LOHAN LANE  —  BRACE yourselves, we've got another Lohan behind the wheel.  This time it's Lindsay's little sister, Ali, who was spotted over the weekend driving a golf cart around her Long Island neighborhood (left, with girlfriends).  Ali was with her big sis when she hopped a plane …

Madonna is told her little African baby may have to return home  —  Madonna's controversial adoption of an African baby was under threat last night amid accusations that the child welfare expert overseeing it has become too close to the case.  —  Penstone Kilembe has been banned …

SNAKE OIL CURE  —  CELEBS will go to great lengths to keep their skin looking young - Gwyneth Paltrow even uses snake venom to de- wrinkle.  A spy at Sonya Dakkar spa in Beverly Hills said Pal trow, a frequent customer, walked out with a line of Ultra Lux 9 products - including a cream that contains the spit of a snake.

Melanie Brown Bikini Pictures  —  Well, today we're having some Spice Girl bikini fever.  First we had Geri Halliwell, and now Mel B. Both look very good for their age, but we all know what we "really really want!"  Yes, Victoria Beckham bikini pictures!  Who cares about these girls anymore?!

SHEEN-RICHARDS WAR RESUMES  —  THE détente between Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards is over, and it's about to get very nasty again between the exes.  —  Sheen is trying to haul Richards into L.A. Family Court to get looser visitation rights with his daughters, Lola and Sam, that won't require him to be supervised.

Memo Pad: Faces and Names... Jump Street... Still Green?...  FACES AND NAMES: Though fashion magazines' September issues seem to contain ads for every clothing label under the sun, usually only one glamorous gal gets to grace the cover.  And in surveying this year's choices, it appears that editors …

Angelina Jolie has laughed off reports that she has split with Brad Pitt.  —  The Tombraider star revealed that the only time the pair argue is when they discuss politics.  —  "We actually argue politics at home" she told Total Film magazine "It is the only time we argue."

Kiss My Fat Ass!!  —  Tyra Banks spent her Sunday shooting a commercial in NYC for her talk show.  This fall her talk show has moved from Los Angeles to New York.  Lucky us.  I will say that Tyra looks hot.  I'm not understanding the commercial, but I'm guessing they are going to make it look …

Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillipe/Jake Gyllenhaal Rumours  —  Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillipe's marriage was one that I said to my husband I'd like ours to be like.  This is because the kids seemed to come first, and the woman had more power in the relationship, and really nice clothes and shoes.

Kate Walsh's Wild Bachelorette Party in Vegas  —  To sum up Kate Walsh's bachelorette party in two words: Oh, Doctor!  —  Before she takes her foray into marriage, the Private Practice star grabbed a group of girls, including former Grey's Anatomy castmate Sara Ramirez, and headed to Sin City for the pre-nuptial rite of passage.

Suri Sightings Are Always a Sweet Treat  —  We are totally loving the overload of cute Cruise family pics lately, especially since adorable Suri is the star.  Tom and Katie had their kicks on the dance floor this weekend in St Tropez, but they are making sure Suri is making the most of her experience overseas as well.

SEX SURPRISE  —  DIRECTOR Brett Ratner based a scene in "Rush Hour 3" on a sexual encounter he had with a transvestite.  Asked by The Advocate about the sequence "when the girl takes off her wig and Chris Tucker becomes angry and accuses her of being a man," Ratner responded, "That's from my personal experience.

Nicole Richie Decides to Stay in County Jail, Gets a Baby Present from Danny Bonaduce  —  In what I'm guessing is an attempt to preemptively diffuse potential public backlash following her stay in jail, Nicole Richie has opted to go ahead and just do her time in county jail, rather than attempt to get any kind of special treatment.

Another Rosie Blogs  —  Roseanne Barr took to her blog yesterday to talk about everything from the size of Barbara Walters head to pigs.  I'm sure she's talking about Babs, because she didn't get "View" job.  Rumors are that producers didn't think she was a big enough star.  Anyway, her's what Roseanne blogged:

Exes Vanessa Williams, Rick Fox Hook Up for Ugly Betty  —  Their last partnership may have ended in divorce, but Rick Fox and Vanessa Williams are making another go at it - at least onscreen.  Fox, 38, will join the cast of ABC's Ugly Betty in its second season, a source confirms to PEOPLE exclusively.

A dead ringer for Liza  —  Liza Minnelli is a familiar sight shopping in the East 60s, but someone at the neighborhood Gap could use a refresher course in recognizing local legends.  —  A Gatecrasher pal reports this recent sighting of her at the E. 66th and Third Ave. store, where she was being helped by a sales assistant.