Brit Has Bailed  —  We need some of them vitamins Brit takes.  Britney left the courthouse after circling, entering, leaving, circling and finally bailing.  —  When Britney got out of the car at the courthouse, she screamed at photogs, “Move back, I'm scared.  Stop it, stop it.

CRUISE PULLS YOU A LITTLE CLOSER TO XENU  —  You know that wacky Tom Cruise commercial for Scientology that was floating around the Internet and was then promptly removed from the Internet?  That's it up there.  It's about nine minutes long, but it'll be the weirdest nine minutes of video …

WTF Happened to Jessica Biel's Face!?  —  Can someone please explain to me what the hell is going on with Jessica Biel's face?  Now, I know she's not wearing any make-up, and that most celebrities really aren't anything special without make-up, but Holy Crap!  It's like someone scraped all the pretty off of Jessica Biel.

Johnny Depp's £1m gift for Great Ormond Street, the hospital that saved his daughter's life  —  Johnny Depp secretly visited Great Ormond Street Hospital yesterday to donate £1 million of his own money to thank staff for saving his daughter's life.

Paris Goes Down, Again — Caught on Tape!  —  Paris Hilton ate s**t last night while getting out of her car.  —  Sucks for her — but hilarious for everyone else!  —  See Also  — Paris' Menage a Seven

That's my kid, man: dad to deliver the good news  —  Not everyone agrees with Nicole Kidman's parents being at the business end of her pregnancy.  —  IT MIGHT be a dad's job to deliver his daughter to the school dance, but what about delivering her babies?

Exclusive: Keri Russell Cast as Wonder Woman!  —  Fanboys and girls the world over are about to find out what I've known all along: Keri Russell is a superhero!  —  Reliable sources confirm to me exclusively that my reigning BFF is in advanced talks to voice the title role in Warner Bros' straight-to-DVD animated Wonder Woman feature.

It's Official: Cast Returns for High School Musical 3  —  All six of the High School Musical stars have officially signed on for High School Musical 3: Senior Year, Walt Disney Studios Motion Picture Productions announced Monday.  —  Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale, Corbin Bleu …

Dannielynn has to wear an eyepatch  —  Thank God Larry Birkhead is around to keep us updated on the excruciating minutiae of his life.  That's a fancy way of saying “Thank God Larry Birkhead is pimping out his daughter."  Because let's be honest, Dannielynn is really the other thing Birkhead's got going for him, gossip-wise.

Matthew McConaughey: I Lost My Virginity at Age 15  —  Matthew McConaughey talks the birds and the bees in the February issue of Playboy.  —  When asked when he lost his virginity, he tells the magazine, “Fifteen."  —  How'd it happen?  —  “None of your business,” he says.  “I don't tell bedroom tales.

Is Beyonce pregnant?  —  PALS HINT AT SINGER'S JOY MUM-TO-BE 1  —  Since her secret wedding last month, Beyonce Knowles has been glowing even more than usual.  —  And friends are suggesting the marriage isn't the only thing she has kept under wraps.  —  Sources close to the Crazy …

Mary J. Blige named in steroid report  —  Grammy-winning singer Mary J. Blige blasted a report Sunday night linking her and other A-list celebrities to doctors and pharmacists targeted in a statewide steroid investigation.  —  Blige was identified in the Albany Times Union Sunday as being among …

Katie Holmes Just Needs To Stop  —  What in Gloria Vanderbilt is going on with Katie Holmes?  She just needs to dye her hair white already.  Get it over with.  She's f**king turning into Carol Channing.  That's probably Tommy's plan.  The gays love some Channing.