NATIONAL ENQUIRER WORLD EXCLUSIVE: PATRICK SWAYZE HAS 5 WEEKS TO LIVE  —  Patrick Swayze has five weeks to live, The NATIONAL ENQUIRER has learned.  —  In a shocking world exclusive, The NATIONAL ENQUIRER has uncovered the devastating news that the beloved Hollywood actor and dancer …

Matthew McConaughey Launching Surf Line  —  The next time Matthew McConaughey bares his bod at the beach, he may be wearing his own designs.  —  Us Weekly has learned exclusively that the sand-and-surf-loving star, 38, is developing his own line of swim apparel named j.k. livin …

JUST ASKING  —  WHICH actress went into rehab only after she suffered a miscarriage?  She was on a four-day cocaine bender when she lost the baby she didn't even know she was carrying . . . WHICH aging actress was the celebrity guest for a fashion function and made...

Lindsay Lohan is in.  Britney Spears is out.  —  I hear Lindsay will likely be replacing Spears as host for next week's Scandinavian Style Mansion gala in Los Angeles.  —  Spears was originally asked to host the soiree, which promotes high-end Scandinavian fashion, but organizer Claus …

New Couple Alert: Keanu Reeves & Parker Posey?  —  On Feb. 25, an eyewitness spotted Matrix hunk Keanu Reeves cozying up to the queen of indie films, Parker Posey, at swanky L.A. hotel the Chateau Marmont.  —  “They were sharing a seat and sitting very, very close,” the source tells OK!.

Christina Aguilera's New Role: Face of Stephen Webster Jewelry  —  Being a muse is nothing new to Christina Aguilera, whose retro-inspired fashion sense is appreciated by many the world's top designers and stylists — and jeweler Stephen Webster is no exception.

Demi Moore: It's A Family Affair  —  Demi Moore, looking fabulous at 45, appears on the cover of Harper's Bazaar and poses with her daughters: Rumer,19; Scout, 16; and Tallulah,14.  Ashton Kutcher's wife discusses bringing her young husband into her family's life, aging, Kabbalah, and her model extended family with her ex Bruce Willis.

Pop Tarts: Jenna Jameson Gets Kinky for the Camera Dressed as Bettie Page  —  LOS ANGELES — She may recently have gotten rid of her fake breasts, but former porn princess Jenna Jameson is more than happy to wear (and promote) “fake” flesh.  —  Jameson is set to unveil …

Salma Hayek: I Wanted to Have a Boy  —  Sure, Salma Hayek is thrilled with her 6-month-old daughter, Valentina.  —  But the new mom, 41, says in the new issue of Glamour, “I have something to confess, I wanted a boy.”  —  Why?  —  “Probably because I was afraid,” she says.

MICHAEL MUSTO as LINDSAY LOHAN as MARILYN MONROE  —  Heath Ledger died in the nude, but most of today's young female stars live in the nude, albeit while teetering on the precipice of oblivion and trying to join him there.  Whereas yesterday's sexpot Jane Fonda had to apologize just for saying the word c**t …

Britney Spears Earns Raves as a Dance Teacher  —  Britney Spears headed back into the dance studio Tuesday night to teach a class of 15 children.  —  And her pint-sized pupils are singing her praises.  “I like Britney,” 5-year-old Elissa Bouganim, who has taken three classes with the pop star, tells PEOPLE.

New Gnarls Barkley Video May Make Fans Dizzy  —  The video for Gnarls Barkley's new single, “Run,” may feature a cameo from Justin Timberlake, but it's still not quite ready to air on MTV.  —  That's because of its strobe effects, which caused the clip to fail the Harding Test …