J.Lo's twins will live the high life  —  Jennifer Lopez is leaving no doubt she's expecting boy and girl twins — and that they will grow up in the sort of luxury befitting royals.  In fact, the 38-year-old mama-to-be bought pink and blue onesies: one monogrammed "princess," the other, "prince."

Why they now look up to Paris  —  Paris Hilton is being hailed as a hero after "rescuing" a little person injured as part of an Oompa Loompa act during Art Basel Miami Beach Saturday night.  —  The shocking accident happened during a Beacher's Madhouse performance, sponsored by Ariva, at Cameo nightclub.

HATE MY EX  —  EVA Longoria apparently doesn't live by the best-friend code of "don't be nice to the ex."  When her close pal Jessica Simpson got wind that Longoria was hanging with Simpson's ex, John Mayer, the other night at Gold Bar on Broome Street, she "went nuts," said an insider.

Britney Gets Caught Short  —  Britney Spears has been having a rough run of things lately - but last night, she was back to her old, cheeky self!  The Queen B had a bit of a wardrobe malfunction Monday night while attempting to exit her Mercedes courtesy of her scandalously short dress.

Quiet Riot Singer Died of Cocaine Overdose  —  Nevada's Clark County Coroner has ruled that singer Kevin Dubrow, from '80s metal band Quiet Riot, died of an accidental cocaine overdose.  The cause of death was confirmed after toxicology results came in Monday.

Queen Latifah laughs off gossip  —  'There ain't gonna be no wedding,' singer says  —  I caught up with Queen Latifah (and Gabrielle Union) while they were in town this weekend with Morris Chestnut and Faizon Love to promote their upcoming Christmas flick, ''The Perfect Holiday" (opening Wednesday), which Queen Latifah also produced.

Side Dish  —  Madonna will help Hillary Clinton combat the Oprah-powered campaign of Barack Obama.  Her Madgesty, whose charity work in Malawi has been supported by Bill Clinton's foundation, tells us she stands ready to serve.  Meanwhile, Johnny Depp is playing the campaign for laughs.

Courtney Love on Frances Bean: 'Teenagers Are Hard'  —  She may be known for her wild antics and trouble with the law but Courtney Love is trying her best for daughter Frances Bean.  —  Love, 43, says in a new U.K. magazine interview that she recently let 15-year-old Franny (as she calls her) …

Jodie Foster publicly acknowledges her lesbian partner for the first time  —  Actress Jodie Foster paid tribute to "my beautiful Cydney" - her lesbian partner of more than 15 years - in a thank you speech at an awards ceremony, finally confirming Hollywood's most open secret.

Slut Bag Stare!  —  If Kim Kardashian was a Care Bear, she'd be Slut Bag Bear and her powers would be shooting used up jizz from her belly to destroy evil.  Seriously, that belt is no joke.  She probably keeps condoms in there.  Yeah, I made a funny.  Like she uses condoms.

ROCKER'S GIRL IN CLUB CATFIGHT  —  BAD boy rocker Steven Tyler was grilled by cops early Saturday after his girlfriend got into a catfight with a Seminole Indian woman at trendy Hollywood, Fla., nightclub Pangaea, witnesses report.  —  The legendary Aerosmith frontman and his blond bombshell girlfriend …

LAPD Investigating Burglary at Charlize Theron's Home  —  The LAPD has confirmed to Us that there is an investigation in progress concerning a burglary at Charlize Theron's house in the Hollywood Hills.  —  "There was a break in reported at her home sometime over the weekend between the 6th and 8th," Officer Ana Aguirre tells Us.

Anne Heche's Ex: Show Me the Money!  —  What does five years of marriage to Anne Heche earn you?  If ex Coley Laffoon has his way, $22,604 dollars a month!  —  In court documents obtained by PageSix.com, Coley requests an increase to the $15,000 a month in spousal and child support that he currently receives.

"Big Shots" downsized at ABC  —  LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - In a surprising move as the Hollywood writers strike depletes networks' stocks of fresh programming, ABC has benched freshman comedy-drama "Big Shots," a low-rated male version of "Desperate Housewives."

Put Some Damn Pants On!  —  Ashanti's little sister Shi Shi.  —  She-she should know better than to wear a tight sweater as a dress - her legs look like full potato sacks!  I think this girl has high aspirations to be a rap video whore or maybe to just sleep with someone quasi-famous.

Cage to star in Proyas' 'Knowing'  —  Summit to finance, distribute thriller  —  Nicolas Cage is set to star in "Knowing," a thriller to be directed by Alex Proyas.  Summit Entertainment will fully finance and distribute the pic, which begins production March 17 in Melbourne.

Apologetic Vick gets 23-month sentence on dogfighting charges  —  RICHMOND, Va. — Michael Vick was sentenced to prison Monday for running a dogfighting operation and will stay there longer than two co-defendants, up to 23 months, because he lied about his involvement when he was supposed …