Lance Armstrong To Be A Father Again!!!!!!!!  —  Not only is he returning to racing, but he's also gonna be a dad for the fourth time.  —  Lance Armstrong has super sperm!  —  Sources reveal exclusively to PerezHilton.com that the multiple Tour De France winner is expecting a child with his girlfriend, a non celeb.

HOLIDAY WISHES … 471 COMMENTS SO FAR...  I hope you all have a Merry Christmas!  I have a 3 year old little boy as well.  He's my life and I'm so happy things are going well for you again!  —  You and your family will be in my prayers!

A Car As Fugly As Its Owner  —  This is the kind of utter s**t that is created when you give a worthless slut with a 4-year-old's brain tons of money.  Wonky McValtrex took a perfectly good Bentley and doused it in Pepto-Bismal diarrhea.  The Daily Mail says Wonky's new pink short bus cost her stupid ass $200,000.

Spencer Had Visions Of Heidi's Mom “Killing Me in my Sleep”  —  Despite having eloped in a secret ceremony in Mexico last month, Spencer Pratt refused to make his marriage to Heidi Montag official during Monday night's season finale of the The Hills.  —  “I just want to give you the wedding …

UNCOUPLING  —  BOTH Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony have recently been photographed without their wedding rings, but the marital discord apparently started much earlier.  Despite the fact that the couple renewed its vows in October, a source tells Page Six that Lopez used to send her assistant …

Lily Allen is Topless Too  —  Not content to let her tabloid headline rival, Amy Winehouse, get all the toplessness attention, Lily Allen went topless too on her holiday.  Now, don't get me wrong, Lily Allen is definitely a whole hell of a lot nicer to look at than Amy Winehouse …

ScarJo Blows Nose, Raises Thousands  —  Scarlett Johansson has turned her head cold into a charitable event, with her used tissue selling for a whopping $5,300 on eBay!  “The Spirit” star was ill while promoting her new movie on the “Tonight Show with Jay Leno.”

JUST ASKING  —  WHICH television newsman is said to be having an affair with his female executive producer?  She's getting a divorce, but it's still a bit sticky . . . WHICH gay Broadway director made the most of it when one of his principal actors left the show?

Danielle unwraps her gifts  —  The Scouse glamour girl shows off her bumper curves in her festive smalls, but doesn't keep them on for long.  —  To see more pics, click below.  —  You can always bank on Dani to sex up Christmas and she's repaid our faith handsomely.

DOUBLING DOWN  —  MGM GOES FOR BROKE ON AD CAMPAIGN FOR CRUISE FILM  —  Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer is spending twice the usual amount to market Tom Cruise's “Valkyrie,” in an effort to give it a fighting chance when it opens at the box office Christmas day.  —  “Valkyrie” [Read the review here] …

Simon Cowell is a Shirtless Skiier  —  American Idol judge Simon Cowell flexes his shirtless pecs and rides his jet ski with his former beau, Sinitta, in Barbados on Monday.  —  The 49-year-old Englishman really loves his jet ski!  This exact time last year, he was also in Barbados having …

Now Lily's in a foreign jugs bust  —  It didn't take long for the Smile singer to get stuck into one of her favourite pastimes, topless sunbathing, on the beach.  —  Wearing just a pair of blue bikini-bottoms, Lily was pictured laughing with a pal and sipping a drink.

Mad Men's Anne Dudek Welcomes a Son  —  Anne Dudek of Mad Men and her husband, painter Matthew Heller, are parents of their first child, a son.  —  Akiva was born Dec. 14 and weighed 7 lbs., 7 oz., a rep for the actress tells PEOPLE.  —  Dudek, 33, whose character was killed off of House last season …

Michael Jackson silences rumours of money trouble by renting a $100,000 a month mansion … There have been persistent rumours of bankruptcy and threats of foreclosure on his Neverland ranch.  —  And when an auction to sell off his treasures was announced, it seemed that Michael Jackson was teetering on the brink of financial ruin.