Career Climbing, With Claws Bared  —  The pseudo-improvised reality series “The Hills,” as it plays out beyond MTV, on tabloid covers and in nearly every other byway of the modern media, is above all a vicious decimator of hope.  It mocks our hearts; it plays with our allegiances, and we welcome the abuse.

Welcome back to England, David!  Chilly reception for Beckham as he arrives for training from LA  —  David Beckham received a frosty welcome after flying to London for a training session with England today.  —  The football star, who left sunny LA over the weekend, braved the snow for a warm …

J.K. Rowling Admits She Was Suicidal  —  Though she has made no secret of how her life had sunk before her immense success with the Harry Potter series, J.K. Rowling has never before detailed that despondent period of her life.  —  That now has changed, with the author, 42 …

Federline gets caked ... in cake  —  I guess that's what happens when you have to say goodbye to your twenties.  —  BRITNEY's ex-husband KEVIN FEDERLINE took a night off from looking after their kids to celebrate hitting the big 3-0 this weekend.  —  The party took place at Pure nightclub in Las Vegas …

Justin Timberlake Donates $200,000 to His Hometown  —  Justin Timberlake doesn't just bring “SexyBack.”  The 27-year-old singer also knows how to give back - in a big way.  —  On Thursday, the Memphis native gave two separate donations of $100,000 to the Memphis Rock ‘n’ Soul Museum and the Memphis Music Foundation.

Kate and Owen Use Buddy System for Their Bike Ride  —  Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson spent Easter weekend together in Miami - and this time, the on-again duo were joined by Hudson's son, Ryder, for coffee runs and bike rides.  —  After getting in some sunbathing, Hudson (accompanied by Ryder on one bike) …

Johnny Knoxville, Single Jackass  —  Johnny Knoxville is officially on the market.  His divorce has been signed, sealed and delivered.  —  Knoxville, who was married to wife Melanie Lynn for 11 years, is officially unhitched, according to legal papers obtained by TMZ and filed in L.A. Superior Court.

‘Fifth Beatle’ loses cancer battle with Sir Paul McCartney by his bedside  —  The man known as the “Fifth Beatle” has died aged 66.  —  Neil Aspinall had been fighting for his life in hospital in New York.  —  Sir Paul McCartney flew out over the weekend to be by his bedside.

Jessica Alba's face of thunder shows the strain of pregnancy  —  A heavily-pregnant Jessica Alba looked like she wanted to go home - and fast - after dining out with her fiancé in New York.  —  The normally cheerful beauty, who is reportedly expecting twins, looked miserable in the Big Apple at the weekend.

Kristin Davis Blows Through LAX  —  Kristin Davis tried to make her way through LAX incognito over the weekend.  —  The “SATC” darling has been starring in her biggest role since the show ended, a little something we like to call “Apparent Victim of Leaked Sex Pictures.”

Dumb Skank!  —  Wonky McValtrex is in South Africa and she was asked what she thought of the place.  She answered, “I love Africa in general — South Africa and West Africa, they are both great countries.”  —  I expect nothing less from this jizz-for-brains slag!