Lindsay's Pals — She Can't Quit Drugs and Alcohol  —  Lindsay Lohan cannot comply with the order Judge Marsha Revel will almost certainly lay down tomorrow — cut drugs and alcohol out of her diet ... this according to multiple people who are in a position to know.

“Andrew said to me: ‘Tell him £500,000’.  Look after me and he'll look after you”  —  Desperate Fergie lies to make money out of Prince  —  SHAKE ON IT: Fergie agrees her shady deal with our man at his plush Mayfair apartment  —  THE Duchess of York is shamelessly plotting …

EXCLUSIVE: Jesse James Selling Off His Possessions Online  —  Sandra peddled out of Jesse's life and now he's selling the bikes!  —  Jesse James has posted two vintage bicycles on his eBay account, RadarOnline.com has learned — and bidders are vying for a piece of Sandra's soon-to-be ex.

David Krumholtz Ties the Knot  —  Numb3rs star David Krumholtz and actress Vanessa Britting were married on Saturday at The Plaza Hotel in New York City, his rep confirms exclusively to PEOPLE.  —  The couple, who were engaged in July 2008 in Paris, tied the knot in a non-denominational ceremony …

Tiger willing to give Elin $750M - to keep quiet  —  It's a high price for silence.  —  Wronged wife Elin Nordegren is trying to club an eye-popping $750 million out of Tiger Woods in their divorce negotiations, according to reports Friday.  —  Woods hasn't agreed yet …

‘Uncle Boonmee’ wins Cannes' Palme d'Or  —  Films by Beauvois, Haroun, Amalric also honored  —  CANNES — Thai director Apichatpong Weerasethakul's “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives” won the Festival de Cannes' top honor, the coveted Palme d'Or, as the 63rd annual Festival de Cannes wrapped Sunday night.

Tila Tequila to Enter ‘Celebrity Rehab’  —  Originally posted less than a minute ago by TMZ Staff  —  Tila Tequila is finally seeking professional help — TMZ has confirmed through multiple sources that the bisexual reality star has committed to do the next season of VH1's “Celebrity Rehab” ... if it doesn't get canceled first.

Candy Spelling Spoils Her Grandkids  —  Now that Candy Spelling has reconciled with daughter Tori Spelling, the producer of Broadway's Promises Promises is delighting in her new role as doting grandma.  —  “There is 3-year-old [Liam] and next month, Stella will be two,” …

Tom “Twinkle Toes” Cruise Is Getting Extra Annoying Now!  —  Katie Holmes should have her lawyers look over her marriage contract with Tom Cruise again.  There has to be something in there about if being annoyed to death, they will loosen up on the shackles a bit!  Poor girl!

Michal Madsen Hospitalized After Drinking Binge; Under Suicide Watch  —  Troubled actor Michael Madsen has sparked fresh concerns for his health after he was reportedly hospitalized following a nine-day booze binge in Britain.  —  The “Reservoir Dogs” star was staying at the Penventon Park Hotel …