Brit Has Bailed  —  We need some of them vitamins Brit takes.  Britney left the courthouse after circling, entering, leaving, circling and finally bailing.  —  When Britney got out of the car at the courthouse, she screamed at photogs, “Move back, I'm scared.  Stop it, stop it.

CRUISE PULLS YOU A LITTLE CLOSER TO XENU  —  You know that wacky Tom Cruise commercial for Scientology that was floating around the Internet and was then promptly removed from the Internet?  That's it up there.  It's about nine minutes long, but it'll be the weirdest nine minutes of video …

No Visitation for Brit  —  The Commissioner has just ruled that Britney will not have visitation restored, at least until the next hearing on February 19.  —  The order came after the testimony several people, including two LAPD cops who responded to the craziness a week ago Thursday …

WTF Happened to Jessica Biel's Face!?  —  Can someone please explain to me what the hell is going on with Jessica Biel's face?  Now, I know she's not wearing any make-up, and that most celebrities really aren't anything special without make-up, but Holy Crap!  It's like someone scraped all the pretty off of Jessica Biel.

Johnny Depp's £1m gift for Great Ormond Street, the hospital that saved his daughter's life  —  Johnny Depp secretly visited Great Ormond Street Hospital yesterday to donate £1 million of his own money to thank staff for saving his daughter's life.

Exclusive: Keri Russell Cast as Wonder Woman!  —  Fanboys and girls the world over are about to find out what I've known all along: Keri Russell is a superhero!  —  Reliable sources confirm to me exclusively that my reigning BFF is in advanced talks to voice the title role in Warner Bros' straight-to-DVD animated Wonder Woman feature.

Paris Goes Down, Again — Caught on Tape!  —  Paris Hilton ate s**t last night while getting out of her car.  —  Sucks for her — but hilarious for everyone else!  —  See Also  — Paris' Menage a Seven

Katharine McPhee And Her Funbag.  —  I don't know when this picture was taken but Katharine McPhee's funbag is lot more convenient than the funbags I normally write about on the site.  This one has a place to keep your wallet, keys, smokes and it doesn't complain when you leave the toilet seat up or look at other girls.

That's my kid, man: dad to deliver the good news  —  Not everyone agrees with Nicole Kidman's parents being at the business end of her pregnancy.  —  IT MIGHT be a dad's job to deliver his daughter to the school dance, but what about delivering her babies?

Katie Holmes Just Needs To Stop  —  What in Gloria Vanderbilt is going on with Katie Holmes?  She just needs to dye her hair white already.  Get it over with.  She's f**king turning into Carol Channing.  That's probably Tommy's plan.  The gays love some Channing.

Hilary Duff Denies Lip-Synching  —  Hilary Duff's camp is hitting back at reports that the actress and singer was caught lip-synching during a concert stop in Mexico this past weekend.  —  “She was not lip-synching,” her reps tell PEOPLE.  “It was faulty equipment.  There was no sound coming out, but she was singing.”

Cover Girl  —  Who's that lovely lady on January/February's Detail Magazine?  It's that little twinkie, Zac Efron.  He actually has a touch of masculinity.  Just a touch.  I think they had to Photoshop make-up OFF of him, because he never leaves home with full foundation and eyelashes.

I'm stupid now  —  Brace yourselves, for that social-TV-internet phenomenon Skins is ready for its second coming.  —  In time-honoured tradition, here are TEN things I can tell you about the new series of Skins:  —  1. Series two is set six months after the conclusion of the first.