Career Climbing, With Claws Bared  —  The pseudo-improvised reality series “The Hills,” as it plays out beyond MTV, on tabloid covers and in nearly every other byway of the modern media, is above all a vicious decimator of hope.  It mocks our hearts; it plays with our allegiances, and we welcome the abuse.

Welcome back to England, David!  Chilly reception for Beckham as he arrives for training from LA  —  David Beckham received a frosty welcome after flying to London for a training session with England today.  —  The football star, who left sunny LA over the weekend, braved the snow for a warm …

J.K. Rowling Admits She Was Suicidal  —  Though she has made no secret of how her life had sunk before her immense success with the Harry Potter series, J.K. Rowling has never before detailed that despondent period of her life.  —  That now has changed, with the author, 42 …

Kate and Owen Use Buddy System for Their Bike Ride  —  Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson spent Easter weekend together in Miami - and this time, the on-again duo were joined by Hudson's son, Ryder, for coffee runs and bike rides.  —  After getting in some sunbathing, Hudson (accompanied by Ryder on one bike) …

Johnny Knoxville, Single Jackass  —  Johnny Knoxville is officially on the market.  His divorce has been signed, sealed and delivered.  —  Knoxville, who was married to wife Melanie Lynn for 11 years, is officially unhitched, according to legal papers obtained by TMZ and filed in L.A. Superior Court.

Tyra Banks Has A Stalker?!  —  There's actually a person out there obsessed with Ty Ty Baby.  His name is Brady Green and he's getting out of jail soon.  This has Ty Ty very nervous.  Can't you tell?  She's nervous in the eyes.  —  37-year-old Brady has been sending Ty Ty letters and calling her ass since January.

Dumb Skank!  —  Wonky McValtrex is in South Africa and she was asked what she thought of the place.  She answered, “I love Africa in general — South Africa and West Africa, they are both great countries.”  —  I expect nothing less from this jizz-for-brains slag!

‘Fifth Beatle’ Neil Aspinall loses cancer battle with Sir Paul McCartney by his bedside  —  The man known as the “Fifth Beatle” has died aged 66.  —  Neil Aspinall had been fighting for his life in hospital in New York.  —  Sir Paul McCartney flew out over the weekend to be by his bedside.

Justin Timberlake Donates $200,000 to His Hometown  —  Justin Timberlake doesn't just bring “SexyBack.”  The 27-year-old singer also knows how to give back - in a big way.  —  On Thursday, the Memphis native gave two separate donations of $100,000 to the Memphis Rock ‘n’ Soul Museum and the Memphis Music Foundation.

Boy Arrested for Tossing Rock at Soulja Boy's Tour Bus  —  A 12 year-old boy was arrested in Bloomington, Illinois last Thursday night (March 20) after he threw a rock at the windshield of rapper Soulja Boy's tour bus.  According to the Bloomington Pantagraph, the unidentified youth attacked …

Kristin Davis Blows Through LAX  —  Kristin Davis tried to make her way through LAX incognito over the weekend.  —  The “SATC” darling has been starring in her biggest role since the show ended, a little something we like to call “Apparent Victim of Leaked Sex Pictures.”

Federline gets caked ... in cake  —  I guess that's what happens when you have to say goodbye to your twenties.  —  BRITNEY's ex-husband KEVIN FEDERLINE took a night off from looking after their kids to celebrate hitting the big 3-0 this weekend.  —  The party took place at Pure nightclub in Las Vegas …

Oprah Winfrey's Cocker Spaniel Dies  —  Oprah Winfrey's 13-year-old Cocker Spaniel, Sophie, has passed away of kidney failure.  —  “Everyone here is really sad,” a source at her Harpo production company told Celebrity Dog Watcher.  “Sophie was truly part of the Harpo family as well as Oprah's.”