Britney's All Smiles on ‘How I Met Your Mother’  —  We've all been talking about it and now here's your first look at Britney Spears as a receptionist on How I Met Your Mother.  Looking slim and sexy (from the shoulders up at least) Britney was reportedly on her best behavior last week …

In Lieu of Being Clever: Jennifer Aniston in a Bikini  —  Why have none of you locked this lady down!!!?  —  Sincerely,  —  Mostly-sane women of the world  —  On Saturday, Jennifer Aniston stripped down to this hot little fuscia number and spent the day lounging in the Miami sun.

Pamela Anderson's trousers do a vanishing act as she hits the stage for a magic show  —  Pamela Anderson starred in a magic show in Berlin yesterday but it wasn't her tricks that got the crowd talking.  —  The former Baywatch star emerged on stage in just a tight corset and skimpy briefs …

Heather Mills ‘So Happy’ with $50M Divorce Settlement  —  Speaking on the steps of the High Court in London Monday, Heather Mills declared herself “so, so happy” with her nearly $50 million divorce settlement from Paul McCartney.  —  The 40-year-old ex-wife of the former Beatle said she was …

Kristin Davis Has a Sex Tape  —  Either Sex and the City has really stepped up their game for their new movie, or someone who looks a lot like Charlotte York is licking some guy's dork.  I guess the story behind this is some guy is shopping around this “Kristin Davis sex tape” …

Kaplan Scores — Brit Must Pay Up  —  Britney has just been ordered to pay Mark Vincent Kaplan, K-Daddy's lawyer, $375,000 in lawyer's fees.  —  Kaplan was asking for a cool half mil over a four month period in the custody fight.  Commish Scott Gordon had initially ordered Brit to pay Federleze's “reasonable” attorney's fees.

Anna Nicole Inquest — Daniel Did Drugs  —  Larry Birkhead has just testified in the Bahamas in the inquest involving the death of Daniel Smith, Anna Nicole's son.  Some of the testimony about drugs is pretty shocking.  —  Birkhead testified that in April 2006, Anna realized some of her Methadone was missing in her Studio City home.

Madonna and Guy ‘Remain Happily Married’  —  Madonna and Guy Ritchie are not headed for splitsville, according to the singer's rep.  —  “I am delighted to confirm that Mr. and Mrs. Guy Ritchie remain happily married,” Liz Rosenberg said in a statement Monday, countering rampant speculation about trouble in the couple's marriage.

Will Smith, Jada the new faces of Scientology  —  Plus: Weekend box office and celebrity sightings  —  Radar magazine's April cover story tries to make the case that Will Smith and wife Jada Pinkett (seen here with Scientology supercouple Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes) are the new faces of the religion.

Thomas Jane Popped for DUI  —  TMZ has learned “The Punisher” star Thomas Jane was busted early this morning for DUI.  —  Jane, whose real name is Thomas Elliot, was nabbed in Kern County, Calif. by CHP officers.  He has been charged with DUI and driving with a blood alcohol level above .08% — both misdemeanors.

Oil Heir Loses Another Couch  —  BRANDON “Greasy Bear” Davis, grandson of the late oil billionaire Marvin Davis, has worn out his welcome as a houseguest of one of his few friends, music producer Scott Storch.  The other night, “Brandon and Scott went out and Brandon went back to Scott's place and crashed on the couch,” a source said.

Reality Check  —  Mr. Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher, has a terrifically entertaining cover on VMan (spring/summer 2008)—to illustrate the line “ASHTON GETS REAL,” he poses on and in the mag as a robot.  A good-looking robot, but a robot nonetheless.  —  “I'M NOT REAL” is shot by Mario Testino …

Tidbits: Nicole thinks Paris is a ‘nightmare’  —  Plus: LiLo says no to mom's reality show; Colin Farrell Googles himself  —  Nicole Richie, left, and Paris Hilton were able to patch up their friendship after their fallout in 2005, but an insider tells Star that the two are at again.

An attack on Tupac Shakur launched a hip-hop war  —  In 1994, Tupac Shakur was ambushed, beaten and shot at the Quad Recording Studios in New York.  He insisted that friends of Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs were behind it.  New information supports him.  —  NEW YORK — Cameras flashed as paramedics carried …