Mike and Kelly wed in secret  —  Funnyman Mike Myers has secretly married his longtime girlfriend, Kelly Tisdale, in a private ceremony here, Page Six has learned.  The famously low-key “Austin Powers” star and Tisdale were wed five months ago in a “beautiful” ceremony, confirmed a rep for Myers.

Denise Richards: Charlie's Too Risky for Our Kids  —  Denise Richards will not let her two kids near Charlie Sheen because she thinks it's just too risky ... sources tell TMZ.  —  Denise, we're told, is “disgusted” with Charlie and the way he's living, and believes he would put 6-year-old Sam and 5-year-old Lola at risk.

The Disposable Woman  —  FORTY-THREE minutes into his “special live edition” with Charlie Sheen on Monday night, Piers Morgan finally got around to asking his guest a real question.  Before that, Mr. Morgan and Mr. Sheen had mostly traded chuckles and anecdotes about multiday benders …

Huckabee Attacks Natalie Portman For Glamorizing “Out Of Wedlock Births”  —  In a radio appearance on Monday, Mike Huckabee attacked actress Natalie Portman for having a child “out of wedlock.”  Huckabee said that it's “troubling” to see people like “Natalie Portman or some other Hollywood starlet …

Britney Spears Talks New Album, Toned Boyfriend & Upcoming Tour [AUDIO]  —  Under a month away from the highly-anticipated release of her seventh studio album Femme Fatale, pop princess Britney Spears visited “On Air with Ryan Seacrest” Friday to give her first radio interview about the record which drops March 29.

Lindsay Lohan Is Talking Plea Bargain  —  Lindsay Lohan's lawyer and the prosecutor have been trying to hammer out a plea bargain but have hit a wall, so now they're having a powwow with the judge to break the stalemate.  —  Sources connected to the case tell TMZ ... Shawn Holley has been speaking …

Pics - Miley Cyrus Is Obsessed With Mustaches.  Hipsters & Cowboys All Over The World Rejoice  —  We caught up with Miley Cyrus last night after her interview with Jimmy Fallon and post interview dinner at Tao.  One thing that is true for all celebrities is that whenever they do something, anything, they go out and celebrate.

Kirstie Alley Wants To Use Dancing With The Stars As A Weight Loss Plan - Pics  —  Yoyo dieter Kirstie Alley is trying to lose weight.  Again.  And Alley likes to get paid for shedding lbs so instead of going with Jenny Craig, she opted to go on Dancing with the Stars.

Julianne Hough to Star Opposite Tom Cruise in ‘Rock of Ages’ … Former Dancing With the Stars pro Julianne Hough is in final negotiations to star alongside Tom Cruise in Rock of Ages, New Line's adaptation of the hit Broadway musical.  —  Adam Shankman is directing from a script by Chris D'Arienzo.

Mueller's Sheen drama will feature on Hilton show  —  The other side of Charlie Sheen's custody battle with his estranged wife Brooke Mueller is set to feature on Paris Hilton's new reality TV show.  —  The socialite has revealed her show is still filming and her friend Mueller's battle to keep her twin sons will feature prominently.

Courtney Love's Unfiltered Twitter Mouth Has Cost Her $430,000  —  As I delete every “you're a coke whore c**t thief” comment I've ever made on Twitter, Courtney Love is frantically checking under sofa cushions, grabbing at the change return slot on payphones, and answering every pyramid scheme ad published …

American Idol Contestant Chris Medina Given An Amazing Gift!  —  What an incredible gesture by all!  This will change their lives for sure!  —  If you've been watching American Idol this season, you know about Chris Medina and his heartbreaking story all too well.

Video: Lady Gaga Performs ‘Born This Way’ With YouTube Star  —  It was a performance of a lifetime for YouTube star Maria Aragon Thursday night.  The 10-year-old singer joined Lady Gaga on stage at her concert in Toronto to perform ‘Born This Way’ live in front of thousands of people.

What Should Prince William Do About His Hair?  —  When it comes to their hair, Prince William and Prince Harry both have had great senses of humor.  A year ago when the brothers had their official portrait unveiled, Harry even joked “I'm a little bit more ginger in there than I am in real life …

Toldja!  Kristen Stewart Closing Snow White Deal  —  Deadline was first to tell you in January that despite Universal Pictures' testing of young actresses, Twilight Saga's Kristen Stewart had materialized as a likely candidate to play the lead role in Snow White and the Hunstman.

Penelope Cruz hates her brother's “fame-hungry, B-list” girlfriend, Eva Longoria  —  As we reported in January, just a short time after Eva Longoria's divorce drama, she began hooking up with Eduardo Cruz, the younger brother of Penelope Cruz.  Eduardo is 25, I think, and Eva turns 36 years old this month.

Ashlee Simpson and Travis Barker are hooking up  —  This week's Star Magazine has a quick blurb about Ashlee Simpson and Travis Barker hooking up now that Ashlee is single, having abruptly dumped her husband of nearly three years, Pete Wentz.  For Ashlee's sake I hope this isn't true, but she's no prize either: