EXCLUSIVE: The AP Has Written Britney Spears' Obituary  —  The Associated Press began preparing Britney Spears' obituary within the past month, Usmagazine.com has learned.  —  “We are not wishing it, but if Britney passed away, it's easily one of the biggest stories in a long time,” AP entertainment editor Jesse Washington tells Us.

Penns split after Miller time  —  There's never a simple reason for a couple to part after 20 years.  But if Sienna Miller didn't cause Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn to split up, some claim she may not have been a good influence.  —  A source recalls a party in a suite at a New York hotel where they both were staying.

Demi Moore on Ashton, Aging and Parenthood  —  Despite having three daughters, Demi Moore does her best not to overwhelm husband Ashton Kutcher with girl power at home.  —  “We're loaded with females,” the actress, 45, admits to V magazine for its spring preview issue, on sale Monday.

TOM CRUISE “IS TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY INDOCTRINATED”  —  By now you've undoubtedly seen “The Video” (on the off chance you haven't, Gawker still has it up), in which it is established beyond all reasonable doubt that Tom Cruise, the once-irresistible leading man from such American classics …

Amy Winehouse rushes to visit jailed husband after he threatens divorce  —  Amy Winehouse dashed to visit jailed husband Blake Fielder-Civil today amid claims he's threatening to divorce the troubled star.  —  Blake, who is currently on remand in Pentonville prison for alleged assault …

Daniel Baldwin & His Wife Have a Girl  —  Daniel Baldwin and his wife, Joanne Smith-Baldwin, have welcomed a daughter, PEOPLE has learned exclusively.  —  Avis Ann Baldwin was born Thursday at 12:59 a.m. at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles.  She weighed in at 7 lbs. 10 oz.

Paps Busted After Crazy Britney Chase  —  TMZ has learned that four paparazzi were arrested for reckless driving last night after chasing Britney Spears' car around Mission Hills, Calif. — and four more were pulled over for driving crazazy-like.  —  Around 11:20 PM last night …

X17 XCLUSIVE: Britney's Not Pregnant - Period!  —  Bloody hell!  What does it take to prove to people that Britney is NOT pregnant?!  We told y'all those pix of her shopping for pregnancy tests were a set up, but we've got the proof!!!  —  Check out the photographic evidence, if you dare!

Owen's Pipe Dream  —  We don't know if Owen Wilson is a big Weezer fan, but he certainly has no problem with getting himself a hash pipe.  —  Looking a lot healthier since his suicide attempt a few months ago, and because it had to be 4:20 somewhere in the world, The Wedding Crashers star …

Lindsay Lohan hits the black carpet for ‘Cloverfield’ premiere  —  HOLLYWOOD — A fierce-looking Lindsay Lohan made a triumphant return to the premiere circuit Wednesday night for the mysterious monster flick Cloverfield.  —  Matching the black carpet, Lohan wowed in a black mini …

Natalie Imbruglia Bikini Pictures  —  Well, these Natalie Imbruglia bikini pictures are a nice surprise.  The Australian one-hit wonder from back in the '90s showed off her still impressive physique while on holiday.  I honestly have no idea what Natalie Imbruglia has been doing for the last 10 years …

First look: ‘X-Files’ returns to theaters, minus alien mythology  —  LOS ANGELES — The sequel is out there.  —  The conspiracy theories will not be.  —  Ten years after the first film and six years after the show went off the air, The X-Files returns to theaters with Fox Mulder …

Rachael Ray Doesn't Like Dunkin' Donuts Coffee Any More Than We Do  —  And if you give me that swill again, expect to get hit with this.  —  Photo: Getty Images  —  A friend of Grub Street writes us: … If this is true, it's is the first thing we've read that makes us like Rachael Ray.

Pete Doherty Has “Sore Nipples”  —  London, England (BANG) - Pete Doherty is wearing his girlfriend's bras to protect his “sore nipples".  —  The troubled Babyshambles rocker, who is in training for this year's Flora London Marathon, complains his T-shirts are chafing his chest …

Sigh......  Thanks to an excellent photographer, tons of make-up, bright lights, photoshop and gallons of white flour and a few prayers, Kiki Dunst doesn't look completely tragic in the new Spring Miu Miu ads.  It pains me to say this, because I can't stand the slop of oatmeal.

Another Britney Spears Upskirt Sans Underwear  —  Fishnet stockings are not a replacement for underwear.  While we admire your attempt at finding an alternative to simply going completely, outright commando in a tiny skirt, loose weave fishnets don't actually cover up very much.

Kiefer Sutherland to Get Out of Jail Monday  —  After 48 days behind bars, Kiefer Sutherland will be released from incarceration Monday morning, a Glendale City Jail rep tells PEOPLE.  —  “He'll be let out the front door just like everyone else,” Officer John Balian says.  “I have no idea who'll be picking him up.”