EXCLUSIVE: The AP Has Written Britney Spears' Obituary  —  The Associated Press began preparing Britney Spears' obituary within the past month, Usmagazine.com has learned.  —  “We are not wishing it, but if Britney passed away, it's easily one of the biggest stories in a long time,” AP entertainment editor Jesse Washington tells Us.

Lohan to work in morgue as punishment  —  LOS ANGELES - Lindsay Lohan is about to see dead people.  —  The 21-year-old actress will soon be working at a morgue as part of her punishment for misdemeanor drunken driving, her attorney, Blair Berk, told a judge Thursday.

Lily Allen has lost her baby  —  The singer, 22, had a miscarriage after returning from a romantic holiday with boyfriend ED SIMONS, 37.  A source said: “They are in a state of shock."  —  In shock ... Lily Allen and  —  Ed are distraught  —  Xposure  —  The heartbroken singer …

Dr. Phil says he regrets statement on Britney  —  LOS ANGELES — Phil McGraw says his recent visit to Britney Spears in the hospital was appropriate.  His only regret: issuing a statement about it.  —  “Was it helpful to the situation?  Regrettably, no. It was not, and I have to acknowledge that and I do …

Wardrobe disaster: Fergie forgets to look in the mirror before stepping onstage  —  She may have sold millions of records and have assistants to ensure she looks flawless, but The Black Eyed Peas singer Stacy “Fergie” Ferguson can still have a wardrobe malfunction.

Amy Winehouse Shouts ‘I Love You’ to Jailed Husband  —  Dispelling rumors of an impending divorce, Amy Winehouse declared her devotion to incarcerated husband Blake Fielder-Civil Friday.  “I love you handsome, you gorgeous one,” she shouted across the packed courtroom as he was led back to jail.

Photo of Fat Eminem  —  Photo courtesy of the National Enquirer  —  Eminem suffered a health scare over the holidays and was hospitalized for complications from pneumonia along with heart problems that may have been related.  He was reported to have gained a lot of weight and to now be over 200 pounds.

TOM IN GROUND ZERO TANTRUM  —  TOM Cruise brands federal officials “liars” and takes credit for saving the lives of hundreds of supposedly poisoned workers at Ground Zero in a wacky new Scientology video.  —  In the promotional tape, the star states, with a scary gleam in his eye …

Double Oh No!  —  Pierce Brosnan and his gorgeous wife, Keely Shaye Smith, had a whale of a time on the island of Kauai on Wednesday.  —  Pierce was also spotted horsing around in the sand with one of his sons.  This family clearly has a lot of love to give.  —  See Also

EVERYTHING ROSIE COMIN' UP  —  MUST be something in the water in the Broadway Theater District be cause what's growing up around there suddenly is a crop of one-person shows.  Tovah Feldshuh's working on one.  Will Ferrell's working on one.  Val Kilmer's working on one.

Britney is her own best publicist  —  Plus: Behind Eddie Murphy's split; weekend box office prediction  —  Britney Spears is responsible for the publication of the “personal” photos of her and her kids that have found their way into the pages of OK!  Magazine for two weeks running.

Hillary: Britney Makes Me LMAO!  —  Senator Hillary Clinton has prepared answers to questions on nearly all the world's problems — but she didn't have an answer to a key question on the minds of voters: Can you help Britney?!  —  TMZ was there yesterday at California State University Northridge …

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden were about to break up before baby was born  —  Nicole Richie and Joel Madden's relationship was so troubled that they not only did they call off their wedding, they were about to break up before their baby was born, claims The Enquirer.

Efron hangs with ‘Welles’  —  Zac Efron will star in “Me and Orson Welles,” an adaptation of the period coming-of-age novel by Robert Kaplow that Richard Linklater will direct.  —  Set in 1937, the story centers on a high school student (Efron) who, while strolling the streets of New York …