Britney Targeted in Child Abuse Investigation  —  TMZ has learned Britney Spears is being investigated for possible child abuse.  —  An unscheduled hearing was held today at L.A. County Superior Court.  Present — Britney's lawyer, Dennis Wasser, K-Fed's attorney, Mark Vincent Kaplan …

Owen Wilson Issues a Statement  —  TMZ has obtained the following statement from Owen Wilson:  —  "I respectfully ask that the media allow me to receive care and heal in private during this difficult time."

Hulk Muscles Way to Crash Scene  —  A frantic Hulk Hogan got right to the scene of his son's extremely serious car crash last night, just moments after it happened.  —  WTVT has footage of the wrestler — clad in his usual tank top and bandana — talking with paramedics before his son Nick …

Dancing With the Stars — Spoilers!  —  Aaron Carter — best known for taking his dates to the beach.  He should be dancing with the dermatologist!  —  if this is the lineup, then I'm not watching!  What a waste of airtime..ABC's got a good think going, and just like American Idol …

Jake Gyllenhaal GAY!!  —  I received an e-mail last week that I decided to further investigate, regarding the sexuality of actor Jake Gyllenhaal.  The e-mail came from a man who is in the entertainment industry that has worked closely with Gyllenhaal and others.  Read the e-mail in "" below.

Nick's Mom Issues a Statement  —  TMZ has obtained a statement from the Linda Hogan, wife of Hulk and mother of Nick.  Her son was involved in a serious car accident in Florida on Sunday:  —  "My son Nick and a friend were involved in a car accident last night.

Add Zellweger to McCartney's let it be me list  —  Here's one fight we'd love to see: Renee Zellweger vs. Christie Brinkley.  —  Zellweger, 38, spent some animated face time with Beatle Paul McCartney on Saturday jamming to Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.

Jessica Alba Tells Schoolyard Crush to 'Look at Me Now'  —  High School Musical 2 stars Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens took home a bevy of surfboards at Sunday night's Teen Choice awards, but Jessica Alba had the last laugh on her own grade-school tormentor.  —  "I would like to dedicate …

KATIE HOLMES FORGOT HER FIRST CLASS MANNERS  —  Katie Holmes flew back (from Germany) via London on a British Airways first class flight alone recently, and she didn't make any friends onboard, according to another passenger.  An hour after take-off the flight attendant advised passengers …

For The Love Of.....  I love you....I really, really do, but I can't love you when you're flashing your Cinnabon with extra frosting.  I just can't!  I know you're out there doing your thing, but please!  I'm also happy that you wore panties, but next time triple up or bust out the Body Glove biker shorts.

OPRAH GIVES A BRIDE THE BLUES  —  WHAT Oprah wants, Oprah gets.  —  The talk-show queen is holding a star-studded fund-raiser for presidential wannabe Barack Obama on Sept. 8 at her $64 million estate near Santa Barbara, Calif., and she wanted out-of-town guests to be able to stay at the nearby San Ysidro Ranch.

2 Out of 3 Anchors Join Colbert in Wrist Stunt  —  Only Stephen Colbert could turn an ordinary wrist injury into a media crusade, perhaps revealing contrasts among television's three evening news anchors along the way.  —  The Comedy Central host broke his wrist before a taping of "The Colbert Report" in June.

Jennifer Aniston has a new tabloid boyfriend and he's named Brad  —  Jennifer Aniston has been linked with her costar Bradley Cooper after the two had dinner together.  They're going to work on the film He's Just Not That Into You, which has not started filming yet, and had dinner …

Vick: I Found Jesus  —  Speaking in a quiet, contrite voice, former NFL stud Michael Vick faced the media outside of a hotel in Richmond, VA — and accepted responsibility for his role in a dogfighting ring.  —  "I will redeem myself" said Vick, "I have to."

Jessica Simpson In A Tight Tight Tank Top!  —  It's been a while since we last saw Jessica Simpson looking hot out in public, but it was well worth the wait.  Man, does she look good!  If that tank top was any tighter, or a tad more see though, my briefs would spontaneously combust.