K-Fed's Lawyer to Brit — I'll Slap You Down B!  —  KFed's lawyer is fed up with Britney Spears, and we're told he's going in deep — for sanctions!  —  Sources connected with the case tell TMZ powerhouse lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan is furious that Britney was too sick to depo yesterday morning but not too sick to party in the evening.

EVA'S NOT DESPERATE OVER SEX GAL'S CLAIM  —  EVA Longoria isn't concerned that a French model claims she slept with Longo ria's husband, Tony Parker, after meeting him at their wedding.  The "Desperate Housewives" star held a huge feast in Parker's honor at their Hollywood Hills home the night …

STRICTLY BUSINESS  —  RYAN Gosling was photographed last week with "Heroes" cutie Hayden Panettiere.  But Tuesday night, he only had eyes for Heath Ledger's ex, Michelle Williams.  The two had dinner at Piadina and were caught by onlookers having a cozy cigarette outside the West 10th Street eatery.

Julia Roberts Talks About Golden Globes and Holiday Traditions  —  Julia Roberts says her Golden Globe nomination was a "thrilling" moment in her normally blissful, domestic life.  —  "Usually the triumph of my day is everybody making it to the potty," she cracks in an interview with Matt Lauer …

Charisma Lacking in the Dollar Department?  —  According to Charisma Carpenter, the writers' strike is slaying her earning capacity.  —  The former Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel star claims that the ongoing Writers Guild of America walkout has left her unemployed …

VH1 'DESTROYS' BUSTED MODEL  —  "AMERICA'S Most Smartest Model" contestant Andre Birleanu, 25, may be America's most ticked-off model.  —  The notoriously aggressive contestant of the VH1 show, which tests flighty models on their brains and their brawn, told Page Six that the cable network is responsible for "destroying" him.

Confirmed: Jessica Simpson's Blonde Ambition Goes Straight to DVD  —  Maybe Jessica Simpson should stick with reality television - her latest attempt at big screen success won't even make it to the big screen.  —  Blonde Ambition, as Us first reported in August, is going straight to DVD.

The Year In Charts 2007: An Early Peek  —  Daughtry, Fergie and Akon are among the 2007 chart leaders in the 387 tallies that comprise Billboard's Year in Music & Touring issue, which will be on newsstands tomorrow (Dec. 14) and online at Billboard.com and Billboard.biz.

Jennifer Lopez Is Back in Black and NYC  —  Jennifer Lopez traded in her usually sky-high heels for some simple ballet flats and an incognito hat out shopping in NYC with her family yesterday.  If she was out shopping for more baby stuff, I'm sure we'll hear all about it soon enough …

AMERICAN IDOL - ABDUL'S URINE STOLEN BY FAN  —  AMERICAN IDOL judge PAULA ABDUL once experienced theft at the hands of an obsessed fan - after a medical employee stole a sample of her urine.  The 45-year-old was shocked when her doctor asked her to provide a second urine sample …

Hulk Hogan: My Main Concern in Life Is My Son  —  With his family problems of the past year made public, Hulk Hogan still says he's "doing okay" - and right now, it's his son, Nick, who most concerns him.  —  "I had some crazy days, and some things that caught me off guard," …

STARS ONLY FED  —  IT was a "Full House" reunion at the Bowery Hotel's Lobby Bar Wednesday night, when the Olsen twins, Ashley and Mary-Kate, rolled in with their TV dad, Bob Saget, and their "Uncle Jesse," John Stamos, to drink and party till the wee hours.  Ashley...

Us Weekly's Worst Dressed Celeb of the Year Is....  Oops!  She did it again.  And again.  And again.  —  With her crazy wig collection and continuing downward style spiral, Us Weekly has named Britney Spears — who was recently offered the role of the Virgin Mary — the worst dressed star of the year.

He's just a friend, sez Rosanna Arquette  —  Rosanna Arquette swears she and Paul McCartney are just friends.  But the American actress continues to linger in England, where she and Sir Paul attended Monday's Led Zeppelin reunion concert.  Macca brought along his family.

GOTTA BELIEVE  —  THE growing friendship between Will Smith and Tom Cruise has led to speculation that Smith and his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, have joined Cruise's Scientology sect.  Cruise accompanied Smith to Tuesday night's premiere of "I Am Legend" at the Theater at Madison Square Garden.

Marcia Cross Without Clothes in the Shower  —  Marcia Cross tried her best to prevent photos of her without clothes from being published.  Here's the story:  —  A firm hired to remove garbage from the star's Los Angeles home found over 200 personal photographs of her among the trash …

Tori Amos Doesn't F**k Around  —  Last night at her San Diego show, Tori Amos showed two girls that she doesn't mess around.  Two girls were seated in the front row and I guess they kept coming and going as they pleased.  While playing "Code Red", Tori stopped halfway through and told the girls "Get the f**k out of my show!