Beach Solution: One Piece Bathing Suit!  —  I don't have anything against Tara Reid.  In fact, I actually like her.  But as a professional babe critic, I think she needs a one piece bathing suit.  Sure it's not as sexy as a bikini but having what looks like melted skin on your stomach isn't either.

Painfully thin Amy is shortlisted for Mercury Music Prize  —  Loved-up singer Amy Winehouse is pictured a shadow of her former self on the day she should have been celebrating her nomination for the Mercury Music Prize.  —  The star's once curvy figure has been reduced to just skin and protruding bone.

Lance Bass Recalls First Encounter with New Beau  —  Connecting with new boyfriend Pedro Andrade was a real high for Lance Bass: He first spotted him 35,000 feet up in the air.  —  "He was asleep in the back of the plane on the way over," the former 'N Sync star said of the Brazilian model …

Posh's desperate attempt to sell Brand Beckham to America  —  Victoria Beckham has tried to win over America with her charm, wit and fashion sense, and she's not ashamed to use her most powerful commodity - her marriage.  —  Following up their sexually charged photoshoot for W magazine …

Dave Chappelle — I'm So F**king Tired, Bitch!  —  TMZ has confirmed Dave Chappelle went to the hospital this past weekend because he was wacked out.  But Chappelle's rep told TMZ any wackiness was due to exhaustion — not drugs.  —  The rep says Dave went to the emergency room for "physical exhaustion."

Zac Efron: It Always Clicked With Vanessa  —  Zac Efron says that the on-screen chemistry between himself and Vanessa Hudgens was apparent as early as the casting sessions for their hit, High School Musical.  —  "For all of the partner things, me and Vanessa always got paired up," Efron …

Kirsten Dunst Needs a Bra... And Some Make Up... And a Shower  —  Wow!  Kirsten Dunst looks like ass.  And not the good kind of ass.  The bad kind.  We've seen her looking rough before, and frankly, her looks have been going downhill for a long time, but it's never been this bad.

A Different Kind of Bling: Bracelet Tracks Alcohol Consumption  —  Monitoring Device Like Lohan's Samples Sweat, Records Ethanol Levels  —  Strapping on stiletto heels just got a little bit harder for celebrity starlet Lindsay Lohan.  —  Lohan is now donning an alcohol-monitoring ankle bracelet along …

David Goes For The Goal  —  Uh, guys, what's going on here?  We smell a publicity stunt!  The Beckhams attended an event at CAA in Century City last night before heading off to a romantic dinner at The Little Door restaurant on 3rd street.  But then on their way back into that sexy, svelte car, this happened.

Lily Allen Has More Nipples Than You  —  Pop star Lily Allen used her recent appearance on the British version of "Saturday Night Live" to reveal to the world that she's blessed — with a third nipple.  Does that make you randy?  —  Lily was part of a sketch when someone just happened to mention a third nipple.

Gisele's assets dwarf A-Rod's  —  Models are the new athletes!  —  Gisele Bundchen rakes in $33 million a year, the new Forbes list of the top 15 richest supermodels says.  —  That makes the Brazilian-born West Villager better paid than New York's most famous slugger, Alex Rodriguez …