STUCK AT HOME  —  PARTY animals-turned-parents Ashlee Simpson (above) and Pete Wentz are having trouble with their new domestic lifestyle.  An insider told Page Six, “Ashlee and Pete are on the rocks.  He is going out all the time and she's stuck at home.  It's just not working.”

Lindsay Lohan's New Movie Goes Straight to Cable  —  Lindsay Lohan got some reel bad news this week: Her new movie, Labor Pains, is headed straight to cable.  —  The film's production company, Nu Image/Millennium Films, has confirmed that the comedy will premiere on ABC Family in July 2009.

Gun-Toting Shawn Johnson Fan Arrested  —  A man claiming he was “meant to be” with Shawn Johnson was arrested early Tuesday morning after trying to sneak on to the set of “Dancing With the Stars” — and cops say he had two loaded guns and duct tape in his car.

Rihanna Gets Gun Tattoo on Rib Cage  —  Rihanna, who was allegedly battered by boyfriend Chris Brown, has apparently gotten a gun tattoo etched across her ribcage.  —  According to Los Angeles-based tattoo artist BangBang, the 21-year-old singer — who often wears a miniature gun pendant necklace …

Madonna Files Adoption Papers for Second Malawian Child  —  Madonna is trying to adopt another child from the impoverished African country of Malawi.  —  An official at the Malawi welfare department confirms to the Associated Press that the singer, 50, has filed adoption papers.

SCARLETT JOHANSSON IS THINNING OUT  —  SAY it ain't so, ScarJo!  Sultry Scarlett Johansson is getting rid of her famous curves.  Eyes popped Tuesday night at Moet & Chandon's “Tribute to Film” soiree at London's Big Sky Studios when the “very slim” actress, who's married to Ryan Reynolds, strutted in wearing a tight, black minidress.

Jamie Lynn & Casey: The Wedding's Off!  —  On March 4, Jamie Lynn Spears and her boyfriend, Casey Aldridge, were spotted leaving their New Orleans hotel after attending her sister Britney Spears' Circus comeback concert the night before.  —  While Casey tenderly held their 9-month-old daughter …

CSI Star Marg Helgenberger Files for Divorce  —  Four months after separating from her husband of nearly two decades, CSI actress Marg Helgenberger has filed for divorce, documents filed Tuesday in Los Angeles court show.  —  Helgenberger cited irreconcilable differences as the reason behind …

Yes, I am complex!  —  So everyone has been putting up these pics from Complex Magazine showing the comparison of the original un-photoshopped photo that mistakenly was put up on complex.com.  This blog even went to the trouble to make an animation of the before and after.

Sheen camp's not crying over Richards' ouster  —  Plus: Good news for Botox biz; Aniston never saw Mayer breakup coming  —  If you're among the “Dancing With the Stars” fans happy to see Charlie Sheen's ex-wife Denise Richards out of the competition, you aren't alone.

Gatecrasher: Mariah thinking family in a big way  —  Mariah Carey is ready to expand her family - and she wants a baby girl.  —  The pop superstar has prematurely dropped $200K on furniture, including a pink crib and highchair, from a children's store in San Francisco for the new Hollywood home …

IS KATHY GRIFFIN PARIS HILTON'S NEW BFF?!  —  There was some crazy reality crossover going on in Los Angeles yesterday!  We spotted the Queen of Photo Ops, Paris Hilton, with the Queen of the D-List, Kathy Griffin, hanging out together at Kitson!  —  Kathy strapped on a pink, fluffy tutu while P wore her biggest pair of sunglasses.

Jenny McCarthy Reveals Body-After-Baby Secrets  —  Jenny McCarthy's weight ballooned to more than 200 pounds after the birth of her son Evan, now 6 - but the actress got back on track through smaller meals, a diet overhaul and a yoga regimen that left her boyfriend Jim Carrey feeling jealous.

DNA tests show boy-dad Alfie Patten is NOT the daddy  —  The schoolboy alleged to have become a dad aged 12 is not the baby's father, the Mirror can reveal.  —  Alfie Patten, now 13, had a £300 DNA test after half a dozen boys claimed to have slept with schoolgirl pal Chantelle Stedman, 15.

FIRST LOOK: See Bret Michaels's New Book Cover  —  The cover of Roses & Thorns  —  Every rose has its thorn - just like every hard-livin' rocker must have an autobiography.  Bret Michaels, the Poison frontman and star of VH1's Rock of Love reality series, brings his own roller-coaster ride of sex …

Ask Ausiello: Spoilers on ‘House,’ ‘Smallville,’ 'Grey's,' ‘24,’ ‘Ugly Betty,’ ‘Housewives,’ ‘Bones,’ ‘Big Love,’ ‘Lost,’ ‘The Office,’ and more!  —  Question: I'm so excited about the return of Chase and Cameron on House!  Do you have any insider info on what they'll be doing?  —Leigh

CLORIS BARES HER STEAMY SIDE  —  CLORIS Leachman is 82, but the spry, Oscar-winning actress — who recently hoofed it on “Dancing with the Stars” — hasn't forgotten the hot hookups and wild flirtations of her younger days.  —  In her new memoir, “Cloris,” out next week from Kensington …

Lance Armstrong Due Back in Saddle in a Week  —  Lance Armstrong has to do one of those rare things he's never been successful at: Taking it slow.  —  Recovering in Austin, Texas, after a five-inch stainless-steel plate and 12 screws were inserted in his collarbone, Armstrong, 37, will be up and at 'em in a week, his doctor says.