Lindsay Lohan's New Movie Goes Straight to Cable  —  Lindsay Lohan got some reel bad news this week: Her new movie, Labor Pains, is headed straight to cable.  —  The film's production company, Nu Image/Millennium Films, has confirmed that the comedy will premiere on ABC Family in July 2009.

Rihanna Gets Gun Tattoo on Rib Cage  —  Rihanna, who was allegedly battered by boyfriend Chris Brown, has apparently gotten a gun tattoo etched across her ribcage.  —  According to Los Angeles-based tattoo artist BangBang, the 21-year-old singer — who often wears a miniature gun pendant necklace …

Shawn Johnson's Alleged Stalker  —  TMZ has obtained photos of Robert O'Ryan — the man accused of stalking Shawn Johnson.  You will see him in court shortly, and he now looks more like Charles Manson than the clean cut dude you're looking at.  —  O'Ryan, 34, was arrested Tuesday morning …

SCARLETT JOHANSSON IS THINNING OUT  —  SAY it ain't so, ScarJo!  Sultry Scarlett Johansson is getting rid of her famous curves.  Eyes popped Tuesday night at Moet & Chandon's “Tribute to Film” soiree at London's Big Sky Studios when the “very slim” actress, who's married to Ryan Reynolds, strutted in wearing a tight, black minidress.

Madonna Files Adoption Papers for Second Malawian Child  —  Madonna is trying to adopt another child from the impoverished African country of Malawi.  —  An official at the Malawi welfare department confirms to the Associated Press that the singer, 50, has filed adoption papers.

Schoolboy Alfie Patten, 13, NOT the daddy  —  The schoolboy alleged to have become a dad aged 12 is not the baby's father, the Mirror can reveal.  —  Alfie Patten, now 13, had a £300 DNA test after half a dozen boys claimed to have slept with schoolgirl pal Chantelle Stedman, 15.

STUCK AT HOME  —  PARTY animals-turned-parents Ashlee Simpson (above) and Pete Wentz are having trouble with their new domestic lifestyle.  An insider told Page Six, “Ashlee and Pete are on the rocks.  He is going out all the time and she's stuck at home.  It's just not working.”

IS KATHY GRIFFIN PARIS HILTON'S NEW BFF?!  —  There was some crazy reality crossover going on in Los Angeles yesterday!  We spotted the Queen of Photo Ops, Paris Hilton, with the Queen of the D-List, Kathy Griffin, hanging out together at Kitson!  —  Kathy strapped on a pink, fluffy tutu while P wore her biggest pair of sunglasses.

The Bachelor's Jason Visits Molly in Her Hometown  —  It's been nearly a month since The Bachelor's Jason Mesnick and Molly Malaney inspired shock and outrage by rekindling their romance on national TV — at the expense of Jason's jilted fiancée Melissa Rycroft.  —  So how is the couple doing now?

Local Authorities Searching For Flo Rida's Tour Bus  —  It involves a shocking allegation involving a popular hip hop artist who was in town for a CD signing.  —  Lexington Police are now searching for Flo Rida's tour bus in several states on allegations of animal cruelty.

Jake Gyllenhaal Serves Up Global Green  —  Jake Gyllenhaal lends a helping hand in building a garden during Green Service Day at Manual Arts High School in Los Angeles last month.  —  He joined Global Green USA President Matt Petersen for the launch of the National Green Schools Initiative.

Jennifer Hudson Sets Wedding Date, Returns to Idol  —  Five months after the tragic murders of three of her family members, Jennifer Hudson is moving forward with planning her wedding to David Otunga — and returning to the American Idol stage.  —  After Idol's tribute to Motown Wednesday …

CLORIS BARES HER STEAMY SIDE  —  CLORIS Leachman is 82, but the spry, Oscar-winning actress — who recently hoofed it on “Dancing with the Stars” — hasn't forgotten the hot hookups and wild flirtations of her younger days.  —  In her new memoir, “Cloris,” out next week from Kensington …

Ask Ausiello: Spoilers on ‘House,’ ‘Smallville,’ 'Grey's,' ‘24,’ ‘Ugly Betty,’ ‘Housewives,’ ‘Bones,’ ‘Big Love,’ ‘Lost,’ ‘The Office,’ and more!  —  Question: I'm so excited about the return of Chase and Cameron on House!  Do you have any insider info on what they'll be doing?  —Leigh

EXCLUSIVE: Jeffrey Dean Morgan Discovers He Has a 4-Year-Old Son  —  Denny Duquette is suddenly a daddy!  —  Former Grey's Anatomy star Jeffrey Dean Morgan, 42, recently found out that he has a child with actress/producer Sherrie Rose, Us Weekly reveals in its newest issue.

Tony Parker ‘Over’ Eva Longoria's Sex Symbol Status  —  Tony Parker ‘Over’ Eva Longoria's Sex Symbol Status and She Officially Announces She's Done With Lesbian Lip-Locks  —  Eva Longoria has earned almost every physically-fabulous honor that there is in showbiz over the years …

Jaime Pressly Finally Spills About Her Split  —  She's got her hands full with TV's My Name Is Earl and her new movie I Love You, Man, but the biggest job in Jaime Pressly's life is being mom to 23-month-old son Dezi James - which might have seemed a tall order after her split with ex-fiancé Eric Cubiche in November.

Alpha Media Shutters Blender  —  Co-CEO to Leave, Magazine's Editor to Head Maxim  —  NEW YORK (AdAge.com) — Alpha Media Group closed Blender magazine today, eliminating about 30 jobs and reducing its portfolio of titles to Maxim alone.  The April issue of Blender out now will be its last.