Britney Arrives for Face-to-Face Showdown with Kevin at Court  —  Britney Spears arrived at L.A. Superior Court Friday afternoon for a progress-report hearing on her ongoing custody battle with ex Kevin Federline.  —  She pulled up in her white Mercedes convertible (with the top up) …

Britney Goes on Foul-Mouthed Tirade  —  When asked by an "Extra" reporter in the hallway outside a Los Angeles Superior courtroom as to how she was doing, Britney Spears shouted out, ""Eat it, lick it, snort it, f*%k it!  " Spears walked back into the courtroom crying.  —  SHARE IT:

Brit Heads Home, No Ruling by Judge  —  The hearing is over.  —  Britney Spears has left the courtroom, escorted by her attorneys and several Sheriff's deputies.  She looked extremely upset.  Kevin also walked out with his attorney, but looked very happy.

Violet Affleck: I Have Mommy's Dimples  —  Violet Affleck flashes her cute little dimples while out at a Central Park playground with mom Jennifer Garner in New York City Friday afternoon.  —  Violet, 22 months, wore her favorite shoes again, Umi Kids Mathilda Mary Janes in pink.

BARF!!!!!  Chrissy Crocker Recreates Brit's Cooch Flash!  —  WHY?!  WHY?!  WHY?!  WHY?!  —  That's all I can say.  Chrissy Crocker showed his lil' crocker (very little) outside of Hyde last night.  Well, he keeps it completely hairless like Brit.  Why am I even looking?

Judge orders rapper T.I. released on $3 million bond  —  Rapper T.I. will be released on $3 million bond —$1 million secured by his Henry County house and the rest cash— but he will be a prisoner in his home until he is tried on gun charges.  —  U.S. Magistrate Alan Baverman agreed …

Trick or Treat or TomKat  —  Halloween as far as I'm concerned is the highest and most important of the holidays.  How can you not have fun getting dressed up?  How?  Put on a wig or a crazy outfit and you've got instant fun.  It always works for me.  I imagine it would work for TomKat as well.

D.A. Will Not Charge Orlando Bloom  —  TMZ has learned that the L.A. County District Attorney will not file charges against actor Orlando Bloom over the accident he was involved in on October 12th.  —  Story developing ...

Bai Ling Topless Pictures from Photographie Magazine  —  It's not like we haven't seen Bai Ling's nipples more than we really need to, but here are some new Bai Ling topless pictures from Photographie magazine, in which we can truly appreciate just how ginormous Bai Ling's nipples really are.  Weird.

Britney and K-Fed's Custody Hearing Underway  —  Today's closed hearing has begun.  All media — including TMZ — have been asked to leave the courtroom.  —  Before that happened, our observers noted that as K-Fed walked into the room, his eyes were on Britney the entire time.

Jail Time for Jason Wahler  —  TMZ has learned that reality "star" Jason Wahler is in a Washington state jail... serving time!  —  The 20-year-old former "Laguna Beach"-er is currently in an Issaquah, Wash. jail for 30 days on a fourth degree assault charge and a charge of a minor exhibiting signs …

Has ruddy-faced Renee Zellweger taken beauty treatments too far?  —  Judging by her latest red carpet appearance, Renee Zellweger's quest for flawless skin has completely back fired.  —  The usually radiant actress shocked onlookers as she stepped out at the premiere of her new film Bee Movie looking ruddy and red-faced.

Some Wild Animal Is Attacking Sharon Stone!  —  That thing is HIDEOUS!  The blanket-coat-thing, not Sharon Stone.  It's so offensive, but why do I want to nuzzle all around it?  You can't tell me it's faux either, because she's at a Fendi event.  Poor animals gave their life to be worn by that tired old vagina!

Britney Changes — Again!  —  Brit Brit just walked out of the courtroom while the hearing and took a 10-minute break.  She walked into the bathroom and presto change-o! — she changed her dark black sunglasses for brown ones.  She also took her hair down.  It's intermission y'all!

Yes, It's True: Lynne Spears to Write Parenting Book  —  Britney Spears' mother Lynne Spears is writing a book on parenting for Christian publisher Thomas Nelson, Usmagazine.com has confirmed.  —  "We've signed her to a deal," a spokesman for Thomas Nelson tells Us.

Double Take  —  I don't think Jessica Alba has a sister, but she may have a decoy.  It's probably her cousin or something.  Maybe her daddy did it with her mommy's sister.  Ugh, why do I even care?  Anyway, I thought it was funny for like a second.  Now I can go back to watching Tyra Banks.

Teresa Palmer, the new Wonder Woman?  —  The director of one of Actress Teresa Palmer's most recent movies dropped us a line to say the foxy blonde starlet has won the much coveted part of Wonder Woman in George Miller's "Justice League".  —  Palmer was one of a handful of actresses …