EXCLUSIVE: The AP Has Written Britney Spears' Obituary  —  The Associated Press began preparing Britney Spears' obituary within the past month, Usmagazine.com has learned.  —  “We are not wishing it, but if Britney passed away, it's easily one of the biggest stories in a long time,” AP entertainment editor Jesse Washington tells Us.

Britney's Bizarre Comments from the Shower  —  During a strange radio interview with one of Britney Spears's friends on Thursday, the pop singer's voice suddenly came on the line, speaking from the shower.  —  “Get out, I'm naked, get out!"  Spears is heard telling pal Sam Lutfi as he carries …

Lily Allen has lost her baby  —  The singer, 22, had a miscarriage after returning from a romantic holiday with boyfriend ED SIMONS, 37.  A source said: “They are in a state of shock."  —  In shock ... Lily Allen and  —  Ed are distraught  —  Xposure  —  The heartbroken singer …

X17 XCLUSIVE: Britney's Not Pregnant - Period!  —  Bloody hell!  What does it take to prove to people that Britney is NOT pregnant?!  We told y'all those pix of her shopping for pregnancy tests were a set up, but we've got the proof!!!  —  Check out the photographic evidence, if you dare!

TOM CRUISE “IS TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY INDOCTRINATED”  —  By now you've undoubtedly seen “The Video” (on the off chance you haven't, Gawker still has it up), in which it is established beyond all reasonable doubt that Tom Cruise, the once-irresistible leading man from such American classics …

Pierce Brosnan is Shirtless, Wife in Bikini  —  Former James Bond Pierce Brosnan and his wife Keely Shaye Smith go for a dip in the ocean in Kauai, Hawaii on Wednesday.  —  Pierce, 54, was seen shirtless on the beach horsing around with a little boy (not his son Dylan or Paris).

Daniel Baldwin & His Wife Have a Girl  —  Daniel Baldwin and his wife, Joanne Smith-Baldwin, have welcomed a daughter, PEOPLE has learned exclusively.  —  Avis Ann Baldwin was born Thursday at 12:59 a.m. at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles.  She weighed in at 7 lbs. 10 oz.

Demi Moore on Ashton, Aging and Parenthood  —  Despite having three daughters, Demi Moore does her best not to overwhelm husband Ashton Kutcher with girl power at home.  —  “We're loaded with females,” the actress, 45, admits to V magazine for its spring preview issue, on sale Monday.

Amy Winehouse rushes to visit jailed husband after he threatens divorce  —  Amy Winehouse dashed to visit jailed husband Blake Fielder-Civil today amid claims he's threatening to divorce the troubled star.  —  Blake, who is currently on remand in Pentonville prison for alleged assault …

Penns split after Miller time  —  There's never a simple reason for a couple to part after 20 years.  But if Sienna Miller didn't cause Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn to split up, some claim she may not have been a good influence.  —  A source recalls a party in a suite at a New York hotel where they both were staying.

Owen's Pipe Dream  —  We don't know if Owen Wilson is a big Weezer fan, but he certainly has no problem with getting himself a hash pipe.  —  Looking a lot healthier since his suicide attempt a few months ago, and because it had to be 4:20 somewhere in the world, The Wedding Crashers star …

Sigh......  Thanks to an excellent photographer, tons of make-up, bright lights, photoshop and gallons of white flour and a few prayers, Kiki Dunst doesn't look completely tragic in the new Spring Miu Miu ads.  It pains me to say this, because I can't stand the slop of oatmeal.

Another Britney Spears Upskirt Sans Underwear  —  Fishnet stockings are not a replacement for underwear.  While we admire your attempt at finding an alternative to simply going completely, outright commando in a tiny skirt, loose weave fishnets don't actually cover up very much.

Rachael Ray Doesn't Like Dunkin' Donuts Coffee Any More Than We Do  —  And if you give me that swill again, expect to get hit with this.  —  Photo: Getty Images  —  A friend of Grub Street writes us: … If this is true, it's is the first thing we've read that makes us like Rachael Ray.

Natalie Imbruglia Bikini Pictures  —  Well, these Natalie Imbruglia bikini pictures are a nice surprise.  The Australian one-hit wonder from back in the '90s showed off her still impressive physique while on holiday.  I honestly have no idea what Natalie Imbruglia has been doing for the last 10 years …